View Full Version : 2 kids with two different men, whom do I choose?
Ellbeegee
Nov 14, 2011, 11:56 AM
I am a married mother of two, but my older daughter is from a previous relationship 5 years ago. Her father and I split up after only dating for two months, however we have always remained in contact and been good friends. 2 years ago I met another man and got pregnant. We were married and have been now for one year. My relationship with my husband has been full of ups and downs. He is a good man, but we have never had any intimacy. 7 months into our marriage we stopped sleeping in the same room, and we have from the time we got married rarely had sex.
The other night during a generic conversation with my ex about our daughter, he professed his love for me. I have always loved him (he rejected me in the past but claims he is older and wiser.) he knows I am married, but I was unhappy before this confession.
I know people always say do what is right for the kids, but my older daughter loves her dad AND her stepdad, and my son is only 8 months old.
Any helpful advice would be appreciated.
talaniman
Nov 14, 2011, 02:20 PM
Resolve your marriage issues is what I recommend. You don't say why nor how this marriage has turned the way it is but now is not the time to be distracted by the professing of "an older, wiser" ex.
You are older and wiser also, and no good comes from jumping from one baby daddy to another, when things get tough.
Better handle your business at home for now.
vanheart
Nov 14, 2011, 08:39 PM
I agree. The now.
Why you are with who you are with. Why are you?
"we have never had any intimacy"
Your decisions. No one else's.
You got into both.
You & your kids first.
Look smart from now on.
lesleybrooks
Nov 17, 2011, 07:49 AM
You don't belong with either of them,, at least not now. You need to reflect and do what is best for the kids and confusing them is not the answer. Stop being so needy and grow up.
Ellbeegee
Jan 23, 2012, 04:38 PM
I think sometimes the expectation of a person doesn't match up with who they are. My husband has become a different person since we married, argumentative, ignoring me and the kids, and staying late at work. These comments have been entirely unhelpful. I have decided that my daughters father and I didn't work out for a reason either, and I am currently working out a way to leave my husband. The only thing that would confuse my children is to have a miserable mother. So I make no apologies for wanting to be happy in my life and no one else should either. I would recommend not giving any more advice as you are all terrible at it.
talaniman
Jan 23, 2012, 04:46 PM
WOW, you resolved your issues by leaving and being a great mom without him.
I thought that's what we ALL said! My bad.
mmresd
Jan 23, 2012, 07:45 PM
Leaving your home, separating your kids from their dad/stepdad, and leaving your husband because need of intimacy. Great choice.
If you are willing to listen to ANY of these advice, pay attention to the following:
Use CONDOMS!