I met a girl at college this year that I'm crushing on pretty hard. We've gotten off to a strange start, and I'm not sure exactly where to go from here. I have no one that I can talk to this stuff about here, so I wanted to vent my frustrations and concerns to the internet and hopefully pick up some words of encouragement.

I've played the friend-zone game before, so when I met this girl, I was determined to prevent that by all means this time. I decided that I would let her know my intentions as soon as I was sure of them. A few weeks after knowing her, I managed to drunkenly confess my interest in her. It was a bit clumsy and un-suave, but I managed to make my feelings known.

She's not totally over her ex, and I knew that going in. She was the one to break up with him, and has told me that she has absolutely no intentions of ever being back with him, but I can tell that she still struggles with it. This worries me at times, but I've told her that if he, or any other guy enters the picture, I wouldn't be able to deal with it, and I'm out for good.

I spent a lot of time initially trying to convince her to let me date her or at least see what would happen, and she finally agreed to give me a chance. She said that she needs time, and that we are going to have to take things very slowly, but she's interested in becoming something... more. She really wanted to get to know the guy that she gets involved with beforehand this time. Fine, I told her. I can do slow.

Well we've been hanging out a lot, and we both really enjoy each others company. We've made out quite a few times while drunk. However, we have yet to ever kiss sober. She makes it seem at times that she's cool with us hooking up, but she's also told me multiple times that she's still not ready to be on a level where she even kisses me yet.

She's not okay with having sex with someone that she isn't dating, so she's always stopped me before it got to that point. I told her that I could respect that and I wouldn't let it get to that point until she's ready. Well, this recently escalated. We fooled around a lot, and things nearly crossed the line. In the heat of the drunken moment, she really wanted to have sex. I almost caved, but I knew that it really wasn't something she wanted. I absolutely hated doing it, but I told her that we couldn't.

Things calmed down after a few minutes and she was grateful for what I did. I started my previous relationship with drunk sex like this, and I always felt that my ex regretted that, so I didn't want to go down that road again. We eventually kissed and parted ways for the night. Though we were both pretty drunk the whole night, I felt like things went well.

The next day we hung out. We didn't drink and we didn't discuss the previous night. She regularly fully acknowledge that we fool around while drunk. However, she still makes it out like it's not something she's ready for yet, although that attitude seems to be easing gradually.

I understand the confusion of getting over an ex and having a new guy in the mix, which is why I've allowed her the space she needs. However, I'm starting to become somewhat attached to this girl. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I didn't stop things the other night. I can feel myself becoming hopeful for something to come of this relationship, but I don't know how long this strange pattern will go on. I want to at least kiss this girl sober, but whenever I've brought it up, she says that she isn't ready for that.

I know that getting involved with an emotionally unstable girl is asking for this trouble to some degree, but I'd like to see if I can make things work out. I've dealt with heartache before, and it's really not something I'm afraid of experiencing. To me, the risk is worth the reward.

But, this is why I turn to you guys. Am I doing the right thing here? Should I continue this pattern in hopes that it turns into something more? Whenever I bring up the idea of even kissing her when we're sober, she tells me how it won't happen any time soon. The less we talk about these things, though, the more often they just seem to happen.

My plan is to just keep trucking along and see how things pan out. But, we'll be off on break in a few weeks and I won't see her for about a month. If I'm still in this situation then, I'm not sure what I'll do. Do I have any other moves here?

Sorry for the length, but I mostly just needed to write this to get my thoughts out to people. If anyone has any advice or suggestions, I'm happy to hear them. Thank you for reading this, and I appreciate you guys taking time to help people out on here.

I met a girl at college this year that I'm crushing on pretty hard. We've gotten off to a strange start, and I'm not sure exactly where to go from here. I have no one that I can talk to this stuff about here, so I wanted to vent my frustrations and concerns to the internet and hopefully pick up some words of encouragement.

I've played the friend-zone game before, so when I met this girl, I was determined to prevent that by all means this time. I decided that I would let her know my intentions as soon as I was sure of them. A few weeks after knowing her, I managed to drunkenly confess my interest in her. It was a bit clumsy and un-suave, but I managed to make my feelings known.

She's not totally over her ex, and I knew that going in. She was the one to break up with him, and has told me that she has absolutely no intentions of ever being back with him, but I can tell that she still struggles with it. This worries me at times, but I've told her that if he, or any other guy enters the picture, I wouldn't be able to deal with it, and I'm out for good.

