My mother has always drank. But since my Father passed away more than 2 months ago I don't think she has been sober for a single day. She has started to become nasty to me and my children. I live in an apartment upstairs in a double that was left to her by her parents. I moved here to help her with up keep and I thought it would be good for her being as her and my father divorced more than 27 years ago. She has been alone since my youngest brother moved out to get married. She is using my fathers death as an excuse to live in the bottle. I'm at a loss as to what I should do. I love her but I can not take much more of her actions. She is almost 70 years old and seems like she wants to drink herself to death not caring who she hurts on the way out. I think she just needs some time to dry out then she will see things in the right light.Any help would be more than I have now. Thank you.

All court actions relating to mental competency set very high standards for proof. Usually lengthy, expensive and unsuccessful. An action of last resort, in my opinion.

You state that your mother's excessive drinking had an onset about 2 months ago following the death of your father.

While I'm sure this is disturbing, given her age and your description of events her behavior doesn't strike me as symptomatic of a mental disorder. More than likely a transitory maladaptation.

Unless she has a prior history of alcohol abuse her excessive drinking is an unpleasant but temporary reaction. An unfortunate choice, inappropriate, ineffective but not pathologic. People do not suddenly lapse into alcoholism late in life. But, on the other hand, we all respond unpredictably and seemingly uncharacteristically to grief, loss and fear. This is particularly true for those in later life.

Brief interventions are usually very effective for one in your mother's circumstances. A family doctor, clergy, a close friend or relative can have a talk with her. An empathetic and non-blaming talk. That is usually all that is necessary to address the sudden-onset-reactive excessive drinking. Of course within 2 months of a traumatic loss she could use a little help dealing with those emotions as well.

If she goes without professional intervention she will probably work through it on her own. That's how these issues generally resolve. Of course in the median there is always the acute danger of intoxication, falling, injury, etc. So you should remain vigilant.

If I misunderstood your description or you left out some issues please let me know.

In my own experiences as an alcoholic, and drug addict in recovery. And a child brought up by alcoholics, my advice to you may or may not help. Alcoholism is a very selfish disease. It inhibits people from mentally and emotionally processing information, and reacting to reality as a normal, functioning human being. Though I am not a Dr. I feel the only thing you can do is tell your mother how important she is to you. Give her the information of the closest detox facility, and pray. Some who cannot, or do not want to help themselves, will not. For how much and how long she has been drinking, and her age... It is probably not a good idea for her to quit without being at a facility that is equipped for dealing with alcohol detox. Which can be fatal. I know it hurts, but you and your kids have to come first. And I don't know, but if it is like my situation... you can not enable her (buy alcohol, console her when she is drinking) I did that for years, and finally listened to others who were in recovery. If she will. Go to AA meetings in your area. You do not have to be sober, just have to want to be. Also for you, there is Alanon meetings. You can find both on the internet, and find some close to you. God bless and I hope I helped some. Good luck.