chimneywood
Oct 29, 2011, 02:51 AM
About seven years ago I met a girl. Her parents are old school mates of my parents'. I'm kind of shy and so was she. I almost always stayed in my room when there was a party at our house and she always seemed to end up there with me. We never did anything, we just talked or sat there and did nothing.
Then she got into med school and I got into college and things changed a little. She started drinking more, to the point that she'd pass out some times, and she got my handle from my sister and started chatting with me online, usually late at nights. She'd really open up and tell me things about herself.
Turned out she'd broken up with this guy she'd been going out with recently, (which I still don't think she's over after all these years). She was always generally nice to everyone, but when she got drunk she just seemed to focus on me and get all handsy and whatnot. I knew she was drunk but I couldn't get over how she was.
On some level I started to feel like I liked her and she liked me. Everyone who knows us both started to notice how I felt about her and they kept mentioning how good we are together or how comfortable we are with each other. Some of them even suggested I ask her out, but like I said I was both shy and unsure about why I really liked her; I mean everything she'd done to make me feel like that was when she was drunk.
Some time later I met her school friends at a party and she kept hanging around one of her guy friends. I was really jealous, (even though I knew they weren't together). I felt like I was probably losing my chance though, so I started to think about actually asking her out. But then something happened: she texted me one night around 2:00 AM and said she was really upset with her friends and that she needed to talk to someone and that she just thought of me.
She basically asked me out to lunch and she did her talking and she said she felt much better afterwards.
Now I felt like asking her out on a date would we awkward, with her thinking of me as a close friend and all. But I really enjoyed her company, and I really liked it when we were out together, just the two of us. So I started planning lunch and watching TV shows and just hanging out. We did this around maybe 7, 8 times before I felt I can tell her how I feel and to ask her if we could be more than just friends. So I did, and she was surprised and said she hadn't noticed that I like her like that, and said she had to think about it.
So, two weeks later, there was a get together at her house and even though she was sober, she was being unusually friendly with me. She stayed around me more than she did with her other friends. She sat next to me when we were all watching a movie. And then when we were alone together she sat with me, held my hand, lay her head on my shoulder and started opening up again. She even hugged and kissed me when I was leaving, which she never had before.
The next day she said we needed to talk (it took around a week to schedule though) and when we talked she kept bringing up excuses as to why it wouldn't work between us. She kept saying she can be cold and that she doesn't know how to handle romantic relationships, and how she would sabotage it if we started to get too close and that she'd hate it if that happened since she thought I was a really good friend.
Long story short, she didn't say she wasn't interested, but she didn't exactly say she was either.
She left the country a few weeks later. We stayed in touch through the internet. She was really friendly at first, she'd say nice things about me constantly like what a good friend I was to her or how nice and sweet I was. Then she started hanging out with some friends of hers and she really started to change.
She started smoking, kept telling me how awful she felt, said I didn't understand her anymore. She said she was getting too attached to me and too dependent on me being there when she needed to talk, so she suggested we stop talking for a while. Afterwards she said she'd thought about it and she wants to stop "pretending" to be my friend.
This really made me angry (and I did say some really mean things to her, but we talked about it later and she understood that I didn't mean them). Then she said she thinks I'm too nice for her taste and that she wouldn't want to be with me.
Now, 7 months later, she's back and I really feel like I should be telling her something, asking her something, but I just don't know what! It's really killing me that she's just around sometimes and she acts as if nothing's ever happened.
As if it's 5 years ago and we haven't said any of the things that we've said. Part of me feels used, another feels like she's going through something tough and she could use some help. I just don't seem to know who she is. So I'd really like to forget about the whole thing, but then I feel like I should sit her down and talk about all this.
I'm really confused.
Then she got into med school and I got into college and things changed a little. She started drinking more, to the point that she'd pass out some times, and she got my handle from my sister and started chatting with me online, usually late at nights. She'd really open up and tell me things about herself.
Turned out she'd broken up with this guy she'd been going out with recently, (which I still don't think she's over after all these years). She was always generally nice to everyone, but when she got drunk she just seemed to focus on me and get all handsy and whatnot. I knew she was drunk but I couldn't get over how she was.
On some level I started to feel like I liked her and she liked me. Everyone who knows us both started to notice how I felt about her and they kept mentioning how good we are together or how comfortable we are with each other. Some of them even suggested I ask her out, but like I said I was both shy and unsure about why I really liked her; I mean everything she'd done to make me feel like that was when she was drunk.
Some time later I met her school friends at a party and she kept hanging around one of her guy friends. I was really jealous, (even though I knew they weren't together). I felt like I was probably losing my chance though, so I started to think about actually asking her out. But then something happened: she texted me one night around 2:00 AM and said she was really upset with her friends and that she needed to talk to someone and that she just thought of me.
She basically asked me out to lunch and she did her talking and she said she felt much better afterwards.
Now I felt like asking her out on a date would we awkward, with her thinking of me as a close friend and all. But I really enjoyed her company, and I really liked it when we were out together, just the two of us. So I started planning lunch and watching TV shows and just hanging out. We did this around maybe 7, 8 times before I felt I can tell her how I feel and to ask her if we could be more than just friends. So I did, and she was surprised and said she hadn't noticed that I like her like that, and said she had to think about it.
So, two weeks later, there was a get together at her house and even though she was sober, she was being unusually friendly with me. She stayed around me more than she did with her other friends. She sat next to me when we were all watching a movie. And then when we were alone together she sat with me, held my hand, lay her head on my shoulder and started opening up again. She even hugged and kissed me when I was leaving, which she never had before.
The next day she said we needed to talk (it took around a week to schedule though) and when we talked she kept bringing up excuses as to why it wouldn't work between us. She kept saying she can be cold and that she doesn't know how to handle romantic relationships, and how she would sabotage it if we started to get too close and that she'd hate it if that happened since she thought I was a really good friend.
Long story short, she didn't say she wasn't interested, but she didn't exactly say she was either.
She left the country a few weeks later. We stayed in touch through the internet. She was really friendly at first, she'd say nice things about me constantly like what a good friend I was to her or how nice and sweet I was. Then she started hanging out with some friends of hers and she really started to change.
She started smoking, kept telling me how awful she felt, said I didn't understand her anymore. She said she was getting too attached to me and too dependent on me being there when she needed to talk, so she suggested we stop talking for a while. Afterwards she said she'd thought about it and she wants to stop "pretending" to be my friend.
This really made me angry (and I did say some really mean things to her, but we talked about it later and she understood that I didn't mean them). Then she said she thinks I'm too nice for her taste and that she wouldn't want to be with me.
Now, 7 months later, she's back and I really feel like I should be telling her something, asking her something, but I just don't know what! It's really killing me that she's just around sometimes and she acts as if nothing's ever happened.
As if it's 5 years ago and we haven't said any of the things that we've said. Part of me feels used, another feels like she's going through something tough and she could use some help. I just don't seem to know who she is. So I'd really like to forget about the whole thing, but then I feel like I should sit her down and talk about all this.
I'm really confused.