I know a male buddy for many many years. He is a jovial and fun chap. I am the shy and quiet person and he loves to matchmake me with people he knows. He himself is a single but he knows he will be attached easily because he he is good looking and capable except his 'ideal' lady has not appeared yet.

Two weeks ago, while we were in a chinese restaurant and being served by an elderly Mainland waitress who asked if I were liked the dishes to be served quickly. And I said it's fine. And she added if I would like to ask my husband first (referring to him who had gone to the washroom). I replied that nope he was my friend and not husband and he should be fine. But I didn't realized he just returned from the washroom and was just standing behind him.

When he sat down, his mood changed and he asked me if I ever consider him. I was stunned and dumb founded. He told our group friends that I was not his ideal; he likes to be with me because I am gentle and will not run him down. So, it did not cross my mind to consider him at all because I am his dreamgirl (I am right opposite of his dreamgirl). And when he repeated his question again whether I have ever considered him and I shook my head.

His ego was crushed and he told me that I should not have misled him by going out with him. Now that he has revealed his feelings and I thought it through. I really like him a lot and a lot. Eversince that incident, he does not call or text or write to me. I wrote to him to tell him how much he means to me and explained that when I said I never consider him, I did not mean I will not consider him and that we should talk. But he refused.

For a guy, does it mean he will let go this relationship totally?

His ego maybe hurt a little but he should be able to shake it off. Give him some time if he is smart he will come around. I didn't like the fact disguised this courtship as friendship. But don't call him your trying save this friendship because if it was a friendship he wouldn't have cut you off.

Thanks for your reply. It hurts me too. I felt so lousy after the incident. I am worried about how he is feeling. Since he is so egoistic, I do not know how he is coping with it. And I miss him terribly too.

If I am a treasured friend, do you think he would want to have a 1-1 talk about this again?

I think he over reacted over nothing, and should feel stupid, and come to his senses, and apologize, for being a big baby, IF he were a real friend.

Give him time.

Hi Talaniman

Thank you for your advice. The sentences that you highlighted in green, red, blue and brown really help me to STAY FLOAT again and it KNOCKS senses into me. At least, I now do not blame myself for not handling the situation well and causing him hurt.

Losing someone that I like is hard but if our thoughts and way of handling things are different and if we do not have mutual understanding and respect, I believe down the road we are going to face more issues. I always hope to have a relationship to be a blessings to people around us and it looks like for this case, it is not. Well, if he comes to his senses we will both will cross the hurdle together. If not, it is better to know early, let it go and forget the whole incident and not dwell in misery.

I am so glad that I post this question at this website and received yours and 'MarriedGuy''s advice. Thank you so much and may GOD bless you both.

Rejection affects each person differently, wait for him to get over you rejecting him and take things from there, be his friend till then.

No matter what happened, he will always be dear to me. I just need to understand that he chose to think differently and I need to respect his view and way of handling matter. Thank you for your advice.