First up, I'm sorry for the essay, I need to get it all out.

I'll try not to bore you with the details... We were together for 3 years, from the age of 15-18, when we broke up for University. I always argued the case that we could make it work through Uni but she was never fully up for it, saying she 'needed to find herself outside of us' - she had had a boyfriend since she was 11 (yes, I know, far far too young for anything of note, but I consider myself and her boyfriend of 2 months before me to be her first proper boyfriends as we were the only ones she'd ever been sexual with.) I could see her point, yet it also made no sense to me - I was willing to do anything to make it happen.

She was my first everything - first love, first sexual partner (we took each others virginity) and she was my best friend. We got on like a house on fire, and we were so deeply in love it was crazy.

Then about June of this year things started to go downhill. We stopped having sex as much, and would just lie on my bed watching TV and not really do/say anything instead of going out like we used to. Around that time I developed a crush on another girl, and the crush as well as our problems caused me to break up with her. However, as we have the same friendship group we ended up going on holiday with our friends for a week. Halfway during the week I told her the real reason why I'd broken up with her... I've never seen anyone so upset, she slapped me and ran off crying. As soon as I'd told her the truth though I knew all of a sudden I wanted her back - I needed her back. So the next day we talked it over and we got back together.

However, she thought I knew it was 'casual' and that we were breaking up for uni. I had no idea, so when it came around I was as upset as she was when I broke up with her. About a month later we started skyping, and she even got to the 'i still love you' stage - making me think we were getting back together again. For a brief 2 weeks we were both really happy for the first time since we broke up. A couple of days later though she asked for some space as she'd come to uni to not have a boyfriend and felt as though she had one. 3 weeks later she's got a new guy and has slept with him. I am so lost its unreal - everything I see makes me think of her... every song on my iPod reminds me of a memory with her. Every room in the house has a memory attached to it. Even when I'm with my friends I think of her, I dream of getting back together with her (literally). I can't escape it.

We're 'friends' at the moment and we talk on Facebook. It's been 2 weeks since her and her new guy got together. My friends say move on, but I can't help thinking there's still a chance for us... We broke up for no reason other than uni, I love her so so much and I know she still loves me, even if she says to her friends that she doesn't. You don't just forget 3 years of feeling, do you?

I hope friends could reignite our relationship... I see pictures of them together on Facebook - the sight of her wearing the dresses she used to wear when seeing me whilst she's hugging him are like a dagger through my heart, and the thought of them having sex kills me.

Anyway, I need to break out of my sadness... I fear it may overwhelm me - I've stupidly thought death is preferable to it during my really low hours. So please... How do you get over something that you can't live without? Thank You.

Ah, one last thing. We never fought, if we did it never lasted and we'd make up within the hour.

And when I say 'I hope friends could reignite our relationship.' I mean me being friends with her. I hope it will make her feel how she used to. Maybe that's wrong. I don't know.

I think this sums it up though - I'm not religious yet at night I find myself praying to a God I'm not even sure exists to bring her back to me.

Thank you for your time, sorry its such a long question.

Unfortunately, as long as you are still talking and trying to be friends while she is doing her thing, you will never get over her and it will be miserable, as well you know. Stop with the friend stuff, which means full NO CONTACT, so you can stop stirring those old feelings, and give yourself time to heal those still fresh open wounds that need to close.

Focus on building a life that you enjoy without her, with friends, family, and activities that make you happy. Gradually, over time you will be stronger and more comfortable with coping with your hurt feelings as the get replaced by new ones.

Sorry guy, for your loss, but the first love is over, and the second will appear when you are ready. So completely let go of this one.

I know, it ain't easy. Never is, and it sucks. Life is a real betch, but we cope with the ups and downs, and thrive, and survive, so leave her alone. Be busy and unavailable for friendly conversations with her that will rip your heart out.

I am going through the same thing.. It sucks it really does.. But what more can you do? You can only let god play your life put the way it should be. And the other person that commented is right. Do what you can to make yourself better. Try not to give yourself hope that things will go bak to how they were cause that's exactly what I've been doing and it doesn't do nothing but make you think more of her and want her back. Always remember things have to be worse before they get better.

We all know how you feel we have once been involved in something like that I broke up with my girlfriend and we have to work together it is hard as feelings will never completely go but in time it should help

I am going through a similar situation. She told me she wanted to find herself, had been dating steadily since an early age. We would see each other everyday (went to same school) I thought, okay we are taking a step back, find ourselves and move onto a stronger healthier relationship. The day after she broke up with me she made out with someone else, apologised and we seemed like we were together but not official. Until I find out she had been seeing this guy the whole time. She is also my first love, that I have done all my firsts with. Talking to her, seeing her only makes things worse. I have started to go out, meet new friends and it helps. I hate thinking of her with another guy, but if they can move on that easily to someone else, maybe their love wasn't as true as it should be.

You will find someone that will feel it impossible to ever be with anyone other than you, they will appreciate you, and WANT to be with you. God has a plan for us all, he sees things we can't, sometimes you just have to trust that fate will bring you true happiness.

Thanks for the answers guys, really helped me a lot.

One of the main reasons for breaking up was she thought long distance wouldn't work... I live about an hour and a half away from her uni. Her new lad goes to her uni (one of the Oxford ones) but lives in London. This weekend they've gone to London to 'meet the parents'... London is the roughly same distance to Oxford from where I live - if she can put that much effort into a 3 week relationship and not even give it a try in a 3 year one, she's clearly not worth a second of my time.

"Arbaun" I really hope it all works out mate, we're both moving on to bigger and better things - remember that. & Special thanks to you as your answer is so similar to my situation, it really helped. You're right, I don't think they deserve us at all & their love was not as strong as it should have been.

Cheers!

I felt the same with my ex I went out with her for 3 weeks and I met her parents and family but all I can say is if females want to act stupid than sod them