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View Full Version : A friend who gets on my nerves.


MinorAngelina
Nov 30, 2011, 11:02 AM
I have this who gets on my nerves a bit, and I'm not sure how to handle it, because I really care for her as a very close friend.

She's paranoid and a tad judgmental when you don't have the same paranoia. She has this slight obsession with things making you sick and being unhealthy and such. I mean, I don't eat animal products because of all the growth hormones and I just don't like the idea of eating from a living things. She'll criticize the choice, say how easy it is to be an obsessed vegan, and such, while she obsesses over things she calls poison like:
-Non stick pans
-Aerosol cans
-Artificial sweeteners
-non-organic potatoes, or most other fruits/veggies
-Any form of Mushrooms
- many more things (Which she will be appalled if she sees me using)

She's also got a double standard thing going on that gets on my nerves. Like, we both lost a considerable amount of weight since about 3 years ago, and we were sharing our "fat photos". We looked about the same weight in the photos, but she looks at mine and says "WOW, I NEVER got THAT bad, that's GROSS!". Then we had Thanksgiving at her house and I made an apple pie, she made a pumpkin. My husband said her's was gross, and mine was awesome, but of course him and I both agreed to be nice and say it was good. So, a few days later we start talking about the pies. I said Hers was good, and she says "Good, because yours had this funky taste, and the crust wasn't right, and..." well, you get the point.
It goes into little things too, like, we go to coffee bean and sometimes I bring my cup from another store to get a refill. Well, if I get a certain lid, she says it's a ghetto lid, and when she gets that lid, she says it's the new one. And she says it all the time.

Here's the thing. I'm originally from Sacramento, CA, moved to LA a few years ago. Working Retail is completely different, because the people from LA are so mean, including coworkers. So, I've learned to keep to myself more. Well, when we get coffee bean, sometimes the girls are really rude, and I thought it was weird, so I asked if she noticed. She says I'm trying to be nice, but I'm really fake. Then I swear, no more than an hour later, she says how she'd flirt with guys to make a sale, and suck up to old rich people to get them to buy more. So that's not fake at all?

I mean, we have such different opinions, and we used to brag how our friendship, with a liberal and conservative could get put our differences aside and be friends. But in the last month especially, I felt like she's been such a bully. Like she puts me down to make herself feel better.

I understand I have to talk about it with her, I just want to know how I should bring it up and what should I say..
Thanks for reading! :)

Exodusliberty
Nov 30, 2011, 11:41 AM
MMMM spend some time away from her she seems to be an unheathy relation in your life bringing you down bieng to critical. That's what I would do

Aurora_Bell
Dec 1, 2011, 07:07 AM
I agree, time to break apart. I would just stop hanging out with her, and when she asks why, say something like "I didn't think you wanted to be friends with someone so fake and who uses ghetto lids for her coffee". THis woman sounds like friends I had when I was 13! Time for her to grow up. I know it's hard making friends in new places, but anyone, even the homeless man down the road seems more worthy of friendship than her! Just get involved in other things, you'll be too busy to miss her or care what her opinion is!

MinorAngelina
Dec 1, 2011, 01:35 PM
Now that you mention it, her behavior does resemble a young teenager. I guess her being 27 doesn't mean she'll act her age.. Thanks for the advice.

Aurora_Bell
Dec 1, 2011, 02:37 PM
No problem! I hope she sees what a twit she really is!