PDA

View Full Version : Best friend/Ex Is this a toxic Relationship?


Alijah119
Nov 30, 2011, 05:58 PM
I met this girl I met on face book, we went to different schools but hers was right down the street from me. This girl was pretty and had a good personality, she was everything I ever wanted. We started hanging out, but she had other guys she was messing around first, I didn't know so when I found out I was depressed cause I felt she was leading me on, just to go with someone else.

I asked her to prom but she wanted to go as friends. I agreed. We had a good time I treated her well and we ended up going to bed together. She told only cause I was special. We wasn't together yet. Two days later we made it official but she wouldn't say I'm her boyfriend. A month goes by and the relationship was good. I treated her like a princess but she was also hanging with her first lover also but I didn't care because I understood their past and they were best friends.

But for one week straight she started hanging with him more than me. We plan stuff but she end up dissing me for him. One day she didn't call me I got worried and called her. I knew she with him and the first thing she told me was he's my strength. I was shocked. The next day we broke up. She didn't end up going back with her ex, which I thought she was going to do. We continued to hangout for like 4 months but during that time I asked her three times, would she go back with me again. All three times she said no. I stop asking. During this whole time we hanged out I kept getting stressed because I'll sacrifice my time for her and everything. She met more guys and was moving on. I stayed behind hoping we'll get back together. But I felt she was always putting me second for everybody.

We were like best friends we knew how each other get and how we can make each other feel better. Since we broke up we were never sexual active. I never put my business out there so my friends didn't know we broke up so they will see her and be like. Hey! We seen her with this guy. I would be like its OK we aren't together. She met her other best friend that surprised her and they end up hooking up together. While she was already with somebody else. I didn't approve and yelled at her that its wrong and you should break up if you want to be that way.

She did. Pretty much this is how she think. "If we don't do nothing its ok." meaning sexually. But she will let guys sleep over at her place when he's out of town cause she don't want to be lonely. I got to the point of keep telling her what's right or wrong to do in a relationship. I be like. She going to do what she want to do. She still manipulates me to this day by making me feel bad. I believe in karma. A lot of bad things happen to her but I don't be in her face about you thinks its happening to her.

But I feel stressed to be a best friend even though she states she can't talk to anyone else except me.

Should I break her off for good. We barely talk cause she got a boy friend like every two days. I try to respect him. I can't look her boyfriend in the face cause I know so much. What should I do?

talaniman
Dec 1, 2011, 02:12 PM
Stop seeing her as a best friend and stop taking her crap, or listen to her as just a friend and say your peace, and let her do as she pleases. Because she is foolish does that mean you have to be? Then don't let what she does with her life affect you. You have no control over what she does, so enjoy your own life, and stay out of her business.

If you cannot deal with having this person as a friend, then get busy with doing your thing and unavailable for their nonsense.

vanheart
Dec 1, 2011, 04:23 PM
Don't be any girl's puppy dog. That's exactly what you did.

I wouldn't be her friend either. Including FB.

mmresd
Dec 1, 2011, 06:56 PM
You need to break off your leash, never contact her again, and move on. She is using you when she needs you and puts you away whenever she doesn't, that is not a friend. Leave her alone, and go do something worth your while.

Alijah119
Dec 6, 2011, 02:59 PM
Everything you have said I thought that. Meeting her taught me a lot. I told myself I'm glad it happen in this relationship now, so I know what to do in the future.

vanheart
Dec 6, 2011, 03:04 PM
Good. Keep that up.