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View Full Version : I keep lying and I need to stop


skippy77
Nov 28, 2011, 06:31 AM
I keep lying about the smallist things and it has cost me the love of my life

JudyKayTee
Nov 28, 2011, 06:35 AM
- so why do you lie? To make yourself look better, feel better? To make yourself more than you are?

How did you lose the "love of your life"?

skippy77
Nov 28, 2011, 06:57 AM
I'm not sure most of the time I don't even know that I'm doing it. If I had to say one it would be to myself look better to others

DaniCalifornia
Nov 28, 2011, 06:58 AM
I'm the opposite, I never lie. I've lied once recently, and that was telling the woman that did my nails that they looked good (When she didn't even repair my broken one)

Why do you feel the need to lie? I, myself am a fan of honesty. I'd rather be told my arse looks big in a pair of pants, so that I don't spend my money on them!

X Dani

skippy77
Nov 28, 2011, 07:04 AM
I don't know I really wish I could put my finger on it. I don't mean to lie and really try not to. But I do. I just want to stop and will try anythig but money is a problem.

Awake
Nov 28, 2011, 09:04 AM
I hate to hear this.. I am against lying because I have seen the damage it has done to good relationships. I was in a relationship with a guy who said the same thing about me. He lied to me about everything because he said it was just a habit and he couldn't stop. He was never confident in himself and seemed to get himself in trouble so he would lie to make himself look better or save his behind. Our relationship was built on lies and needless to say, it was doomed to fail. I stayed with him for almost a decade! Unfortunately, he cheated so it was my ultimate decision to leave, but I have never stopped being there for him. When I was with him, I supported him and helped him through everything. He seemed to lie a lot less so I would say you need to open up to someone you can trust and will be there with you. It seems that this is getting in the way of living a normal life? No money? Start a journal and write everything down.. Reread what you wrote and you should have an idea what is going on underneath it all. You don't want to lose another relationship over something like this. I have seen good guys turn into lonely alcoholics because of lying.. Be honest with yourself and others around you and you will go much further, I promise. I wish you the best of luck!

joypulv
Nov 28, 2011, 09:20 AM
First accept that we all lie. We are taught to lie (nice gift, good dinner, you look great, I'm sure you will be better soon, Santa was here). As kids we quickly learn to deny things or blame someone else, almost without having to see someone else do it, as though it's an instinctive part of survival (it really isn't). How much we lie after that depends partly on what we heard growing up, and partly on our feelings of inadequacy. Most of us lie to ourselves in fantasies (being rich, beautiful, famous) and some of it spills over into our daily lives. We also lie about the past, making it better or worse than it was.

Chronic lying might need therapy. If you can't afford it, look for free groups around town such as in churches and schools. It doesn't have to be a liars group.
But the shock of losing the love of your life should do wonders to cure you. I agree that it's time to take stock of your life in terms of how good you feel about it. Try making a list: your good attributes on one side and faults on the other. Then think, think, think.

JudyKayTee
Nov 28, 2011, 02:36 PM
I dont know I realy wish I could put my finger on it. I dont mean to lie and realy try not to. but I do. I just want to stop and will try anythig but money is a problem.


I wouldn't beat yourself up over this. How about if you try to go, say, for one entire day being 100% truthful in all areas of your life?

It's easy to tell a lie and not hurt people (or whatever) but maybe if you set your mind to it -