This is a girl that has been in high school classes with me the past two years and now we are in college classes together. We have had a few conversations in high school and talked a little bit more in college, just about classes though, we are not friends my any stretch of the imagination, just acquaintances. I have really liked her from the moment I first saw her, she is beautiful,strong,smart and has a laid back personality.

I'm really shy though and always get really nervous talking to her and in high school since she was on the weightlifting team she was always talking to the jocks, that are tall and muscular and me being 5'5 and not muscular. In the college classes, which are night classes at a high school, we are in two of the same classes together and one day after class I have wanted to go up to her and say something like her name, I think that you are beautiful and smart and I was wondering if maybe you would want to go out sometime.

Unfortunately five months have passed and I still have not been able to tell her. We basically only have I class left this Wednesday because the other two days are final exams and you leave when you are done. I know that when I'm walking next to her after class all I have to do is say her name and get her attention and then I will be forced to say the rest, but I can't bring myself to even do that I get so nervous.

I know that I have nothing to lose, that she will just say no or that she already has a boyfriend and that after this I will probably never see her again, so it's not like I have to worry about her thinking I'm a weirdo or anything. Like said above I'm really shy and have never had a girlfriend or anything and I know that comments will say that just telling her how I feel like this is too strong and I should try to be friends with her, but I have never had a lot of friends and have not been friends with a girl since 5th grade. I also know people will say that I barely know her and it is probably just lust but there have been plenty of girls that are good looking to me but I do not feel attracted to them� in a emotional sense, there just seems to be something different about this girl, I don't know why. I'm basically just looking for comments on the situation, sorry if I wrote so much I just had to vent how I feel.

First you don't tell her how you feel, but if you like her, you ask her out on a date. You may start by talking more to her about classes, and try to spend more time around her.

First off the girl we are focused on and want attention from, is always a different attraction unlike any other.

Before you get the courage up to confess feelings of romance and attractions, how about say hi first, and acknowledge her presence and get some small details about her, as you give her some about yourself. Friendly and casual, in a safe class/school setting.

Fantasizing for 5 months is 5 months of wasting time. Shy is no excuse for not being friendly.

Seeing as you only have one more class before she disappears from your life, you DO have nothing to lose! :) I agree with Fr Chuck and Talaniman in that you shouldn't worry about telling her your deep dark feelings. Talaniman has the idea... say hi, acknowledge a small detail about her or compliment her. For instance, you could say: What a cool watch! Can I have a closer look? If you can't think of anything like that or feel it's too personal for you there's always a comment about Christmas. "Have you started your Christmas shopping yet?" or "Do you find it distracting to have exams right around the Christmas season?"

Or, if you are feeling a little more daring you could try: "I love the way your smile lights up your face." or something like "That blue sweater really brings out the blue in your eyes."

Of course with the big exam coming up you could ask her if she'd mind getting together to study for the exam. The main thing is to acknowledge her! Once you do, the rest should fall into place. If you can enter into a conversation with her that can lead to something like "It's a shame we haven't had a chance to get to know each other better and now the classes are over. It sounds like we have a lot in common. Would you like to get together for a coffee, lunch or dinner sometime in the next few weeks?"

It's okay to be shy, but try not to feel inferior to other guys. Truth is, if you feel there is something special there you owe it to yourself to do something. If she says yes you will have other things to worry about. If she says no it will help you to let go and move on. Either way it's a learning experience and will lead you to finding that special someone one day. If you don't do it you will always wonder. Frankly, if you don't try, then she probably isn't as attractive to you as you think.

Imagine all the different things that could happen if you approach her to identify what it is you are really afraid of. It could be rejection or it could even be that she wants to go out with you, too! Identify it so you can deal with it. Shyness is usually based upon our own feelings of self-worth... or lack thereof. If you are critical of yourself you are probably critical of others and that's not attractive. You could always practice in front of a mirror or with a friend or family member you trust.

Challenge yourself. I guarantee you that once you start it will get much easier. Go for it! You have nothing to lose.

Then come back and let us know how it goes!

Hugs, Didi

DawnFang,

Welcome to this beautiful site, first!

Yes, tell her. Even as the word match is often used to describe the match, but most of the matches are mismatches, and here lies the spark of hope. She will, (you) believe. She may, I believe.
Yes, talk with her. Communication opens channels and fills the gaps and creates the bridges.

Good luck!

My suggestion is, just ask her out. Say hey want to grab a movie/cup of coffee/dinner sometime? And see what happens. If you are too shy to tell her how you feel, just start casual and see what develops! Good luck!

Several threads merged, a couple threads deleted. Please do not start several threads ( questions) on the same topic. If you have more info to add, answer your own question please.