All threads have been merged into one to keep the story in one place

I am Iranian and so is she, and she is my 3rd cousin and if your wondering its completely fine and normal in Iran and she is 19 and I am 18 when I was 9 I moved to England with my parents and everything is going good here. Even though I was a child while I was in Iran I always had a thing for her and I was sure she did until I left Iran with family.

We wasn't in contact properly maybe every now and then when family's phoned to say hello we will just say hello to each other as well.. But this 9 years I was in the UK I always thought of her and never look at any other girl. Recently this year me and my family went back to Iran to see family. But as we are now teenagers and Iran is a country with dumb cultures it was hard to be able to get her on her own and speak to her. Some how I managed to get her on her own through my parents and speak to her and said to her that I love her and would like her to finish her studies and same with me so one day we can get married.

Her reply was kind of confusing for me I know that her family specially her dad is VERY sensitive on her and if he found out she was talking to a guy about these kind of things he will hit her so much she will end up in hospital.. So she said that I made a mistake by not telling her any earlier than this and left it for 9 years... It is hard for her to fall in love with someone in just a day or two, and also her dad will never accept her and me being together and she can't be in love with someone while she is doing her studies as it will ruin it all for her as she will loose concentration.. So I said OK and I finished the conversation there..

Now I know that her parents love me to bits and know me as a good person. I think she does like me but as she is scared of her parents she can not show it.. Plus when I got back I was texting here every day and night for about a week I didn't get any reply as I know that we can send sms to Iran from UK but they can not send sms back as there is a block in Iran due to the sanctions, but I got a email from her asking nicely to stop sending her messages as her dad will see them as he regularly checks her phone.

So I stopped but I don't want her to think that I don't think of her! I actually think of her 24/7, if I don't get in touch with her she is just going to think I forgot about her right? Even on the way back to UK she told my mum to apologies from me as she can't give me a proper goodbye as it will make her dad realize what's going on so I don't know if she is just scared of her dad or she actually doesn't like me.. Thanks !

Ben_512

Welcome to this beautiful site, first!

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/should-keep-waiting-give-up-does-she-love-me-603153.html



This is where your question, with a little change of words, appers already. AVOID REPEATING. Its against the rules of the site.

Wait and watch, but do not forget her. She will not forget you, remember. You are made for each other, keep my word in your mind, firmly.

Do not think of giving up!
Life is beautiful, and it has many ways, many options, many alternatives. There will be some WAYOUT one day.

Is not it?

Thanks :) the only reason I repeated is because I had no answers.. but thank you for your great answer I hope it goes as you say.. I waited 9 years il wait a couple more ! What harm can it cause /

Ben_512

I know the condition of love in Iran and other Muslim and Arab countries where hate often suppresses love, or love is killed with/by hate. So, only wait is the answer.

Only you have to think of any other option, as it is really such a tragic condition about which I daily read, or such stuff. I sympathise with you, no doubt, but do not give up hope. Miracles do happen. And, there can be some scheme, think of it!

Share more about you, and her, and prospects of their family getting here, or you goin' and meetin' her anyhow... Is there any chance? Can not you email your emotions somehow to her?

Please click at HELPFUL, if my answer helps or gives a little solace.

like I said she is my niece so whenever I go to iran I will see her and I am aiming to go again next year.. But she knows how I feel about her because I told her when I went earlier this year..
The main things she said was that she doesn't want to fall in love with anyone while she has just started her studies as she knows it will harm them and it will make her fail.. secondly she said I can't fall in love with some one in a couple of days I know all these are small signs of her liking me but the thing that makes me think twice is that for 30 days I was there she could have easily said one thing that would have made me know she is interested and I would have waited. But I don't know why she didn't maybe she doesn't like me or she is just scared if she shows any Love maybe I will act childish and make her dad find out and she will get into trouble..

Do you think I did the wrong thing speaking with her? Should I of left it for a few years and then proposed to her properly?
I can't email her as her Dad wouldn't let her on the computer, and her phone I have her number but I was there and witnessed it myself her dad takes her phone of her randomly and checks so she wouldn't like me texting her.. my grandma which is in iran is aware of the case and I can pass any message to her...
ALSO its her Birthday in a few days I was going to send her a present but my parents said you will blow everything to her dad if you do so just don't if you want it to stay a secret.. but I want to send her a nice text any ideas?

Ok this girl is far family and I live in the UK while she lives in another country, but I vist like every year, I am 19 and she is also 19 last time I visited her I told her that I have liked her for 4 years and didn't let her know, it all came as a shock to her and said she doesn't feel the same and that she didn't know and she can't fall in love over a few days and her family will not accept it.
But for some reason I have always and still think there is a connection there but she is either testing me or she I just scared of her over protective parents.
Since I have been back to the UK and kept contact but kind of went over the top recently and she sent me a text saying that she has already told me she just likes me as family and not in other way but I love her so much that I can't just take it on the chin like if you get rejected by a normal girl.
Also I am thinking if I should just stop all contact with here from now till I go back next time and just propose to her one last time and see what happens? If you need more info please ask otherwise I can go on for ever :D

Propose? Not with this ring I thee wed!? I sure hope not

She has made her feelings very very clear to you don't let your emotions distort reality!
It is easily done.

O bet you went totally mental over her after she rejected her right? Saying sweet things and doing anything and saying anything that's why she told you to back off

Now I would back off big time or risk losing her all. Together you may love her but she does nor feel the same way
Best thing you can do is go no contact and find things that will take your mind off her and start to heal!

Perhaps she doesn't like the idea of a LDR?

You "went over the top" and she told you she wasn't interested.

Maybe proposing to her is just one more step over the top and a little bit off the wall.

I think you should just give this up and look for someone that would be interested in you rather than going after someone from another country who also happens to be "family".

Hi guy, your questions were put together, as you have many about the same thing and its very confusing when you leave out a lot of important details. While I understand you want advice and responses, making new questions is not the way to go. Instead give feedback here on one question instead of copy paste, or changing the story.

Having said all that, your dilemma is that you have made her some type of project to marry for a long time, and she has not known, or not sure if she feels the same way. I don't know how she feels but I suggest you take no action that will cause trouble for her, and listen to the wise counsel of your family members.

There is NOTHING you can, or should do while she is in school so try to control yourself until then and enjoy yourself until more is revealed later... MUCH LATER!!