My son-in-law lives in NY; ex lives in Fla. With child. He was ordered per se by mediator during divorce to pay 800.00 month for 1 child. It was done privately, never through a support unit. He has never missed a payment.

During these yrs he had seen his daughter maybe 2 weeks out of the whole yr and minimal phone contact. At a recent visit this summer, she had revealed to us that her mom had told her that he wasn't her father--her new husband was. How do you say this to a five yr old? She's confused and is believing her mom.

Anyway, aside from that, recently because of the economy, my son-in-law's hours were cut at his job, so is unable to pay such a high amount. He went to court in NY to pay just what was mandatory and couldn't be helped because she's in Fla. But we were told that the support is a bit cheaper there, and he'd only have to pay about 200.00 maybe 250.00. He calls his ex to start the proceedings with support unit in Fla. And totally lied and said he had not been paying her all this time, so they have put him 6000.00 in arrears and are now ordering him to pay 900.00 a month due to the lies his ex has told them. He is trying to fight it but we are getting nowhere.

Any solutions from anyone would be greatly appreciated. My son-in-law is now being denied any visitation by his ex and absolutely no phone contact. This woman has harassed not only my son-in-law but also my daughter who has been nothing but loving to their child when she did visit.

They have put liens on my son-in-law's bank account and have wiped it out about 8 months ago of 5000.00 that he had saved due to her lies that he wasn't paying. We have proof of every payment, but the support unit is ignoring it and not crediting him with it, and now she's getting 6000.00 more extra. Please give us any advice on rectifying this situation or advice on how he can terminate his parental rights since his ex's husband is raising her as his own (she calls him dad). At this point, my son-in-law cannot afford a lawyer, so we just need what forms or how to start this process... thank you -- denise f

There is a divorce decree requiring him to pay $800 per month? Was the divorce in a Florida court?


... He calls his ex to start the proceedings with supprt unit in fla. ...

He should have contacted the support unit directly.



... My son in law is now being denied any visitation by his ex and absolutely no phone contact.
Support and visitiation are not related to each other at all. If he owes support he owes it without regard to whether he is being given visitation.


...If anyone can give us ... advice on how he can terminate his parental rights ...

He can't, unless the step-father is going to adopt the child. Did you read this (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/signing-over-rights-read-first-116098.html)?

I believe the divorce was in fla and he did agree to pay the 800.00 to his ex, like I said they did it orally and not by a support unit. At the time he was doing great at his job, he was alone and able to afford it. He wanted his daughter to have the best. She is 6 and he has made every payment. His ex has 3 other children by 3 different men and doesn't go after them for support, they work off the books so they can escape it. He tried to explain the situation to her about his hours being changed he had more bills and just couldn't send that amount. He asked her to go to support unit in fla. And start the proceedings to deduct what was mandatory to pay because by the info we were given by the support unit in ny he'd only have to pay 200 to 250 a month. I don't no what she said to them or what there looking at but its only 1 child and he makes nowhere what he made years ago

I understand support and visitation are separate he has always paid his support, we have the proof bank transactions on both parts but the support unit in fla. Is choosing to ignore it and not crediting him, instead there putting him in arrears. We don't know how to get them to change this

HE, and not her, needs to ask for a modification of the support order. His ex didn't set the support order, a court, or department of child support enforcement did, and only they can modify it. He made a mistake by not getting court ordered support in the beginning. Generally contributions outside of a support order are considered to be gifts, although if he is able to prove that he made these payments pursuant to a mediated agreement during their divorce, a judge may listen. It looks like he dropped the ball and didn't return some paperwork if state guidelines suggest that he should be paying 250.00 monthly and he has been ordered to pay 900.00. He could have asked for a modification once his income changed, has he done so?

What has he done about visitation? Has he filed for it and gone back to the court when she violated the order by not allowing him to visit? Or again, has he depended on his ex to make decisions that are beneficial to him. It seems from your question that there is a great deal that he could have done to help himself that hasn't been done. Looking at the items I mentioned would be a good place to start.

AK Lawyer is correct. He can forget about signing over rights if her step-father doesn't want to adopt. But, if he is fighting to see this child and thinks that her mother is poisoning her mind, why would he want to leave his child with her?

I am sorry it was not vebal, it may have been in mediation which was then signed and signed by a judge, but child support is by court order.

Only a court order modification can change how much he pays, He ( not his ex) IS suppose to file for the change. He may be able to do it without going to Fla by merely sending in the supporting evidence of his new income.

Next if he wants more phone calls, he should ask for it in court, my friend has it where the ex is required to have the child available on a certain date and time for a video call on computer every week.

Also unless he really is not the father ( did he ever get a DNA test? ) he can not just sign over his rights, unless the new husband wants to adopt.

He can even file to get the mom to have the child in counseling and to correct any lies told the child.

Next, he needs to file in court to have the child support corrected, if they indeed really take too much, that is easy to prove