noonesperfect
Nov 23, 2011, 02:06 PM
All right so I know you've all heard this question before but I want my own details to try and help my own situation.
Anyway I'm a typical smotherer, I basically have to be with my girlfriend all the time. I'm 18 and she is 21, we have been together for just over a year and on our good days, we put other couples to shame with how happy we are. At about our six month point I noticed a change, and this change happened for a couple of months, she was constantly ignoring me and would get mad at me even if I just asked what was wrong.
Near the end of this struggle she told me that a recent fling was coming back to the province since he was with the fair, and that she was going home so that she could go to the fair with her family, but that is why she had been acting so strange and she felt awful for what she did, I could tell that she actually did feel awful by how she was trying to comfort me.
Anyway! I let her go that weekend to figure out if she still had anything for him and when she came back she was more loving than ever and she knew that she screwed up, but that's not something that I just feel like getting over, it was an awful experience and I'm still hurt by it. Ever since this has happened I haven't wanted her to leave my sights, its not a trust issue, it's a "she's just too amazing :)" issue.
So for a while there I WAS kind of a controlling jerk, which has been the problem, and one night we were planning to hangout at home like usual after I was done work but she wasn't there, I thought maybe I should wait there in case she had to stay longer at work, but I then saw a car of a guy that she has been hanging out with, and she was in it.. So we pulled over and me and her had the usual argument of her having no freedom and me being obsessive.
After this happened I lost even more trust, unfortunately it was at the point where I checked her texts and even saw that she had been deleting texts from the same guy. I know she had no feelings for him but it still hurts and she only deleted the texts to protect my feelings. But anyway now I'm a controlling obsessive jerk, we've agreed that she will have one night to herself a week which is what she has asked for, but so far its been more than once a week.
I love her dearly and we want this to work, but I feel like she has everything and its not good enough. I know what I need to do I've read all the other threads like this and I need to give her space, but I just need opinions on the situation, there's more to the story but I've written enough of a novel!
Anyway I'm a typical smotherer, I basically have to be with my girlfriend all the time. I'm 18 and she is 21, we have been together for just over a year and on our good days, we put other couples to shame with how happy we are. At about our six month point I noticed a change, and this change happened for a couple of months, she was constantly ignoring me and would get mad at me even if I just asked what was wrong.
Near the end of this struggle she told me that a recent fling was coming back to the province since he was with the fair, and that she was going home so that she could go to the fair with her family, but that is why she had been acting so strange and she felt awful for what she did, I could tell that she actually did feel awful by how she was trying to comfort me.
Anyway! I let her go that weekend to figure out if she still had anything for him and when she came back she was more loving than ever and she knew that she screwed up, but that's not something that I just feel like getting over, it was an awful experience and I'm still hurt by it. Ever since this has happened I haven't wanted her to leave my sights, its not a trust issue, it's a "she's just too amazing :)" issue.
So for a while there I WAS kind of a controlling jerk, which has been the problem, and one night we were planning to hangout at home like usual after I was done work but she wasn't there, I thought maybe I should wait there in case she had to stay longer at work, but I then saw a car of a guy that she has been hanging out with, and she was in it.. So we pulled over and me and her had the usual argument of her having no freedom and me being obsessive.
After this happened I lost even more trust, unfortunately it was at the point where I checked her texts and even saw that she had been deleting texts from the same guy. I know she had no feelings for him but it still hurts and she only deleted the texts to protect my feelings. But anyway now I'm a controlling obsessive jerk, we've agreed that she will have one night to herself a week which is what she has asked for, but so far its been more than once a week.
I love her dearly and we want this to work, but I feel like she has everything and its not good enough. I know what I need to do I've read all the other threads like this and I need to give her space, but I just need opinions on the situation, there's more to the story but I've written enough of a novel!