Hey, my girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years now and we have had our problems like normal couples. A few weeks ago she told me that she need space to figure things out, she also said that I need to grow up and be a man and that she wanted me to leave for awhile, but she wanted to see if I changed like I said I would. But I never did and she asked me again to leave for awhile so Friday I left to go stay with my dad.

Before I left we talked and she told me that she loved me but the spark was gone. She told me that I need to prove to her that I could get up for work and go and not be late or miss anytime. I have had 10 jobs and been unemployed 3 times in the time we have been together. She also said that I need to stop arguing with her daughter that is 9 and turning 10 on December 29. I said that I would but she still wanted me to leave because she didn't think I could do it there. So also said that some one had been asking her out for 3 months and she kept saying no. But she told me that he had gotten her a jersey, a tanning package, flowers and wrote letters that said thanks for being there and always listening to him.

She went to dinner with him one night but she told me. I asked her is she had feelings for him and she said a little. She said that nothing happen between them and she does plan on being boyfriend and girlfriend with him but said if he asked to go to dinner or a movie she will go. She told me that his guy has a crazy ex wife and he has some issues and she can and can't see her self with him. I will admit that I have told her before that I would change and haven't. But I can't believe that she had to go to eat with another guy for me to see that I could really lose her and I need to change and prove that I can change. She also told me that she doesn't love her self and love others if she don't love her self.

I told her that I wasn't doing this for her, that I was doing this for myself. Thursday night we talked and as we were talking about this issues we had she said I think I'm going to get sick and she went to the bathroom and did. I've taken that as she really wants it to work out between us. But before that happen I ask her if our relationship could be saved and she said I hope and I also asked how long she hope it would take for me to come back and she said hopefully a week or two.

We both have said that its been 6 years just to throw it away and not try to make it work. We plan on going to a holiday parade that daughter is in together and I'm coming over for thanksgiving to. I really love her and I know she really loves me and just needs space, but it still really hurts and sucks that its come to this. I have faith on our relationship and fixing it. I really hope it does work out. I also asked her if this was just a way to break up with me and she said no, then I asked if the reason she wasn't wanting to boyfriend and girlfriend with the other guy was because she want to see if our relationship could be fix. I asked her if I should just stop talking and leave her alone and she said no I would like to see how your day at work was and how you have been. I asked her if we could go to dinner on December 9 to talk and see if I could come back and she said yes but if I have missed anytime, called in or went home sick from work then no I can't come back.

I love her and her daughter some much, I have been there for her daughter for 6 years when her dad wasn't there and would only see her on holidays, so I feel like she is my daughter. My girlfriend said that she does hope we fix this and the spark comes back. I just really want this to work out and be with her, I love her so f***ING much that I'm sick to my stomach right know just talking about it but I don't know if that is stress for this or if its my gut telling me its over. I just want it to work out and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work.

I just need some advice about what should I do, if I'm doing the right thing by giving her space and if our relationship is save able and if I should keep trying. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME FIGURE IF I'M WASTING MY TIME OR IF I SHOULD JUST DO WHAT SHE ASKED AND PROVE I CAN DO WHAT I SAID I CAN DO WHICH IS GROW UP, BE A MAN, GO TO WORK EVERYDAY, AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME OUT AND PLEASE DON'T SUGAR COAT IT BE HONEST WITH ME ON WHAT TO DO. O yeah I for got to say that I'm 24 and she is 31.

Adding to my own question. And every time the we talked before I left she cried and said that this hard on her to and she has never done this before and that its been 6 years and what's it to work but doesn't know what she wants. I think with her crying every time we talk about it and with her getting sick she really wants it to work out. Am I reading that wrong please someone help me.

I am sorry that you are going through this.

Personally, I think she should not have accepted the gifts from this other man. A card showing his thanks, fine, but the gifts she should have thanked him but said that she couldn't accept them. Since he had been asking her out for a few months, he obviously has more intentions than just being a friend.

That she has shared with you that she has some feelings for him, is just one more reason that she should back off from spending time with him. You don't date someone else if you are in a relationship... period. Her going out with him when he asks, knowing he has feelings for her, only will cause him to believe he has a chance of it leading to more. That is a dangerous situation, especially since she has some feelings as well.

Her focus right now should be on deciding what she wants to do in the relationship that the two of you have together. Having someone potentially on the sidelines only clouds her thinking even more.

She has a number of things that she would like you to change, but what is she going to change as well? There are two of you in this relationship. The two of you working together is what is necessary to make it better.

Have you been living together for those 6 years? Is it her home or one you moved into together? Does she expect you to treat her daughter as though you are her father? To help support her, take care of her, etc. If so, then you should have a say in her discipline.

I have to wonder what she will be doing in that week or two while you are out? A day or two away, to let things settle, should have been the most, if any. The two of you need to be talking about this together. If you had been married, would she ask you to leave for a week or two?

I think it would have been better if the two of you had gone away for some time together to be able to discuss things, have time to yourselves, away from work and such. Have some fun together, do things you enjoy together. That may help the spark. You can still each have some quiet time to yourselves to think about things on your own, but then you come back together and work on the relationship together.

Another option may be suggesting couples counseling. It can sometimes help to have someone who is not involved to help you both see some things differently and give you some suggestions on how to better communicate.

Thanks man that help a little. I just don't know what I should do

Harshness warning

You young Dumb a$$!! What part of go to work like a man and not yell at her child is it you don't understand? Now get a job, go to work, and take proper care of your family and quit with the emo punk boy crap. Show her with actions and no begging that you are changed, and serious, and she will take you back with open arms, and if you DON'T she will get a real man, and tell you to screw yourself.

I would have dumped your lazy a$$ years ago, so count your lucky stars you have a chance, because you don't deserve one. Now get off your A$$ and get to work and quit whining like a big baby. Or stay home and let you mommy and daddy wipe your BOOBOO!!