Ok, so this is kind of long but I really need help.

So I am 20 years old, and I cannot decide between two women. They are both the same age (I am not currently with either of them but they both want me). Now one I have been with ONE, since I was 16, we have a 3 year old son, she is very nice and always gives me money, pays most of rent.

I know she loves me, and wants me back, but then there is this other girl I dated, and well I love her so much, and she's loves me. We have so much in common. We get along, and she does things for me like she really cares, like always makes sure I have food. She even buys my dogs food, toys, treats, where as my sons mom hates my dogs.

I have always had problems with drugs, and alcohol since I was 12 years old. She is the first person that I've been with where I don't need the substances to be happy, though we do drink still, I've stopped using drugs and its really the first time I've been happy my whole life is with her. I think the hardest part about choosing is because of my son I know in my heart I will be happy forever with girl, but I know if we stay together my baby's momma will take my son and move back to her hometown, and I will no longer be able to see him. I have no say in what she does with him as she has full custody, and well I have made a lot of poor choices in my life and since I have spend 4 of the last 8 years in juvenile detention centers, and prison, if I tried to do anything child services would take one look at my record, and that would be it.

And again it really comes down to my son, I grew up with a ****ty dad and I know how much it sucks. I was using heroin by the time I was 13 and I really don't want me son to go down that path, so I guess what I'm really asking is is it worth me being unhappy in a relationship for my son, or living a happy life with a girl who I love and who loves me, and just to add to that, I don't think she would ever really recover if I didn't come back to her, where as my sons mom would move on quick like she did while I was locked up.

Thanks you for reading, I really just don't know what to do. I care about my son a lot. Any input would be very helpful.

Your son is 3, and no matter where he is you are able to be a great dad. His mother deserves complete honesty, considering she has put up with your crap for so long, and still hangs in there.

The new girl will live without you if she has too, so it comes down to what you want. I think you start with telling your baby mama the full truth so she can decide to not waste her time and money on more of your crap, and then take the time to get your act together and be an AVAILABLE man figure for your son.

Technically since you are not with either one, and not cheating, get your own head together, and stop taking from them both, because that's not fair to the one who gets hurt. A tough decision that requires a LOT of thought.

I am a girl and I think you should be happy with the girl you love not the one you are miserable with. Honestly, don't be miserable its just not worth it. I have a step mom and I love her to death and maybe your son will too.

I think that there is a lot to be said for honesty, starting with honesty to yourself. Do you want to move from one thing that makes you feel good (drink and drugs) to another (the girl who makes you feel so good.) It may not seem this way now but people and love can be addictive too. Sometimes we replace a lack of care and love for ourselves with either drugs or other people/love which feels as strong as any drug.

Love can be potent, I am just coming out of 10 years of relationships and was your age when they started, now I look back with perspective and wish that I had spent a little more time loving myself.

Maybe just give yourself the care that you desire from these girls and your son will have a strong and supportive daddy when the time comes that he needs advice for dating from you.