I lied to my boyfriend about my past.
I have been steady with my boyfriend for more than a year now. I came from a small town and had religious parents.

My boyfriend was my first boyfriend and he was the first person I had sex with. I transferred to the city 2 years ago and that's where I met my boy friend.
Knowing about my background my boyfriend assumed that I was as pure as an angel and he told me a big part of why he loves me and why I'm so special to him is cause of me being an innocent.

After he told me this I got scared of telling him the truth that I did make out with a couple of guys before and I even did as far as foreplay with 1 guy.

Halfway during our relationship he cheated on me with this girl they had sex, I asked him once before he denied it.. but I kept on hearing about it from other people because of this I decided to break up with him.

After 2 weeks of break up we started getting back again, I asked him and he admitted he promise that he won't ever do it again and that he'll never hide anything to me ever again.
Yesterday, one of the past guys that I made out with emailed me and it just so happens that my boyfriend was using my account, he saw our past conversation which had the word "babe, kiss, miss..etc" on it. He got pissed and he started questioning me about it.. I panicked cause I got scared and I lied AGAIN.

The lies are making me so guilty! I don't want to lie anymore but I don't know what to do. :( I want to tell him everything but there's a chance that he won't forgive me and I can't stand that either.

What should I do? Its bothering me all the time. :(

Neri24,

Welcome to this beautiful site, first!

Your dilemma is really so knotty. You have to decide between 'reveal' or 'conceal', and even as it was easy at the earlier stage, it is difficult now. Still, fact is fact, and it is better you come clean. After all, he also has been forgiven by you, on the same account. Is not it?

I do not think anything would come out of hiding the facts? Is not it?

Stop lying, that's a start, and stand up for yourself. Your fear of losing this fellow has poisoned this relationship and built it on lies, and assumptions. Is that why you forgave his lying cheating, because you are a liar also?

Come clean, because if you can forgive him for lying and cheating, then he can forgive you for lying, and making out before you met him, RIGHT?

If he cannot, then you will always have guilt, and more lying, and this relationship is a sham. It won't survive under those circumstances.

Its best to tell the truth. A relationship cannot last on lies. If you you keep trying to cover up your lies, it will only make it worse.