View Full Version : Is it worth it? Or should I give up?
RoseSkyLilly
Nov 17, 2011, 08:40 PM
I honestly don't know what to think, or do anymore. My boyfriend and I fight every time were together, or even talk. We've broken up and then got back together so many times I've lost count. My sister thinks he's a controlling jerk, just because he tells me what I should and should not do, I don't think I can be with him anymore. Even though I know he's just looking out for me. He loves me. He may not be the nicest person, but he can be sometimes. I want to leave him. I've been wanting to for a while. But, I just can't. I don't know why. I've tried, but at the same time I want to be with him. I don't understand...
Cat1864
Nov 17, 2011, 09:17 PM
Rose, I am now confused. You have a boyfriend and have been in a relationship, but you asked us about whether it was legal or not for a 31 year old to date a 15 year old (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/legal-612443.html#post2949115 ) and didn't mention you were already in a relationship. What exactly is going on?
If your sister doesn't approve of this person (assuming it isn't the 31 year old), what does she think of the 31 year old who is her friend? I ask because it will give me a better idea of her personal standards.
You're 15 and just learning about relationships. Love is not controlling someone under the guise of 'looking out' for them. A relationship may have ups and downs but it should overall enhance the positives feelings you have for yourself and the other person. If you feel worse or the relationship is more negative than positive, you should get out and stay out of it. If at all possible have absolutely no contact with your ex. By not having contact or limiting it to school and non-personal interactions, you give yourself time and space to let go and heal. Trying to stay friends or in contact creates confusion. It still takes time to heal, but if you keep yourself busy with school and other friends, it does go faster.
Whatever you do, don't try to hold on to this person until a 'better' one comes along. You need to have time to let go of one relationship and emotions from it before you move on to a new one.
Take care of yourself and good luck.
RoseSkyLilly
Nov 17, 2011, 10:05 PM
Yes I have a boyfriend. I didn't tell him about the 31 year old. And I asked about the dating thing, because I was just curious. And I suppose I should end it with my boyfriend...
I just don't want him to kill himself. Last time I tried to leave him, he threatened to do that, so I didn't do it...
talaniman
Nov 18, 2011, 08:42 AM
It's a lousy relationship when you have to threaten harm to keep someone. That's in no way love, nor is it healthy.
At 15, no one should be controlling, or threatening you, and having a boyfriend is about fun, not arguments.
The best thing you could do is dump this guy and have fun with a happy healthy guy.
Your parents didn't raise you to be a slave, or pet, and that's not what you want for yourself, and probably why you argue with this manipulative, immature, insecure little boy.
Dump him ASAP!
RoseSkyLilly
Nov 18, 2011, 01:59 PM
Yeah your probably right.
I just want to wait for the right moment though.
And thank you guys, so much for all the help, I really appreciate it :)