View Full Version : My Best Friend is dating my ex and I still love him so much. What do I do?
MissDancerAng
Nov 21, 2011, 03:11 PM
My best friend in the world is dating the guy I had my first kiss with. We were together for a very long time. We have had an on and off relationship. 1 week ago he broke up with me and 4 days later he asked out my best friend and she said yes. She knew that I still had little feelings for him, I never told her but we are best friends. She can just tell. We know each other like that.
Anyway, He knows that I still have feelings for him and no matter how many times I tell him he says he "loves" my best friend now. No matter how many times I tell my best friends... She doesn't care, she is happy and that's all she cares about. She told me she has actually liked him the whole time I was dating him but she never told anyone which hurt me any more because she kept a secret from me. Best friends don't do that to each other. No body likes her and my ex as a couple but she doesn't care.
I love him so much but she just acts like everything is normal. They hug in front of me and she tells me how much she loves him and reads the little love texts he sends right out loud like it won't have an effect on me. I was trying to get over him but if they keep dating I am forced to be near him all the time and even worse have to get along with him and act like everything is OK (when its not) and act like its all good and normal.
This is tearing me apart and now all me and my best friend can do is fight. I don't want to lose my best friend over a guy. I want to stop liking this guy but I can't let go. I love him so much and that won't change. She even has the nerve to ask me why I can't just be happy for her. This is driving me crazy and I really need help as soon as possible before I go insane. I love this guy but I don't want to lose my best friend...
cdat87
Nov 21, 2011, 03:33 PM
You should try avoiding her for a few weeks. I have personally never met a couple where the ex boyfriend (or girlfriend) dates their ex's best friend and the couple lasted more than a few months.
If you really don't want to stop talking to your friend you could try telling her that you don't want to talk about him, at least not for a little bit.
MissDancerAng
Nov 21, 2011, 04:05 PM
cdat87
Thank you so much :) That is very helpful advice. I think I will try talking to her and tell her I don't want to hear about her and my ex. If she doesn't show that she is going to stop by Wednesday then I will avoid her and not talk to her for 2 weeks. I have other friends I could hangout with that wouldn't do that to me. Its kind of creepy... We think alike a bit (me and you) because when I see My best friend and my ex, I see fail! So does everyone else, my ex can't stay committed very well, There is a 1 year age difference too. I think he is dating her to piss her ex off (who he as a problem with... differend story) to piss me off (his ex) and he has striked out with everyone is his grade so he is going for someone in the younger grade. :P
DoulaLC
Nov 21, 2011, 04:09 PM
I think you may need to consider getting a new best friend if you don't feel she will be more understanding of how you are feeling. Speak to her about it and see what her response is.
As cdat87 said, you may need to cut down on the time you spend with her, at least until you have had time to get over your break-up. She wants you to be happy for her, but she needs to understand what you are going through.
Tell her that you think of her as your best friend, but that this is too hard for you right now. If she continues to think only of herself, find a new group of friends to spend time with. In time, when they are no longer together (which will likely be what happens), the two of you may become good friends again.
mayziirox
Dec 5, 2011, 07:45 PM
The same thing happened to me except I didn't tell anyone that I liked him still and I had to listen to them saying that they loved each other and watch them kiss in front of me and I had to pretend like I was OK with it but I the inside I was falling apart, crying myself to sleep every night that is until I saw this poem online it said: To all the broken harted girls. Forget him. I know its not that easy but you have to. He let you go, its not your loss, its his. So knock off the sobbing, crying and tears. Remember, no guy is worth crying over. Stop listening to sad song and listen to upbeat songs then sing them in the shower. Have a girls night out. Watch movies, do makeovers, that should get him out of your mind. Do not mention him the whole night, if you do then I will just bring you to tears and it will ruin your night. And one day you prince charming will come. Don't wait your time searching, love will find you. Be Strong!
Homegirl 50
Dec 5, 2011, 08:49 PM
I'd stay away from both of them.
They both sound pretty self centered.
EJx
May 28, 2012, 04:55 AM
Hey I know how you feel I at this very time my ex broke it of and 4 weeks later he asked my best friend out she called me on Sunday and told me that this girl called serena is going to rub it in my face about how ashleigh (her) and anthony (him) are going out I started to cry and hung up I screamed so loud that when I called her back I could barly talk. On Monday it was worse she asked me to give him her number so I did it but then the bell went so we lined up and I said are you my best friend when every one was around she shook her head and I saw through the window so I got real angrey and pushed her away then she tried to tell me it was a joke but I was so angrey about how she stole the guy I love and said that we wernt friends so I slaped her across the face and she got her nails and scratched me across the tummy and now I have a the biggest scare in the world so I walked of tell who would think that that's OK and tomorrow we have to dance with a boy and he is going to pick her I feel like
louise1928
May 28, 2012, 01:36 PM
Your best friend can't be a very good one, I'm 14 and my best friends and I would never date an ex. Our number 1 rule is sisters before misters. I would never want to put my friends through the kind of pain I know your feeling. But if your friend likes this guy as much as you do then maybe you should stay away for a while fid somebody else to love. Your best friend should have at least waited abit a longer before going out with him.
Ruby100
May 29, 2012, 01:18 PM
You should respect your best friend for not trying to steal him why you were dating him she had to leave her happinies and see to yours all you just have to do is to let her have her Happiness and go find yours don't sulk please go look for someone else because if he really likes you he would not hurt you knowingly + its not your friends fault because she doesn't know that you still like him