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View Full Version : Should I still be with him?


kittybell
Nov 13, 2011, 04:01 PM
My ex or whatever he is to me now made a year a week ago. But he got jealous & thought I was talking to my friends and was avoiding him so he dumped me like I was garbage. It's happened before, he has anger issues and he called me a cu**, n*****, bi***, who**, sl**, and a liar. & I really wasn't talking to anyone but during our fight we kept calling me his ex gf's name and telling me that their better than me.He also said I was only good for sex, which crushed me. And I couldn't take it, he said he still loved me but will it be hard to just forget him? I shared so many secrets and I loved him with everything I had. I just don't want to feel like the whole year was a waste of time. I don't know what to do I've never been this heart broken.

DoulaLC
Nov 13, 2011, 04:21 PM
Personally I would let this one go... fast!

Consider it a year of learning what you will and will not put up with. A year of learning what love isn't. He has given you one example after another of how NOT to treat someone you claim to love. He has shown this is a pattern that will be repeated time and time again. Get out of it now. Your heart will heal and you will be stronger, and wiser, for it.

You will find someone who treats you better... much better.
You are better off on your own for awhile than to be with him.

Consider this... would you tell your best friend to stay with someone who called her such horrible names and treated her so poorly?

kittybell
Nov 13, 2011, 04:28 PM
@DoulaLC, thanks, you're right but I still love him. I feel so stupid for not seeing the real him that long ago.

DoulaLC
Nov 13, 2011, 04:56 PM
You aren't the first to ignore red flags because you loved someone... :)

You can love someone but that doesn't mean they are a good partner to be with.

Be careful too that you aren't more in love with the idea of being "in love" and having someone who cares about you, at least part of the time. Maybe you have stayed because you thought, or hoped, that he would change. That somehow the next time it would be different. He has shown that isn't the case.

He may have some traits that are nice, that you like, that draw you to him, but the negative traits he shows are too serious to ignore. You will only receive the same if you stay in a relationship with him.

Lesson learned. It hurts now, but it will get easier, and you will be glad at how much wiser you will be for the next relationship you find yourself in... I promise... :)

kittybell
Nov 13, 2011, 05:03 PM
Thank you both, & maybe I was in love with the idea of it. I hope it will get easier, cause my heart feels like lead.

DoulaLC
Nov 13, 2011, 05:15 PM
Unfortunately there isn't a quick way to go through it. It just takes time. Expect some good days and some bad for a time, but you will have more good before long.

Spend time with family and friends, keep busy with work and/or school, and do things you enjoy. Take care of you.