My girlfriend and I have been going out for about a year and 9 months now. She broke up with me because I didn't treat her right and I didn't understand how she feels because she told me that most of the time I was always on the computer and also that I kept calling her names which made her feel like Sh**, but I never intentionally did it to hurt her. We had an argument about that and I changed my ways after that.

My computer was like an addiction so I gave that up little by little but then came the day when she finally snapped because we had an argument about that she had time to go on tumblr than to text me because I was wondering where she was. I admit I have insecurity issues and I am the jealous type. But the reason I turned out that way was because when I started to ask her out, she told me that she was picking between me and some other guy that asked her out.

The next day I told my best friend my problem and he told me that HE was the other guy and we were both surprised. He told me that they already were going out and he told me that he didn't know that I liked her too. He told me that he will break up with her right away. When all that drama ended her and I ended up together. I accepted her even for her flaws and helped her change from making mistakes again.

So she told me that she was mad at me and so she was going to go for a walk. My biggest mistake that I realize now is that I kept calling her and texting her which made me look very clingy. When she finally called back she told me that she was not happy with the relationship and she thinks that we should break up.

Now here is my side of the story. I never tried to hurt her and make her feel like crap because it made me feel good. I treated her like how I thought she wanted to be treated but I guess that wasn't enough. I cuddle with her whenever I could, I tell her that she was the most beautiful girl in my eyes, and if she had any problems she would tell me right away.

Now back to the break up part. She told me that she wants time for herself and that she liked being alone at her house (she lives with her brother and uncle). She told me that I have changed (of course I changed for her but I guess she was only looking at the negative side of the changes) and that I wasn't the same person that she fell in love with. She also told me that she also just wants to hangout with friends. I admit that I spent less time talking to her but I still did communicated with her if we had the opportunity to do it (called her, cuddle, eat, when she goes to my house to spend the night I tuck her in). I don't really know what was the major reason why she broke up with me and we told each other in the beginning that we would only break up is only when we cheated on each other (which in the back of my mind I think is the reason) but she told me that she was never the cheating type and her family told me that before too when we had to talk. She just said, "you already broke your promise of trying to change." I did try to change and I told her if the change she needed was giving up those things I would do it. She just told me that it was too late.

I told her that we could be friends and that we could promise each other not see any other person (by that I mean date) and not fall for anyone and once we find out our strengths and weaknesses we will be able to go back together (another mistake I did I think). My biggest mistake was crying and then telling her that I was feeling sad the day after it happened. She like brushed it off like it was nothing to her and when I told her I felt like crying she just says "dont cry or I will be mean to you (she doesn't really mean it but basically she just keep saying don't cry."

I never heard of No contact not until a day after I texted her at night saying that I will always be there for her and if she had any problems she would call me and that I will always love her. The next day she texted me that she was sorry that she wasn't able to answer my text because she drove to places so she could reminisce about her childhood. I told her that it was okay and that I understand why she did it. We texted for a little more about what we were doing and all that. That was when I found out about the no contact thing from my friend. So I called her and told her that I respect what her decision was. I told her that now I will need my own space too now to understand myself and to figure out what I did wrong.

Then she asked me if she could still text me if she had any questions so I told her if she had any questions it should be now. She didn't have any so we said our goodbyes and that's the beginning of my NC day.

Now I decided to give up my computer addiction, exercise with P90, and hangout with friends. But it still hurts me from time to time thinking that if she really did love me or not.

It's been 2 days since it happened and it really hurts to think about it but slowly I'm able to forget about it. I have faith in her that she will stick to our promise and I still don't know if the NC rule will work, will it?

We already planned to go to a convention with our friends a week from now, what can I do? Do I just ignore her and just hang with my best friend? What if we had no choice but to go with the group that she is in? What should I say, and is there still any hope of getting her back?

Sorry if this is very long. I just want to explain what happened.

The reason of WHY she broke up with you is secondary here. You need to accept that she has broken up with you, go no contact, give her all the space she is able to have, and start healing. Regardless of why this happened, it has happened, so it is just better to move on, the longer you hold on, the longer it will take you to get over this relationship. There is no magic pill you can take to change her mind, if she has made a clear decision, then that is it. Even though you may want to continue the relationship, she doesn't. Stay busy, work on yourself, and you will become used to being single as you were before.

First off No Contact is for moving on after a break up. It seems that's not what you intend to do so NC will not work for you, nor will those ridicules conditions that you have imposed on her, and yourself.

The problem was you are an impulsive, selfish smotherer, and you only see the error of your ways when she has had enough. Had you cared you would not have acted in such a way as to cause these problems, and would have dealt with them yourself, not to make her happy, but yourself a better partner. Sorry guy, you may never be what she wants no matter the changes you make. You will never be abe to control, or change her feelings either.

I think at this point, you stop being sefish, let her go, and pursue getting yourself healthy emotionally, to be a better person, and a good partner to someone if not her. Take the time to work on yourself, and see what the future holds, whether she is there or NOT. You have a lot of growing to do. Do so now, and stop worrying about what she is doing, or whether she comes back or not. Make a good life for yourself.

When you see her, be friendly and polite, but don't revert back to the whiny crybaby immature boy. No more begging, because she is a woman, not your MOTHER, so man up, and act like a man. She wants to explore her world, so let her, and explore yours.

Glad you got a taste of the benefits of NC.

She has told you so many times that she doesn't want to be with you.

That sucks, I know.

But, accept it. Do your own thing & don't talk with her.

Here's something I live by:
When someone tells you they don't want you, they aren't worth anymore of your time.

Period.