Hey I'm 18 year old boy who has been going out with a girl for 7 Months. This is my first relationship, and for the first 4 months this was the best time of my life.

I thought that she was the greatest girl in the world, and very sexually attracted her. Then, I began question whether I was gay as time went on. I have had these thoughts in the past, and it never bothered me.

But now that I am in a relationship, they do. I think guys are attractive, but I could not see myself in a relationship with a boy. I have been on Citalopram for 7 weeks now, and my agitation has gone. The thoughts are also not as bad, but they are still in the back of my mind.

Recently, I have found it hard to feel the love for my girlfriend. I love her, but actually feeling it has been very difficult and has begun to make me even more nervous and reinforced the thoughts which I have been having.

I am not attracted to guys like Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling or David Beckham sexually, would gay guys be? I don't see any guys older than me attractive in that way. I just want the feeling I had to return to me so I can be happy with my girlfriend again.

She means the world to me, but I'm finding it very hard, it feels like I'm losing her.

Does anyone have an answer to my situation?

Please respond ASAP.

Did you mean that you are taking citalopram?

I think you may need to talk to your doctor who is prescribing your medication(s) about the changes in feelings that you are experiencing. There may be a need to tweak your medication or make certain there isn't anything interacting with it. Medications such as anti-depressants can have a major affect on a person's libido and thought patterns.

People are attracted to all different types. It is also quite normal to find members of the same sex attractive even for heterosexuals. It is no different than admiring a painting or beautiful sunset. We all have people, places and things that draw our attention.

Being attracted to someone means that on some level (looks, personality, scent, etc.) there is something about that person you find draws you to them. It doesn't even have to be sexual. Friendship is a form of attraction.

I don't think you are gay. You might be bi, but you don't seem to have any strong desire to be with a male romantically/sexually. You do seem to be sexually and emotionally attracted to at least one female. That said, why put a label on yourself? I don't know of one person who fits neatly into one category.

Talk to your doctor about the side-effects of your medicine and the changes you are experiencing. Be open and honest with him/her. Don't hold back because you are worried about what the doctor might think.

Talk to your girlfriend and ask her what changes she has seen in you since you started taking the medicine. She was with you while you dealt with your issues before getting on this medication so she probably will stick with you through trying to figure out what is going on.

Try not to allow yourself to dwell on your fears and doubts. No need to make a mountain out of a molehill. If you find yourself caught up in your fears, try doing something that changes your line of thinking. Read a book, listen to a song, call a friend, get active, anything that disrupts the downward spiral.

Good luck and remember that you are not going through this alone.

My feelings for my girlfriend are disappearing it feels! Is that naturally? It then enforces the idea " oh I must be gay then"??

My feelings for my gf are disappearing it feels! Is that naturally? It then enforces the idea " oh I must be gay then" ??????


I think you are looking for proof that you are gay. Are you?

This is your first relationship, and that alone is confusing and life changing in itself!

I think that there must have been prior thoughts, desires, that were present before you started this particular relationship.

Maybe having a relationship with this girl, has confirmed that your feelings for males, has not stopped, and maybe even have increased.

You have to be honest with yourself, and, if you are not comfortable having a relationship with a girl right now, due to your doubts, the fair thing in my opinion, is to end the relationship.

It is no different to me than anyone having an exclusive relationoship, and at the same time, longing for another, or different person than the one you are with. It is not fair to her to go along with the relationship, not being aware that you are confused about your sexuality.

I would advise you to seek out help and/or counselling that is available within any University or College, to a gay association. I have seen many people your age, who have benefited from gaining insight and understanding into how to find peace, and resolve, to issues of sexuality. Nobody is there to 'turn' you gay, or 'undo' anything- it is a valuable resource for honesty, understanding, and acceptance, no matter what the situation is.

It is a matter of determining your sexuality. You may be straight, you may be bi, you may be gay- nobody here can make that call- but you.

Your happiness will depend upon what you do for yourself. To not deal with this issue, you could be robbing yourself of knowledge that could allow you some understanding, and options.

To have such doubts, will leave you continuously wondering, and worrying, and unable to fully enjoy a relationship with another.

Please seek help from those who have been in your shoes, and understand the consequences of not dealing with such an important issue, one way or the other.

And please have your Doctor check your medicine as Cat has said- these medications are very powerful, and it isn't unusual that things need to be adjusted.

All the best of luck to you.