View Full Version : Phone talking
dazzleman5776
Oct 28, 2011, 11:11 AM
My girlfriend of 7 years has been talking to her ex boyfriend on the phone eventho she told me about it I didn't get upset till she told me he had invited her to visit him twice now... And she still continued to talk with him thinking he was only wanting to be friends... Should I end my relationship with her ?
tickle
Oct 28, 2011, 11:59 AM
Ending the relationship because she is talking on the phone. Come on dude.
Do you really think it is our decision for such a personal decision?
As long as she doesn't meet him and is only talking, doesn't seem to be an issue.
Tick
BK201
Oct 28, 2011, 12:00 PM
Nope bro, she is honest with you. Encourage her to talk to you about what they are discussing etc so that you will get a clear picture of his motive.
Also, if she knows that though you are disturbed by his invitation, yet you trust her so much, she will definitely know where to keep her ex. Let her know the same.
samm101
Oct 28, 2011, 12:59 PM
Don't go breaking up with her just because you are annoyed she's talking with an ex. Do you not think that's a bit of a rash decision?
I'll admit it would upset any partner if they found out their loved one was talking to an ex, even making you feel insecure. I know it would me but the thing is you can't let it show that its bothering you as much as it is because
1. You'll end up looking insecure & needy
2. It'll make her question things if she sees you fly off the handle + break up with her over something she deems innocent (remember she has told you.. it'd be cause to worry if she didn't)
If you both have been together 7yrs then you are obviously doing something right. Just don't forget to make her feel special every now and then. Flowers sent to her work, take her out to dinner or maybe the occasional romantic night in.
Keep the lines of communication open between the two of you.
REMEMBER: if she sees you over react then she will be less likely to fill you in on what they talk about.
Maybe if you bring it up casually one day that it makes you a bit uncomfortable,she should understand.. KEEP YOUR COOL!
I wish
Oct 28, 2011, 01:33 PM
Seems a bit impulsive to through a 7 year relationship down the drain because of something so small.
Is there a build-up of mistrust over the years? Do you have other problems in this relationship?
dazzleman5776
Oct 28, 2011, 01:52 PM
Yes there are some things I hold against her at the beginning of the relationship
talaniman
Oct 28, 2011, 01:58 PM
I have never had a girl friend for 7 years. If I did, we would have laid down rules of good behavior that we could agree on and abide by. If we couldn't she wouldn't last a year with me. She would never be my girl friend period.
Obviously you have never sat down and talked about what's acceptable, or what's not. Shame after 7 years, because trust starts with being able to stay within the boundaries of good behavior that a couple defines amongst them together. 7 years, 7 days 7 minutes, doesn't matter. Discuss what's right, what's wrong, and live by it. Never to late.
shufford1
Oct 29, 2011, 01:37 PM
Do you have other issues with her? 7 years is a long time to "date". Sit her down and talk to her. Ask her what's "else" might be on her mind.
tickle
Oct 29, 2011, 02:11 PM
Do you have other issues with her? 7 years is a long time to "date". Sit her down and talk to her. Ask her what's "else" might be on her mind.
Yes shuff, this is a good point. She probably wants a commitment after seven years of dating. I mean, what woman would not.
Tick
dazzleman5776
Jan 7, 2012, 11:35 AM
Me and my girlfrind of 7 years has called it off I need to know what's the best way to move on and not sit around thinking about the past with her
lifebelike
Jan 16, 2012, 09:54 PM
Keep you head high and forget about her no need to be sitting around feeling sorry for yourself more on.
geminichick
Jan 17, 2012, 08:14 AM
You need to keep busy. Do some things that you enjoy doing. Whether that's going out with the guys going skiing or playing golf. Eat a healthy diet and exercise. Eating healthy and exercise fights depression. Talk to friends that you trust how your feeling and people wo will listen with a non-judgemental attitude.
Last but least, do not contact her. Whether that's through Facebook, phonecalls, unexpected house visits etc.. Also if she contacts you, ignore her and do not contact her back. You can not heal from a relationship when you contact each other. The wounds and memories of her will only deepen and you will never heal nor ever be able to move forward. Also, don't jump into another relationship right away. YOu need to get to know yourself again and rediscover yourself and what you are looking for in a relationship.
Take care of yourself!
dazzleman5776
Apr 6, 2012, 05:40 PM
I've just had a 8 year affair end on a bad note... The past years it seems that my girlfriend would get really mad about simple things like me not answering her phones calls whenever she called or even when I leave her at night to return home.The last straw was when I wasn't there when she was having issues with the plumbing at her house... and yes I know now I should have been there for her not being wrapped up in doing my fitness things... She was sooooo mad that this time she put all my things on the front steps and told me to be on my way in a nasty email... She returned almost everything but the ring I gave her and stuffed animals,pictures... It's been since mar 21st since the breakup and I can't seem to get her off my mind... Even sleeping with other women don't help ease my pain during the daytime hours during the week.I even drove by her house on one night from the gym with jealous feelings being on my mind. I know she's waiting for me to leave my wife before I come back but I can't do that at time.Right now I'm taking care of a ill mom that's on dialsys treatment and no way could I leave her there with my wife if I was to leave for another woman... plus I have 2 young kids... I know deep down I love this woman but I just don't know if I could be faithful if I even did move in with her... because I been cheating on her with other women the whole 8 year affair
Fr_Chuck
Apr 6, 2012, 05:45 PM
Thank God she stopped wasting her time on you. You were not there for her, lead her on for 8 years, was cheating on her the entire time. She was just a long term booty call for you.
You don't seem to care for anyone's feelings but your own lust and needs.
I think it is time to consider how these things effect others and perhaps this may be a wake up call.
And to be honest perhaps the hurt, the harm and the pain may make you realise what you were doing to her.
talaniman
Apr 6, 2012, 10:42 PM
Boy what a deceitful rascal you are. You first came here with issues about your girlfriend, and now we find out you have a wife, sick mother, and two kids, and you are worried about the chick on the side??
Go home, and get your house in order, and take care of your mom.