Hello

What is the points of hooking up or making out with a person? What is the POINT of it because I don't really get it.

The touching of lips is arousing for some people. Simply.

Is there anything you do, HHV, that makes you smile and feel happy and want to do more of? That's what making out is like for many people.

I don't personally agree with "hooking up" that is to my understanding random sex with people you just meet.
But it is done for the pleasure and fun of sex. Most people do enjoy the physical pleasure it brings. For most it comes from the emotional times of the relationship.

It makes you feel good for a little while, and its fun for most, not all but most.

Everything above, for you though there is no point in it... especially if you don't get it... so stay away from it and take care of yourself! Go YOU!!

That is very typical for someone with Asperger's, not understanding what the point is of kissing or making out or cuddling. My husband would rather go hiking or change the oil in his van.

That's sad being like that when everyone else 'gets it' though w.g.

Not everyone "gets it" HHV. You aren't the only one.

"Most" people 'get it.' u can't say they don't either because look around you mostly all the question post have to do with some cheating boyfriend or some girlfriend issues. Most people wants or are in relationship or w/e :(. Also a lot of peoples make a huge deal out of sex and its all around us everywhere we turn for a reason imo.

Well, let's see, I've been married for over 20 years now. Want to take a guess when the last time I "got it?" There is more to relationships than sex.

Do you watch TV a lot, HHV?

Yes I watch TV.

j9 that's what people say 'sex not a big deal' yet that is not what is baring out in the real world. If its not a big deal then why is people so obsessed with it then? You cannot deny that.

Is your idea of the real world what you see on TV? On reality shows and on soaps and on sitcoms?

LOL, people trying to sell you something, or keep your attention often use sex as a way to do this. Perfect hair, perfect skin, abs galore. You want to see real life, go to Wal Mart and see how real people look when they don't have an army of make up artists, and hair dressers following them around.

They seems so perfect, so they must have a perfect life, but upon deeper examination, the people in front of the camera, go from one pretty person to another looking for happiness. All that money and they still don't know what love, sex, and happiness is really about.

To bad reality takes years to learn, often the hard way, after many trials, and many errors.

And you won't learn those lessons on TV, in magazines, or from your friends.

w.g. I like to read, remember that's really only thing that make me happy and going to the thrift store. Do any of you like that? Can find some really neat stuff there, I go once weekly... as far as 'doing something that make you happy and you want to do more of it' as related to love/sexual then no, can't say I ever have this experience & very likely never will. Sigh. Its pathetic. I can only talk about material thing that makes me happpy nothing else.

Sometime it make me sick to my stomach when people talks about the 'physical pleasures' of sexuality :(. That's another indicator of being 'abnormal freak' -- because MOST people like it and everything.

as related to love/sexual then no, can't say i ever have this experience & very likely never will. sigh. its pathetic. i can only talk about material thing that makes me happpy nothing else.
The love/sex stuff takes up such a small part of anyone's day, if it takes up any of it at all. I suspect you've been watching too much TV or too many movies.

It's like my soap opera. Someone is always jumping into bed with someone else, and the women wear these spaghetti-strap cocktail dresses no matter where they are and what they are doing on the show. The cat never throws up hairballs and the baby never poops in his diaper and no one ever cooks a meal. There's no real life; it's all imaginary.

Just because people look happy and talk of how happy they are doesn't mean they are. Just because you are not in the mainstream of thinking or activities doesn't make you an abnormal freak either.

I think you are just at the time in your own life where you want to fit in and be happy, like everyone else, but also accepted for your own uniqueness. Don't worry about others so much, and what they seem to be doing bur focus more on what you are doing for yourself.

Your journey through life is all your own choosing as far as direction goes, but you have to focus on YOU being happy with yourself, and what you are doing. Look a bit further down the road, and see where you want to be in a few years. Actually visualize what you want to be involved in, and set a goal, and make a plan to get there.

Then what others do or say, will have a lot less impact, and influence on your own happiness.