I spent a lot of time initially trying to convince her to let me date her or at least see what would happen, and she finally agreed to give me a chance. She said that she needs time, and that we are going to have to take things very slowly, but she's interested in becoming something...more. She really wanted to get to know the guy that she gets involved with beforehand this time. Fine, I told her. I can do slow.

Well we've been hanging out a lot, and we both really enjoy each others company. We've made out quite a few times while drunk. However, we have yet to ever kiss sober. She makes it seem at times that she's cool with us hooking up, but she's also told me multiple times that she's still not ready to be on a level where she even kisses me yet.

She's not okay with having sex with someone that she isn't dating, so she's always stopped me before it got to that point. I told her that I could respect that and I wouldn't let it get to that point until she's ready. Well, this recently escalated. We fooled around a lot, and things nearly crossed the line. In the heat of the drunken moment, she really wanted to have sex. I almost caved, but I knew that it really wasn't something she wanted. I absolutely hated doing it, but I told her that we couldn't.

Things calmed down after a few minutes and she was grateful for what I did. I started my previous relationship with drunk sex like this, and I always felt that my ex regretted that, so I didn't want to go down that road again. We eventually kissed and parted ways for the night. Though we were both pretty drunk the whole night, I felt like things went well.

The next day we hung out. We didn't drink and we didn't discuss the previous night. She regularly fully acknowledge that we fool around while drunk. However, she still makes it out like it's not something she's ready for yet, although that attitude seems to be easing gradually.

I understand the confusion of getting over an ex and having a new guy in the mix, which is why I've allowed her the space she needs. However, I'm starting to become somewhat attached to this girl. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I didn't stop things the other night. I can feel myself becoming hopeful for something to come of this relationship, but I don't know how long this strange pattern will go on. I want to at least kiss this girl sober, but whenever I've brought it up, she says that she isn't ready for that.

I know that getting involved with an emotionally unstable girl is asking for this trouble to some degree, but I'd like to see if I can make things work out. I've dealt with heartache before, and it's really not something I'm afraid of experiencing. To me, the risk is worth the reward.

But, this is why I turn to you guys. Am I doing the right thing here? Should I continue this pattern in hopes that it turns into something more? Whenever I bring up the idea of even kissing her when we're sober, she tells me how it won't happen any time soon. The less we talk about these things, though, the more often they just seem to happen.

My plan is to just keep trucking along and see how things pan out. But, we'll be off on break in a few weeks and I won't see her for about a month. If I'm still in this situation then, I'm not sure what I'll do. Do I have any other moves here?

Sorry for the length, but I mostly just needed to write this to get my thoughts out to people. If anyone has any advice or suggestions, I'm happy to hear them. Thank you for reading this, and I appreciate you guys taking time to help people out on here.

I really don't understand any of this. Can you tell me what you mean by 'you have made out a lot of times while drunk, but you have never kissed while sober" ? So you mean you two have sex but you don't kiss?

I don't know why you are wasting your time with this relationship quite frankly, it ain't exactly going anywhere fast. Just in circles. She can't have any qualms about STDs if she is having sex with you but not kissing.

Big Red flag, she only has sex with you while drunk.

Tick

Hello again guy, you are around her too much, and are trying to hard for more than she is ready to give, and in cases like that you back up, let go, and date others.

She needs a crutch, you need a girl friend, and neither of those things should be with each other.

Drunkenly confessing your feelings to a stranger was foolish, and very premature.

To much, to fast, crash and burn

Leave her alone to do her healing without your drinking, and confessing. That why you are in the middle of a mess.

It seems like you are pretty new in the dating scene. I don't remember ever asking a girl if I could kiss her, I would just normaly go for it and see how it went from there. As far as not having sex with her, it was a very gentleman thing to do. But, it seems as if your whole story revolves around one thing... SEX. Why is it that you are so worried about it, or maybe not worried, but anxious about it? Let it happen when it happens, and the kiss too, let the moment evolve into that, don't bull rush her into it, of course she will say no. Also, I would be uncomfortable she does all this stuff only while she is drunk, have you though of what would happen if she was to get drunk with someone else around instead of you? Maybe she really isn't ready for that relationship, in that case you can either choose to just continue to follow her sexually which is obviously what you are after, or if you should just back off and find someone who is a little more emotionally stable and knows what they want.

Hold back your horses.

There's nothing worse than trying to force yourself on someone.
When they haven't gotten over their ex.
She already told you that. You know.

Take a giant chill pill.

"we'll be off on break in a few weeks and I won't see her for about a month"

Good. Take that time to get in control.
If she calls you, cool. If, not, cool.

So what? You are still cool.