It took 3 years to propose her.
It took 3 years for her to breakup.

It has been 10 months when she left. I tried lots of stuff, surprisingly I was interested to do the things I hated before and scared of doing the things I loved to do.
The problem is, now nothing excites me anymore... friends, family, money nothing. It was her, the reason I worked hard to get a job, than to shift my job to where she lived. But now It's just routine what I am following. Getup,go to office, come back watch TV and sleep. At this time, I can't even weep properly. I see the life in two parts 1st life with her and 2nd life without her. Perhaps I could reset my life. When I feel the pain that she is gone, I feel like standing alone, unable to do anything. And when I don't feel the pain I want to feel it again.
Its tough to separate her so easily. The worst part is watching her in dreams and seeing myself like lame.
It's tough to find reason to move forward. I was so simple before that I loved her. It's complicated now that I love her.
The best thing I am able to do is just lying down at free time and think and sleep and think and weep and to see the roof, the wall.

Do you really want to move on? Or your happy to be sad and miserable? If you really want to move on , you will if not your going to spend all your life just think about her and how miserable you are and how sweet she was . OK you need to accept that SHE IS GONE. One of my relative lost her son when he was only 22 years old. He died in car crash... she was screaming for one week and I thought she would not ever make it. I thought she would die. Its been some years now. She accepted that her son is GONE for ever. So if a mother can live with that kind of pain that is the most painful , YOU can too. Get up and do something. Find something to do by yourself and enjoy doing it. Don't make excuse "JUST DO IT" . I bet little by little you will find yourself happier and fresh . You will find a new LOVE. Stop complaining and live and enjoy of your life . Someday you will be sorry for wasting your time like this. Good luck