I don't sees myself doing nothing different 5 year from now. There is nothing 'to see' IMO. And also I don't believes everything on TV either! I am just saying I get tired of how some people like to pretends none of it is a big deal even at my age they act like I am 18 or sometime. Obviously something not right if I am not even on the level with most peeers my age. Why some of you won't admit is ridiculous. Yes the people at walmart are not perfect but they have relationship they are there with their spouses and kids. So obviously they are normal.

No human is normal, we all have our own personal flaws. So forget about that normal crap, and do your own thing, and stop tripping on what others are doing, and thinking.

That's what's pointless. Focus on what you want to do and be.

OK well I don't have nothing to focus on. Don't know anything to pick. Social anxieties hold people back in life from doing almost everythign so what's the point anymore. I don't see none.

Then you have to be open to getting help for those social anxieties, and sticking with it. It takes time, often years for "normal" people to over come their personal issues, and start putting together a semblance of a normal, healthy, happy life. You have to just stick to it, and take baby steps until you are able to walk, then run to what you want.

The point is don't quit on yourself, keep going, slowly maybe, but steadily. That's how we all "GET IT". We have to keep going until we do. That's the point.

Heck, I paid a guy good money to tell me over, and over, I wasn't crazy, I just did crazy things. Well DUH, I use to tell him, so if I stopped doing crazy things then I wouldn't think I was crazy?

He said NO, You stop doing crazy things, then everybody else wouldn't think you are crazy. WHA!! In your case, you just have to learn, to be taught to do other things, and that takes time. Stick with it. As you say, you have nothing better to do, do you?

Tal,

Hey I llike this: 'He said NO, You stop doing crazy things, then everybody else wouldn't think you are crazy.' that made me LOL. How do you know what you want? I don't know nothing that I want really excepts the things I been saying like going on a date and having some man really say he likes me. People keep saying on here its not important but it is.

Instead of wanting/hoping for some guy to make you happy, or give you some attention, its really simple, love the person you see in the mirror every morning, tell them you love them, smile at them, and promise to be good to them.

If you do this every day, you will be looking to be good to YOURSELf, and make YOURSELF happy, until you have someone to share that happiness with.

That where love, life, and happiness starts with YOU. Through loving yourself, you will always be looking to make yourself happy.

That's the difference between enjoy your time, and having fun exploring the possibilities of your world, and settling for some loser who gives you enough attention to get your nose open. People who love themselves don't settle for just anything that comes along, and they enjoy themselves until the right thing comes around.

That what people mean when they say what others "get" doesn't matter. Because if you love yourself, then its YOUR world that matters.

Now go smile and tell the face in the mirror you love them, and I guarantee, if you smile at them, they will smile back. That's the way to start your day.

OK Tal but I think it all sound like a bunch of a 'new wave' hippy stuff. Also I feels its just a distraction from the real facts of living alone and having nobody but sigh all right if you say so. But I personaly don't see myself ever doing any of that stuff and taking it seriously because if its not really true can't say it.

My therapist she say just tells yourself these thing every day 'even if you don't believe them' and I think what a waste of time lying to yoursels but I don't get that but I just say all right to her.

LOL, hippies stuff? No way. It's a tried and true exercise in accepting yourself, changing thought patterns, and promoting positive self talk, so you can make changes in the way you cope with your situation.

Sometimes we have to fake it until we make it to get from obsessing on one thing, and letting it give us negative thoughts and reactions, to more positive outlooks to deal with our own feelings about ourselves.

I mean when you stop thinking and acting crazy, you have to replace it with something right? Why not some good orderly direction, and gratitude for an attitude, I mean that's what worked for me, and its no lie, just an attitude adjustment.

You would be surprised what a month or two of loving who you are will do for you. A good positive self image, and trust me, you can deal with any situation life throws at you, and you will know its okay to be alone, and never be lonely.

Its not new wave hippie stuff, nor a lie to yourself. It's a tool to use to cope with the crazy world we live in. And the CRAZY people in it, or we will be as crazy as THEY are. Won't WE?