At the beginning of the relationship everything was perfect. What sucked was that I lived pretty far away from my boyfriend and couldn't see him often. This was okay at the beginning of the relationship, but into the third month it became a problem. We became sexually active in the second month of our relationship and it was awesome, but once he wasn't around I just sometimes couldn't help to see that there were other men who could satisfy my immediate need.

A little over 3 months into our relationship I cheated on him with two different people at different times. I felt immediate relief from the sex, but I felt so guilty for having done it. It wasn't until a month later when I told him about it. I came to him in tears telling him that I was sorry, I just couldn't control myself. I was just so used to having sex on a daily basis in a previous relationship, that not seeing him for a full month was hard for me. He forgave me and said everything was fine, not to worry. But I had to worry because I knew that the problem wasn't solved yet. I still wouldn't be able to see him on a daily basis and I still was sexually frustrated. So we agreed to an open relationship for a month just to try it out.

Quick recap of the month: The month was awesome, slept with many guys and had my fun. Once it was over, we talked about it to see if we would keep the open relationship. Turns out that he didn't like the idea in the first place. He told me that he was crying every single night because he knew that his man was possibly sleeping with another man at that moment. Upon hearing this I ended the open relationship.

My boyfriend and I just recently moved in together and things started well. I didn't have to worry about cheating with anybody because all the sex I wanted was at my fingertips. Then gradually our sex life started to fall. One of the reasons that I thought as to why it my be falling was because he didn't have enough sexual experience. I was the only person here ever slept with. I suggested that he sleep with other people to get different ideas as to what he could change to spice up our sex life again. He even liked the idea of a threesome. He tried sleeping with someone else and he said that the experience was okay. He said that he preferred me. I told him that that was just one person and that he should try again with someone new. He agreed... but he hasn't done anything about it since. This was a month ago. I've tried to forget about that idea and just focus on us again, but he never seems to be in the mood anymore. And when he IS in the mood, he makes it seem like it's a chore to get me off. Sometimes after I make him ***, he just sits there and smiles and doesn't give a **** that I'm still hard as a rock and ready to explode.

I've talked to him so many times about our sex life, but his usual answer to any of my questions are "nothing" and "I don't know." I just want to know if there is something that I can say to get him in the mood again. Sex is a big thing to me and not at all to him. I'm afraid that one of us will just get so frustrated with the other to the point of a break up. I've been with him for over a year and three months now and I want to keep him... HELP!

You two have VERY different ideas on what a relationship includes. For HIM, I think it includes sexual exclusivity. For you, it's all about the sex, whether it's from him or with him or with him and someone else, or whether you're just getting your rocks off with someone else--whatever. All YOU are thinking about is sex.

What's going on in the REST of your relationship? Do you have intimacy that doesn't come from sex?

Do you understand what masturbation is, and when you should use it?

You don't need to talk about your sex life with your boyfriend. You need to talk about your ENTIRE relationship, and what the expectations are and what the hopes are.

And sorry honey--after being in a relationship for 15 years, I can't feel sorry for someone who can't go a whole month without sex. My husband has just gone for 6 months without it, and will have to go at least another 6 weeks due to complications with my pregnancy. If he had even THOUGHT about asking for an open relationship because he was "used to sex every day", I would have beat his a$$ within an inch of his life before I filed for divorce and alimony. You have to adjust YOUR needs to your partner's for a relationship to work. In return, they adjust THEIR needs to yours. That's called "compromise", and every relationship needs it in order to be successful.