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View Full Version : My 16 year old girlfriend is pregnant, what should I do?


anthonyocho4
Nov 5, 2011, 03:10 AM
I'm going through the same thing.

I'm 17 and my girlfriend is 16, we're both really scared, but she seems calm about the whole thing, and that makes me feel good yet nervous at the same time. I don't feel like I want it, I even think at times that it would be better for it to die during her having it. I know it's horrible, but that's how scared I am.

I really need help also because our relationship isn't all that great, what should I do? She is going on 3 months, but we barely took the test hoping it was just her period being late, but I guess not, what should I do? :(

cdad
Nov 5, 2011, 03:29 AM
You man up and support her and the child. You knew this could happen. Being afraid is normal. Your bringing a new life into this world. But somehow if you want to be a part of this child's life then you need to be there from the beginning. Sign the needed papers so you're the legal father etc. And if she goes after you for child support. Pay it. You do have a job right?

DoulaLC
Nov 5, 2011, 03:41 AM
Have the two of you discussed the options available? If she decides to have the baby, and raise the child herself, you will be responsible to help provide for the baby whether you stay in a relationship with her or not.

There is also the consideration of adoption, which can be a wonderful choice that can benefit everyone involved.

If your families have not been informed already, that would be the first thing to do (difficult, I know, but necessary). She will also need to see her doctor to have the test confirmed. This needs to be done right away.

Do not think this is a situation the two of you can handle on your own.

Fr_Chuck
Nov 5, 2011, 05:42 AM
Even if your relationship is not great now, you have to grow up fast. You decided to act and behave as a man, so now you have to be one. For the next 18 to 22 years you will not be writing a check to the girl for child support, each month, based on how much you make. It is possible till you turn 18 your parents may be liable for your share.

You do not have to stay or be with the girl, but you should want to have a relationship with your child.

ScottGem
Nov 5, 2011, 05:52 AM
i really need help also because our relationship isn't all that great what should i do she going on 3 months but we barely took the test hopeing it was just her period being late but i guess not what should i do? :'(

I'm not sure what you want help with or why this was posted in this forum.
It looks like this was a post piggybacked on another thread and moved to its own thread. So can you clarify what you need help with.

I do agree with Chuck's point. When you CHOSE to engage in sexual intercourse, you took on the risk of pregnancy. If such a situation scares you, then you shouldn't have taken the risk.

But now that you have, you have to deal with the consequences of that choice. So if you can be more specific about what you need help with, we can try to help.

DaniCalifornia
Nov 5, 2011, 08:56 AM
I'm sure both your parents would be willing to help, just be prepared for shock and a possible speech on disappointment.

You've performed an adult act, this is the adult consequence.

X Dani

CliffARobinson
Nov 5, 2011, 04:37 PM
The feelings you have are natural. When we are in our teens and even early twenties, we think we are invincible, that bad things will not happen to us. This is why as adults, after we learned our lessons for ourselves, we try to tell people your age how their behavior can lead to unintended consequences.

Often times, those lessons are only learned the hard way, and you are learning it now.

In answer to your question, what you do is take a deep breath and calm down. You are not the first guy to get a girl pregnant unintentionally, and you will not be the last. You can and will be a great dad and still have your life to live, regardless if it is with her or not.

You will get through this and will eventually be a great dad to your child. Be careful not to make decisions about what sort of involvement you will have in the child's life now at 16. These decisions are ones you cannot reverse.