So I might have depression, and I want to be diagnosed to see if I actually do, but I don't want my parents knowing about it. I don't know what to do can someone help please. Thanks

Being diagnosed isn't what matters; being treated is. Although there are criteria they are mainly for insurance purposes. If you feel depressed (sad, tired, anxious, morbid thoughts, life isn't worth it, no one likes you, can't sleep, sleep too much, can't eat, eat too much, can't concentrate, are forgetful, cry for no reason or any reason, dwell on one event, feel like a heavy weight is on you) then you are depressed, and the best treatment is therapy and possibly a medication. If you can find a peer group, that's an excellent start and sometimes helps so much that you don't need anything else. If you are thinking of ways to kill yourself and have urges to follow through, go see a doctor or therapist.

I understand that parents can get all worked up or resentful or overly concerned, but in your case, what do you think will happen? And how old are you?

I'm 19 and yes I have almost all of what you listed. Thank you!

If you were depressed you would be slitting your rists or making suicide attempts thinking that you don't mean anything, when you have to try and think about all the positive things such as friends, family, and your future:)

if you were depressed you would be slitting your rists or making suicide attempts thinking that you dont mean anything, when you have to try and think about all the positive things such as friends, family, and your future:)


This is absolutely untrue and incorrect. Many, many people live with depression and are NOT suicidal.

Please - be careful when you give advice.

JudyKayTee is right.

JudyKayTee is right.


Thanks - I really appreciate that. I wouldn't want anyone to think suicidal thoughts are a "depression requirement" or a LOT of people would go undiagnosed.

Your welcome I just really want to seek some help without my parents knowing. Nobody knows except a close friend of mine.

Your welcome I just really want to seek some help without my parents knowing. Nobody knows except a close friend of mine.


Is there a trust adult, perhaps a relative, a friend - by adult I mean someone you can trust, someone with good judgment - who can refer you to someone, talk to you? There are resources, undoubtedly, where you are and you need to locate them.

Sometimes just an understanding friend can be a big help.

Depression is not uncommon so there is no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed. However, if your parents will not understand, why complicate things?

One of the main reasons parents don't react with understanding to a child's depression is that they feel that is their fault, that they are bad parents. They cry or get angry or might just get overly involved and concerned. At 19 you are an adult, so don't need their permission, but IF they can help such as if you are still on their insurance while at school, then think of a way to tell them that emphasizes your current adult life and future.
Taking care of depression early is important. There is evidence that it settles into your chemistry over years if you let it go.

Yeah I understand and thank you everyone. I just need someone to understand and not freak out on me like I know for sure that my parents will and I can't take that right now. I told one of my friends and she completely understood what I was going through, my other friend didn't take it very well and she is my best friend. I had depression last year and it went away for awhile and now it's just worse. I think its best for me to get medical help but I have no way to get there because I don't have a car yet but I will be getting one soon I think and yeah I believe my parents will not understand because I never tell them anything because my mom freaks out on the smallest things.

Anything you can share here that might help you understand why you are feeling depressed? This is no substitute for appropriate medical care but sometimes it helps if someone listens.

Well I have been having relationship problems, I have low self esteem, I don't have a job, family issues, and I feel bored all the time, and I feel lonely. Even when I see people and then when I have to leave I feel lonely right afterwards. My moods change real quickly and I'm just tired of feeling this way. I wish it would just go away, but I know it will probably come back. My relationship has made me more depressed than anything though and I'm tired of being treated like crap, but I don't have the guts to tell him how I feel. I keep everything bottled up inside me until I break down.

Why are you still in a relationship where you feel treated poorly?
One thing that a therapist or a group therapy will help with is finding out why you can't tell people how you feel. I suppose if your parents jump on every little thing, that's a start. That shouldn't necessarily carry over to a boyfriend though, so examine that one part of your character. Leave the rest aside for a moment. So.. why are you still with this guy?

To be honest I have no idea. I guess it's just hard because I have been friends with him and have dated him for 4 years. It's hard for me to speak my mind and we don't talk about our problems at all, but I want to, but he never tells me how he feels. People always tell me that he's not treating you right and they give me advice, but I just get too scared to say it even though I agree. So I just deal with it and just hold everything inside which isn't good at all.