justnotsure
Oct 11, 2011, 06:55 PM
Here's the deal. I'm 18 and just graduated from our high school. He is 17 and finishing his senior year. I originally just wanted a casual relationship until my ex solves his legal issues (that's a whole other story) but we ended up getting close rather quickly.
My boyfriend has some sort of mental disorder due to his umbilical cord being wrapped around his neck during his mother's pregnancy but he does not look or act like he has any sort of handicap other than being shy. He used to be completely dependent on his mother until recent years when he learned to do things on his own. They are still extremely close and she is basically his spokes person. Naturally, I have grown close him, his mother and his 4 brothers so much that they consider me part of the family; I stayed at their house for a week and a half to help his mother recover from surgery. The problem is, he has no sex drive. None. Ever. He said he has never desired sex and when I asked if he ever had a boner, he replied "I don't know." He assures me that he finds me beautiful and attractive and that he loves me, but when I asked what he would do if he saw me naked, he just shrugged. He never masturbated or looked at porn. We have spent nights together in the same bed but nothing has happened other than cuddling. It also took him months to kiss me, which has never evolved beyond the one second peck on the lips. I have been on birth control for 2 years due to having PMDD. My sex drive is not insanely high, but I still desire sexual intimacy, as I did during previous relationships. We've been together for about 4 months.
It took me a long time to open up sexually since I was raised thinking sex was a bad thing (my mother is a rape victim, my father is protective, my mother's ex was very conservative, school convinces you that any kind of risk taking is bad, etc) and I don't want to be a hypocrite since I was angry when exes did not wait for me. The problem with talking to him about it is that he shares everything with his mother, which I usually don't mind, but I'd rather keep that sort of thing private. There are many men who find me sexually desirable, but I would feel whore-y if I broke up with him for a reason like that. I am willing to wait a bit until he may be ready, but I feel like he should have developed a sex drive by now and will not any time soon. Advice, please?
My boyfriend has some sort of mental disorder due to his umbilical cord being wrapped around his neck during his mother's pregnancy but he does not look or act like he has any sort of handicap other than being shy. He used to be completely dependent on his mother until recent years when he learned to do things on his own. They are still extremely close and she is basically his spokes person. Naturally, I have grown close him, his mother and his 4 brothers so much that they consider me part of the family; I stayed at their house for a week and a half to help his mother recover from surgery. The problem is, he has no sex drive. None. Ever. He said he has never desired sex and when I asked if he ever had a boner, he replied "I don't know." He assures me that he finds me beautiful and attractive and that he loves me, but when I asked what he would do if he saw me naked, he just shrugged. He never masturbated or looked at porn. We have spent nights together in the same bed but nothing has happened other than cuddling. It also took him months to kiss me, which has never evolved beyond the one second peck on the lips. I have been on birth control for 2 years due to having PMDD. My sex drive is not insanely high, but I still desire sexual intimacy, as I did during previous relationships. We've been together for about 4 months.
It took me a long time to open up sexually since I was raised thinking sex was a bad thing (my mother is a rape victim, my father is protective, my mother's ex was very conservative, school convinces you that any kind of risk taking is bad, etc) and I don't want to be a hypocrite since I was angry when exes did not wait for me. The problem with talking to him about it is that he shares everything with his mother, which I usually don't mind, but I'd rather keep that sort of thing private. There are many men who find me sexually desirable, but I would feel whore-y if I broke up with him for a reason like that. I am willing to wait a bit until he may be ready, but I feel like he should have developed a sex drive by now and will not any time soon. Advice, please?