Please someone, any advice will help at this point. My husbands ex-wife has decided she no longer wants to "deal" so she called me and asked me if I would adopt her son, my step son. He is 6 yrs old and has lived w/ me and my husband for 3 yrs now. How do I tell him what his mom is doing w/ out breaking his little heart?? He is smart and will know something is going on when he no longer goes to her house on thursdays and every other weekend. How do I let him know that this isn't daddy's fault like she keeps telling him it is?? Please help!!

You, your step son and his father all need to sit down and talk together. I think it will make it easier if you sit all together to talk to him.

You may want to consider including someone the little guy loves and trusts besides you and your husband when telling him. He needs to feel without a doubt that none of this is HIS fault. He needs constant reasurring of both y'alls love and stabiltiy. Of course it's going to hurt him, but he needs to know it's OK for him to talk about it and still want his momma. Maybe he can write letters and such. Totally cutting him off from her probebly wouldn't be wise at this point, but then again you can't help what his momma decides to do. Hats off to you for stepping up to the plate and loving this little guy and being the momma he needs.

I agree that you should not speak to your step son alone - having your husband there is the right thing to do. There is no way to have the discussion without him being hurt - how to understand why a parent is no longer going to be in the picture is tough enough at any age. I hope you and your husband seek the wisdom of a counselor or pastor or child development specialist and ask for ideas on how best to approach this very delicate situation. It would be great if that person could help not only you and your husband but also your step son - being the buffer.

You sound like a very compassionate person who is only seeking this little boy's best good. Wishing you, your husband, and son the very best.