Okay, so this may be long. I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year, we've been best friends for 2 years. His mom passed away about a year ago, and it's been very difficult to go through. Through the whole time we have spent a lot of time together, I've helped him through a lot, and he's done the same for me. Several months ago he proposed to me and I accepted, I was very excited. We moved in together too, and that was great. I love living with him, it makes me happier than I thought I ever could be.

But just recently he's become more distant, when we fight he suggests us taking a break, he isn't as affectionate as normal, it all really bothers me. I'm afraid he doesn't need me anymore.

The other day he went to his aunts house to talk about getting a second vehicle (she controlled how he spent the life insurance money) and she told him that she didn't feel that he was a part of their family anymore, he came home pretty upset and told me I needed to go stay with my parents for a while so he can be a part of his family.

My parents live an hour away, I don't have a car for myself, I have two jobs here that I wouldn't be able to get too and I would most definitely get fired from. I cried a lot, because well I figure that a 'break' ends in 'breaking up' and I really love him and I don't want to lose him.

He said that we could try to work something out to where he 're-connects' or whatever with his family with me living here. He said with me here he has a reason not to spend time with his family.

I don't have many friends, none that I can talk to, and I'm an emotional wreck. I can't think, I can't figure this out. Could it work? Are there tips to help it work?
Am I just crazy and reading into things too much? Does he really want a break?

Does he still love me?

Its sounds more like he and you are financially strapped, and dependent on his family, that's the source of this stress. Am I correct?

Why is he not visiting his family, and using you for an excuse? How do you get along with them? Why isn't your two jobs enough for a second car? How old are you both, and how many jobs does he have? Are you renting, or buying? Whose house is it? Need more info!

I agree.

You both decided to enter this relationship together.

That comes with the good & bad. Rolling with the punches. Overcoming things.

Maybe he was never ready. Is he? Are you?

You made it sound like he has lately been detached from you and it sounds like he is detached from his family. Maybe he is depressed. His mom did die. Sorry for being blunt about it. But that's what it sounds like to me.

It definitely sounds like depression. You need to let him sort his stuff out on his own. Also "I'm afraid he doesn't need me anymore" is very wrong. There is no need for him to NEED you, in fact, dependency is a sickness. If he is feeling like he needs to reconnect from his family, and he considers you a distraction from that goal then maybe you need to go. Respect his wishes. If he is distant, is because he is thinking about other things, pretty understandable if you ask me.

His aunt gave him a check for the rest of the insurance money, so they are no longer financially strapping. Money has never been a thing we've fought over and that hasn't changed, it isn't money.
I asked him why he didn't visit family, he said he didn't really want too.
I get along with them well, as far as I know they like me, but being wrong is something I'm good at.
I work at two restaurants and he works at one and a gas station. We both have two jobs.
Therefore the lack of money for another vehicle.
Were both 18.
We're renting, it's in our names.
We do overcome things, we've come this far, right? I know this is a tough situation, I just get a lot of anxiety and when I start constantly having panic attacks and having to play pretend happy, it gets to me, really fast.
I'm aware of his battle with depression, we share the same battle, and we fight it together.
I fully respect his wishes, when we had the conversation about me leaving I told him that the choice was up to him, completely. If he wanted me to leave I would have left.

Respect to your efforts. And his.

The first thing is to make sure that you are happy & secure.
That means priorities. Sometimes its day to day & baby steps.
Making sure that you change, for you. And what's best for you.

I know how that goes. Living week to week, or month to month.

Sometimes its not about everyone else's thing. Its about yours.
What do you want? Are you feeling good & happy?

What's the worst thing? What's the best?

I'm really feeling for you,sounds like you are having a tough time. Going through something similar at the moment and its hard, feeling helpless.
Losing a parent is every child's nightmare, Ive found that it doesn't just stop there. My girlfriend/ex's mum is terminally ill,I noticed that when she was 1st diagnosed with it my ex distanced herself from her family & mum a lot and chose to spend the time with me. Obviously I helped take her mind off things & she found safety there (which is what happened with you in your relationship) now looking back I can see that this was her way of running away and hiding from the issue (she has since stepped up to the plate in dealing with her issues & spending time with her mum). With you I think he's still grieving by the sounds of things, its great that you guys had each other and you must have been of immense support to him.
It's a complicated situation but certainly does not mean he doesn't love you anymore. Just simply that he needs to reconnect with his family. They are all grieving together and both sides need to support each other. Maybe they are worried about him being so absent from their lives? Allow him time to be with his family no matter how much it hurts you because remember this is about him healing from his loss and right now he can't be there for you in the way you need him to be in the relationship.

Take time to focus on yourself. I'm sure its been a very stressful time for you too? You had to be his rock and now you are getting a small break. Sit down and work things out about living arrangements, maybe you could travel home some weekends when not working? He can also go and spend a few nights a week with family and you can have a friend over for company? You shouldn't have to bend over backwards with regards living arrangements.

You treat a break like it is a break up in the sense that you give the other person time and space to be on their own for a bit but most importantly its about you moving on and becoming that strong independent person you were when he first got close with you. You had a life of you own before so its important to get that back on track and start living for you.
Once you both get your lives as individuals back on track then when the time is right who is to say that you both can't reconnect?
Try not to take this in a negative way. Be strong. Carry on. Use your family as support. He knows you love him.