So my 2 year relationship ended about a 2 months ago. I was her first boyfriend and it was my first real relationship. She ended it by saying I think we are meant to be together but I need to make sure. To me this is just a way of keeping me on the back burner whether it was intentional or not. She told me this when she started dating her best friend. They started dating about a week ago and he goes to college in DC and she goes to college in PA. All they do is send each other little messages about "oh today is Taiwan's annnextion day so lets celebrate." and when they are together they just drink and stay up all night. Yet she says she cares for me still. I have done no contact and eventually we reconnected we started to see each other a bit and then the best friend came into the picture. I got mad at her calling her a manipulative ***** and the such. After that we talked a little later and calmly talked about it and figure out just happened. Its to the point where I consider myself a failure and I have thought about hurting myself and I told her this. SHe kept telling me that she was there for me and would be devastated if I did something to myself. She, like I said, said that she thinks we were meant to be but wants to make sure of it and asking me "Wouldnt you rather know that know one else is good enough for me but you?" what am I suppose to do. I want to do no contact again but I fear I would lose her completely (not the goal here)

In my opinion, I would do no contact. Maybe she is right, if she feels there might be someone better for her than you, maybe she's not the right one for you and you would be happier with someone else. Although you are comfortable with her after 2 years, as anyone would be, if she's not sure about the relationship, let her go, if it was meant to be it will be, but in the mean time you need to get out and date and you'll probably find someone that will care about you and your feelings. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, you need to talk to someone about it, a professional, a friend, somebody. I've been in this type of situation as well, it gets better.