smilin_njyo
Nov 21, 2011, 04:54 PM
I have been with my husband for over 6 years now, we have had our ups and downs just like any other relationship. However, in 2008 he committed a crime and now has a criminal backround. Despite the incident he was still able to keep his job. In 2010, I received an offer from my job with one stipulation--it was in another state. My husband and I spoke about the positives and negatives of me accepting this job offer. Our biggest concern was how he was going to get another job being that he has a record. We agreed before I accepted the job that it would be a big challenge but we agreed that accepting this new job would put us in a better financial situation and open up opportunities for my career.
It has now been 20 months since the move and my husband has failed to attain any type of employment let alone APPLY for any jobs. I understand the struggles of trying to get a job especially with a record and the hardships which come along with trying to explain to an employer why you have a felony. However, my husband has not even TRIED to apply for a job or even schooling. I have tried effortlessly to encourage and build him up so that he doesn't give up on himself or feel as though I am nagging. But, what am I suppose to do? It is getting difficult for me because I can feel myself starting to look at him in a different light because he has given up on himself. He is by no means a bad husband, he doesn't abuse me mentally/physically.
You may ask what he does with his time, well he plays video games most of the time and helps me with the daily chores when I ask him for his help. He will admit that he is lazy but it gets frustrating when I work from 6:30am-5pm, come home and cook than clean and make sure all our bills get paid on time. The list goes on but I really am trying to focus on the POSITIVE things in our relationship, but it is getting hard to see through all the b******. I am starting to question whether this is the same man I met and married 6 years ago. I love him dearly I just am not sure if I cann continue living with this man, he doesn't seem to have any ambitions or goals for himself anymore and I am getting restless with trying to help a 28 year old grown man 'find' himself. Im starting to feel like I am taking care of a kid instead of building a relationship with my husband.
Any advice is appreciated, sorry this is long I have just been needing some help for so long!
It has now been 20 months since the move and my husband has failed to attain any type of employment let alone APPLY for any jobs. I understand the struggles of trying to get a job especially with a record and the hardships which come along with trying to explain to an employer why you have a felony. However, my husband has not even TRIED to apply for a job or even schooling. I have tried effortlessly to encourage and build him up so that he doesn't give up on himself or feel as though I am nagging. But, what am I suppose to do? It is getting difficult for me because I can feel myself starting to look at him in a different light because he has given up on himself. He is by no means a bad husband, he doesn't abuse me mentally/physically.
You may ask what he does with his time, well he plays video games most of the time and helps me with the daily chores when I ask him for his help. He will admit that he is lazy but it gets frustrating when I work from 6:30am-5pm, come home and cook than clean and make sure all our bills get paid on time. The list goes on but I really am trying to focus on the POSITIVE things in our relationship, but it is getting hard to see through all the b******. I am starting to question whether this is the same man I met and married 6 years ago. I love him dearly I just am not sure if I cann continue living with this man, he doesn't seem to have any ambitions or goals for himself anymore and I am getting restless with trying to help a 28 year old grown man 'find' himself. Im starting to feel like I am taking care of a kid instead of building a relationship with my husband.
Any advice is appreciated, sorry this is long I have just been needing some help for so long!