View Full Version : Best relationship?
nooor
Nov 30, 2011, 11:18 AM
I'm very confused, and worry about the fact that relationships can't survive much now-a-days. People got break-up after few months or a year.
Can a relationship survives for a couple of years? And can it be transformed into marriage happily? What are the conditions for such a true relationship?
Help please!
talaniman
Nov 30, 2011, 04:40 PM
Don't start a relationship with a stranger, date and get to know who it is you give your heart to, and see if they know what to do with it. Don't be so in love you depend on a person to be happy with yourself, or your life, and NEVER think you need some one to be happy.
Date with no commitment for 6 months, and have a happy healthy life without dating. Date many, get stuck on none. Take your time, and pay attention, and always keep your dignity, and self respect.
NEVER worry about what others are doing, always do your own thing, and do what's right for you.
That's a start. You will have many dates and relationships, some good, some NOT, but have fun, and don't be in a hurry.
nooor
Nov 30, 2011, 11:03 PM
See,I'm in relationship with one of my second cousin since last month.. we both are serious about it and sincere with it as well.he is my best friend as well.
We have just started our MBBS,so our relationship has to survive for a long period of 5 or 6 years,then we will be able to change it to marriage relationship actually.
We belong to a muslim family,so,we have decided to take it as friendship,no romance,dating and things like that.just sharing,help,understanding,respect,honesty is the backbone of our relation.
I'm just afraid that it may losses its charm as the duration is very long!
Tell me how to keep it in balance.we are studying in two different cities,how much time I should give to conversation,daily or twice or thrice in a week ?
I want to know how can I make it attractive without that romantic stuff as we have to follow our religion ? Do you think it can survive for that long period if we are truly sincere ?
talaniman
Dec 1, 2011, 11:34 AM
No matter the obstacles, or what life throws at you, how well you deal with it together is what will decide how long it can last.
Setting the pattern is your ability to work together through those obstacles, and define the way you move forward. That takes HONEST COMMUNICATIONS between you. You MUST talk, and listen, to make a plan of action you both can deal with.
How often is he wanting the contact long distance? See you must know what the other wants and make the right adjustments that you BOTH can agree on.
6 years is a long time to maintain a relationship. Especially, a long distance one. Many things can happen in a year, let alone 6. Sincerity may not be an issue, but frustration, may be a bigger one.
The harder the task, the more communications is needed, and a willingness to communicate. If you want specific things you can do, talk with HIM!
nooor
Dec 1, 2011, 11:53 AM
We are bestfriends,communicate well,we both cares for each other...
Our relation is moving ahead with ease yet,it is all about friend communication with a touch of care,but no romance at all.. actually,all ma friends used to say,no relationship can last long,but I really don't think so,if we are sincere,it will..
My first experience,as well as his!
Will you help me to get through it successfully ?can I seek your help or guidance ?
We both will be Doctors in about five years "InshAllah" then we will take that step of marriage,as we decided... plz tell me some points to maintain it up and healthy ?
You said frustration,frustration about what ?
talaniman
Dec 1, 2011, 12:38 PM
Frustrations about not being together, hugging, holding through hard times, homesick, you know, the human contact stuff we all love to have. Company in alone times, and when you want fun. Its frustrating, and time will make it harder, not easier.
Even harder is handling yearnings for other humans, handling our own feelings of fear, and insecurity. If you have never experienced something its easy to be confused and overwhelmed. Who would not be?
Of course we will try to help and support you through this, You and your fellow, should he need it. That's why we are here.
Just for my own information, how does your family, and his feel about 2nd cousins marrying??
nooor
Dec 1, 2011, 10:56 PM
Both families want us to get our aims first then we can do,this is a general concept!
As I belong to a Muslim family,where a man's family send proposal,he asked me he will after completing his degree .no one else does know about our relation,we have some restrictions,limits and rules to follow being Muslims.We both have decided to get our destiny by holding religion.
See,we do conversation daily for about 1 hour .but we never cross limits,this is all about fun,understanding,friendship,caring,sharing,a little bit fight in fun then apologizing :)
Tell me some points to make it healthy ?
talaniman
Dec 1, 2011, 11:11 PM
Keep doing what your doing, and stay on the path of Good Orderly Direction, its seems to be working quite well so why change it?
nooor
Dec 2, 2011, 01:32 AM
Not change actually,but I want it to be strong enough to face the issues if they come..
Just want some tips to do so,as I haven't experience of being in relationship :)
nooor
Jan 5, 2012, 03:59 AM
@talaniman
I'm confused what to do ?
One of my cousin has friendship with the person I'm in relation with.
I often feel jealous,I trust him but don't know about her.
talaniman
Jan 5, 2012, 07:37 AM
How old are you both, and is this your first relationship? Tell me how you come to know of this friendship with your cousin? How old is she?