anonymous001100
Oct 18, 2011, 08:12 AM
Some background:
I've been best friends with this girl since we were little kids. Our families are best friends. I'm very close with her family, and my friend and I, let's call her Rebecca, spend a very large amount of time together - we go to the same school and hang out on weekends, after school, and whenever we have time.
She just transferred to my school because her old school closed, and we're in the same grade, but in none of the same classes. Even so, we spend some time together during school.
Lately, since about 3ish weeks now, she's been extremely, uncharacteristically critical, hypocritical, and controlling.
For example, she's called me a baby about 10 times in the past 3 weeks. In one situation, I said "I'm so tired, ugh, I feel like I won't be able to function today" because I got 5 hours of sleep that night, and it really affected me because I usually need 9 and my body responds very sensitively to when I lose sleep. She said "you're being a baby. Wake up."
In another situation, I accidentally leaned back and hit my head on the hard back of her couch. It hurt - not terribly, but it hurt. I said "ugh, ow" quietly, and she asked me what was wrong, and I told her. She said "_____,you're being a baby." she called me a baby for having the normal human reflex of expressing pain. I didn't scream or anything - if she wasn't right next to me, she wouldn't have heard me mutter "ow".
In another situation, we were talking with a neighbor about babysitting. This neighbor asked me if I'd be able to babysit on Saturday nights or sundays. I said "I'd rather babysit on saturday nights - on sundays I'm usually busy with homework." and my friend said "______ (my name), don't tell her you're so busssy with hommmeeworkkk on sundays", sarcastically, implying that I couldn't possibly be as busy as I say I am. She doesn't believe me when I tell her that I have to work really hard on homework, that it's difficult for me to study for tests, and that I lose sleep and get stressed over schoolwork. She thinks it's my fault or something. I have a lot of work because my teachers give me a lot of work, and maybe hers don't. But when this friend can't relate to something I'm going through, lately she assumes that it's because I did something wrong, or that what I'm saying isn't true - that it couldn't possibly be as difficult as I say it is.
And later, she refused my offer to go see a movie the next day because she said she has to study for a big test. So, in this situation, it seems like she thinks it's unnacceptable for me to refuse something because I'm busy with schoolwork, but it's fine for her to do it.
She's being very unsensitive, overly critical, and lately she has been patronizing me - telling me how to do something as if I don't know how to do it, or because she thinks I'll do it wrong, and treating me the way she treats her little 5 year old sister. It's terrible, and it makes me not want to spend time with her when she acts this way, but I'd never want to lose her as a friend because she really is the best friend I've ever had, we're extremely close, like sisters, and I don't know what's causing her to act like this - maybe it's something I've done, or something else that's causing her to act like this.
Please tell me how to resolve this, how to talk to her about this, and what you think I should do. Ignoring her or being mean back to her is not an option. We need to work this out calmly, rationally, and sensitively.
Thank you.
I've been best friends with this girl since we were little kids. Our families are best friends. I'm very close with her family, and my friend and I, let's call her Rebecca, spend a very large amount of time together - we go to the same school and hang out on weekends, after school, and whenever we have time.
She just transferred to my school because her old school closed, and we're in the same grade, but in none of the same classes. Even so, we spend some time together during school.
Lately, since about 3ish weeks now, she's been extremely, uncharacteristically critical, hypocritical, and controlling.
For example, she's called me a baby about 10 times in the past 3 weeks. In one situation, I said "I'm so tired, ugh, I feel like I won't be able to function today" because I got 5 hours of sleep that night, and it really affected me because I usually need 9 and my body responds very sensitively to when I lose sleep. She said "you're being a baby. Wake up."
In another situation, I accidentally leaned back and hit my head on the hard back of her couch. It hurt - not terribly, but it hurt. I said "ugh, ow" quietly, and she asked me what was wrong, and I told her. She said "_____,you're being a baby." she called me a baby for having the normal human reflex of expressing pain. I didn't scream or anything - if she wasn't right next to me, she wouldn't have heard me mutter "ow".
In another situation, we were talking with a neighbor about babysitting. This neighbor asked me if I'd be able to babysit on Saturday nights or sundays. I said "I'd rather babysit on saturday nights - on sundays I'm usually busy with homework." and my friend said "______ (my name), don't tell her you're so busssy with hommmeeworkkk on sundays", sarcastically, implying that I couldn't possibly be as busy as I say I am. She doesn't believe me when I tell her that I have to work really hard on homework, that it's difficult for me to study for tests, and that I lose sleep and get stressed over schoolwork. She thinks it's my fault or something. I have a lot of work because my teachers give me a lot of work, and maybe hers don't. But when this friend can't relate to something I'm going through, lately she assumes that it's because I did something wrong, or that what I'm saying isn't true - that it couldn't possibly be as difficult as I say it is.
And later, she refused my offer to go see a movie the next day because she said she has to study for a big test. So, in this situation, it seems like she thinks it's unnacceptable for me to refuse something because I'm busy with schoolwork, but it's fine for her to do it.
She's being very unsensitive, overly critical, and lately she has been patronizing me - telling me how to do something as if I don't know how to do it, or because she thinks I'll do it wrong, and treating me the way she treats her little 5 year old sister. It's terrible, and it makes me not want to spend time with her when she acts this way, but I'd never want to lose her as a friend because she really is the best friend I've ever had, we're extremely close, like sisters, and I don't know what's causing her to act like this - maybe it's something I've done, or something else that's causing her to act like this.
Please tell me how to resolve this, how to talk to her about this, and what you think I should do. Ignoring her or being mean back to her is not an option. We need to work this out calmly, rationally, and sensitively.
Thank you.