Hello,

My ex-boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me on our 10 month anniversary. He started nice with flowers and brought me to a nearby lake were we talked. It was then that he put it forward and told me he wanted to break up because of the pressures of school. We are both in first year university, and he claims that he cannot focus on school and a relationship at the same time and that school was more important. He said we can still be friends if you want and who knows "maybe" in the future we can be back together. He always reinforced that he still loved me and misses me.

Within a week of our break-up he told me that during a dorm party he got drunk and engaged in sexual activities with a dorm-mate. I always had my suspicions about this girl, but he always reinforced that they were just "friends". After telling me that I stopped talking to him for a good week. It was a very hard week indeed, but I still cannot seem to get over him. I'm sure people are going to suggest to keep myself distracted and I have. I got a puppy, spent more time with my family, gone to work a lot etc. It doesn't seem to help and it REALLY is affecting me.

I often break down and cry just from thinking of him. I really did love him and still do (as much as I try to convince myself I don't). Also to add, within out 10 month relationship everything was not going 100% great. We did break up a lot and get back together, we argued a lot, we had trust issues (I did not trust him cause I caught him lying a lot) etc. I know for a fact that he has still been engaging in sexual activities with the same girl. So once again, I truly don't want to be back with him because I know he won't change, but I really want to get over him.

On-top of all this I'm 18 years old and have depression, so it just makes getting over him so much harder. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks. - AskMe1357

I'm sorry you're dealing with this... unfortunately, there is no easy answer. The best things you can do is to occupy yourself (which you're doing), be around friends, and just give it time. Also, best if you stop all contact with this jerk... don't talk to him, don't ask about him, don't care what he does or when.

I know it's tough now but the more time goes by, you will get better. Give it time.

I hope things work out for you. Take care.

It will take some time for you to get over your feelings so be patient, and busy, and soon you will be glad he dumped you, and set you free to be happier. Break ups suck, and it does take time.

Pray for the new girl, she will get her heart broken too, and be used and thrown away when he is done with her.

Sorry to hear your having such a hard time.
Truth is, he doesn't deserve you if he could treat you this way.
Try to cut all contact with him including fb, how can you attempt to move on if there are any reminders holding you back from doing so. Stick with no contact. Just think about how things are going to start looking up for you in the next few months.. no more having to deal with his lies,feeling insecure.. its all about you. Make yourself the most important person for the time being.
Things will be difficult for a while but you will get through this. Continue to keep yourself busy in the way that you have. Also you mention that you are in university? It's a perfect place for meeting new friends, why not get involved in some clubs or societies?
You don't have to worry about meeting anybody new at the moment as I'm sure you are still feeling very raw but it will pass and soon enough he'll realise how empty life is without you in it... and by that time you will be a stronger person without him to bring you down.

Good luck