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View Full Version : She cheated on me! Shall I be tolerant even if she didn't really apologize?


mike111
Oct 15, 2011, 07:15 PM
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 4 months. I know that 4 months is not a long period, but we almost see each other every day, and we stay together for a minimum of 4 hours a day. That's mean that we had long time together, we were in love after 3 weeks. I really loved her so much, and I was honest with her. She gave me love.

We used to be in contact all the time by texting, and I didn't t feel anything wrong with her. Until one day I checked her cell phone and I found out a message sent in which, it was written so, "hello darling how are you? I really miss you, and I need you so much, miss you. Have a nice day"

I was shocked and wondered who is this person. I saved his number on my cell ,and then I left her and told her that she cheated me. After that she said to me the message that I read was written by her friend to her boyfriend, and her friend can use her phone any time.

So I called the number to whom the message was sent and I found out that he was her boyfriend for 3 years, and he said that in the past 4 months the relationship became cold and it is almost over, but he said that they didn't t broke up. I told her that I knew the truth and that she lied to me, and cheated on me, but she said that she loves me so much and the reason that she sent the message was to give her ex or her complicated boy friend hope to come back to her, and then tell him that she found her love and that it is too late to apologize, because he become cold with her, and she told me that I am the only one in her life now, and she is going the change her mobile number, and stay with me from now on.

I didn't t even try to understand this and I told her to go away, and I broke up with her because she is a liar and a cheater. The problem that I still love her, and I don t know if I should come back to her, or forgive her, and trust her again? She called me with her new number and told me that she no longer can live without me, and that she is waiting for me to come back.

But she didn't t apologize. I feel that she doesn't t consider it as she cheated me. She always says that she didn't cheat on me. Please tell me what should I do. Can I trust her?

talaniman
Oct 16, 2011, 12:45 PM
If she has not apologized then there is nothing to forgive, and no trust to be restored is there? My opinion, though you snooped, she lied, and didn't apologize, and for now that's the end of this story.

Don't worry about what she does for now, just know you did what you had to do, and leave it at that and heal from the loss, and this experience.

If she does nothing, then there is nothing left for you to do but keep your own dignity, and self respect.

vanheart
Oct 16, 2011, 05:15 PM
"we were in love after 3 weeks"

Damn. You're quick.

You didn't trust her from the get go.
Got with a girl that hasn't gotten over her ex yet. You found that out? Huh?

Snooping isn't good. Neither is lying. Guess you cancel each other out.
How old are you?

mike111
Oct 17, 2011, 04:53 AM
Thank you all,she said that her relation with him was to take revenge for her friend ,he was her friend s boyfriend and then he changed his mind and wanted to get her and replace her friend by her ,so she and her friend decided to take revenge and after she met me she found true love ,and now she calls me evry day and send messages from her new cellphone number ,and she always says that her relation with him was just a game ,and now she is asking for forgivness ,I don't know what to do guys,it is my first love am 24 years old she is 27 years ,maybe she will do this again maybe she doesn't t love me ,maybe she is lying ?and maybe she is honesst now ,shall I give her a second chance and see ,or I would be cheap if I do so?
Thank you all.

talaniman
Oct 17, 2011, 11:59 AM
That's some game she was playing and maybe you should be aware of that she will play games with people. Do you believe her? That's the key, or are you just afraid of letting go, and moving beyond this experience. Just because its your first, doesn't by any means suggest this will be your last relationship, or your best one either.

When you are confused, and undecided, its often best to back up, and get more facts because its important in any relationship to have a partner that not only deserves your heart, but knows what to do with it, so make sure her sweet words of love match her actions, before you give her a bunch of trust. To have trust, there must be HONESTY.

Do you believe her story? Give it thought.

amitsurve
Oct 20, 2011, 02:26 AM
Forgive her.open all truth you know about her.talk to her make her realize how mch you are in pain.u need to confirm is der any love for you