Hi, I need help. LOL. I've been with this guy over 2 years now. When we first met we started to spend time together for about a week. Then he went away to study but we still kept in touch with each other. We spoke everyday and chatted/video calling every night until he came back for the X-mas holiday. We share times with both our families but we still weren't official. He then went back to study and after a month and half I had stop hearing much from him.

Then via Facebook I found out there was someone else in his life. We stopped speaking to each since he made it official with this girl. Months after he was planning to come back to live in his home country he contacted me and we started chatting, and so forth.

To cut all this long story short. When he came back since he had finish studying, He looked for me. We started seeing each other from the day he came back and its been so for more than an year. And I know he was with this girl but she only visits about every 3 months or for about a week. Meanwhile we spend so much time together and he means the world to me. I spend time with his family and he does the same with mine.

He always says he doesn't know what to do, cause he doesn't know who to choose. And when his girlfriend is here, he keeps calling me and sending frozen drinks to my office. He says he's confused and so forth. He's controlling and he expects me to be like his girlfriend even though we aren't official. He's jealous, doesn't like when I go out. And so forth.

The other day I went through his phone which I don't usually do and I found some text from this other girl. Calling him "babe" and asking when they can hang out. Well, I flipped out and left him, but he says he doesn't have anything with this girl but I think that BS! Someone won't call him babe for any reason. Anyway we settled things a bit, and then I decided to do my own little investigation about this other girl. Found she had a baby and some guy. So added the guy on FB to see who he was and apparently someone told him that I had been doing some investigation, but he didn't tell me anything about it but someone else did. He got mad at me over no reason without explaining.

Its been a week we haven't spoken to each other. He had broke my phone a month ago and he has sent me a new one this week. I really want to know if I should for tell him to decide who he wants to be with, or if I should just move on and find someone who's mine, and I would be their priority not their option... Please help!

You don't need advice or help, you know what you need to do already,


I should just move on and find someone who's mine, and I would be their priority not their option... ,

You just need to do it. Haven't you been lied to, cheated on, controlled, and manipulated long enough?

Respect yourself. Leave this guy because he is just with you for his amusement. You are obviously dealing with a player. Leave him, forget about him, and get with someone who you are not a benchwarmer for. Isn't it obvious that he doesn't care about you? Why would he break up with any of you, he can have all of you, at least until you put your foot down and make him respect you.

Well, my dear the answer I have for you is quite simple. If he started dating you while with someon else (the other woman) then he will most likely do the same to you, if you guys ever become "official". Also when you find yourself looking through his phone (which is never "the right thing to do" unless HE gave you permission) it shows that there is some trust issues there already, now why would you enter an official relationship with someone that you have trust issues with? Then knowing that he dated you when he already had a girlfriend... raises yet another red flag. No matter how torn you are with him, and how much time you spend together, bottom line is he can and most likely possibly will do you like he did the other woman. If he had told you from the beginning that he had another woman and that he also liked you and wanted to date you, then you would have had the opportunity to make that decision for yourself... if you wanted to date a man that was already taken. But he didn't disclose that info to you, which means he may do you the same way next time he meets another woman he likes. Remember: "Sometimes what's good TO you, may not always be good FOR you". Take care and good luck.