My fiancŽ and I have been dating for three years, we got into a heated disagrement. I was recovery from surgery due to cancer so I was very emotional. Because of me being upset, out of anger I sent him my engagement ring back with a note saying, "keep this ring until I can become a priority in your life." After he received the ring he went with out calling me for a week. I was hurt, because I felt it should have gotten his attention so we could have talked about our problem. I figured I hurt him by sending the ring back, so I surprised him and went to visit (he lives in another state). When I got to his home, he was at work and I found condom wrappers in his bedroom. I was floored, upset, hurt, shocked, disappointed, etc. His reasoning was he was upset, confused and thought I was ending our relationship. I felt he should have at least tried to understand what was going on with me before he made such a rash decision of having sex with another woman. He shattered all the trust I've had with him and continue to wonder, if we have major problems in the future, will he turn to another woman rather than trying to work things out with me? I love him and trying to understand his reasoning, but thoughts of him betraying me is clouding all of my judgements. He seem to be remorseful and seem to be working to try and make things better, but it's really hard for me. I want us to reconcile and he seems to be
Putting effort, but I'm not sure about what I should do. When I go into his home I am not comfortable knowing some other woman was having sex with my fiancŽ in our bed. It's been a month now and I know time will eventually heal all pain, but I'm not sure if I can completely forgive
Him. He told me the affair meant nothing and that he made a huge mistake and he knows he has to pay for it, that he loves me and no one else. I'm not sure if I even believe that anymore. Any advice?

I am so sorry for what happened to you. I am a forgiven person and guess what all men I had misused me. My boyfriend hided me from his friends (some girls) in Facebook and I forgave him but later he broke up with me, cause he is cheater and I didn't want to believe that. You were sick and he shouldn't do that to you. I don't agree with what he did. If he really loved you he would try to make you feel better and help you when you were fighting for your life not just get confused and have sex with someone else.
My friend, you can't ever forget that when you were suffering he had fun with someone else in your bed. Its hard to leave someone when you love him, but if you marry him and it happens again, it will hurt you even more. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST , YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS . I am sure you will have somebody who never give up . Good luck

Believe him. He loves you. To be honest, I would have interpreted your sending the ring with that note as a break-up as well. He was probably just hurt and frustrated after that, and sometimes the attention someone new gives you when you're hurting helps your ego and helps you to feel comforted at first... but afterwards, you usually realize it means nothing. People make mistakes. I've been cheated on before too, and it definitely makes the relationship much more difficult, but if that real love is there... you guys can work it out.

I don't know what spurred you to send the ring back, although, based on the information you have provided, it seemed rather aggressive.

Nevertheless, he receives the ring and does not call you or visit in order to discuss this very aggressive gesture!? And then, within a week he's sleeping with another woman?!

Oh boy. You had the nerve to send the ring, maybe grow the nerve to see what may really be going on here. I think you give this guy wayyyy too much credit and I suspect this has been going on for some time now. Remember, you only saw the condoms the time you went to visit, which isn't very often.