Confused_22
Oct 6, 2011, 09:01 PM
So I already posted some detailed background on this story in a different section, but to sum up...
I work with a guy for about 2.5 months. I liked him for a long time and got the feeling that he liked me, but he is so reserved that I was going insane trying to to figure him out. Just when I decided to give up he invited me to his and his roommate's house party, we get drunk, he kisses me in the kitchen but in the midst of super hot kissing he warns me doesn't want a girlfriend ( now this guy is here on an internship for 6 more months and then goes back to his country)anyways, I tell him I don't want a boyfriend and boom we end up sleeping together... from then on we have an awkward elephant in the room at work but we smile and stay friend, act like nothing happened for about a week. Then we go out again with our regular group, drink... I get brave and decide to ask him what's up. He tells me although he doesn't regret that night, he doesn't want a girlfriend and also doesn't believe in friends with benefits because he believes that if we try that in the end I'll just hate him. I argue telling him that I also don't want a full on boyfriend but think we can find middle ground. We argue for about this for sometime... during which time he keeps taking a step towards me and then back repeating "no no this is such a bad idea, this will not turn out well!". When I ask if he sees me as a platonic friend he says of course not and that he is very attracted to me and sits in the office wanting to kiss me. BUT repeats that friends with benefits does not work and someone will end up hurt (I guess meaning me)he also mentioned that he had a girlfriend right before he left for this internship and that it was a bad experience. Anyway, I say fine lets be friends, we shake hands, I pull his hand down and plant a kiss between his cheek and lips. Next thing you know we are making out in the middle of the street. We go to his apartment and...
Now to backtrack, earlier that week I went out with his friend for a drink and we got super drunk, he kissed me and I kissed him back. We both realized how stupidly horrible the whole thing was since his friend if engaged and I like the other guy, but the dude told the guy I like about it anyway... so going back to us arguing on the street at one point he asked me " can I ask you something?" I say "sure" and he asks me "did you kiss my friend?" I automatically lie and deny it. Then when we are at his place I feel bad about lying and tell him that I did lie, at this point he looks at me and says "please don't lie to me again I'd rather know the ugly truth"...
Anyway after we slept together the second time again... we pretend nothing happened... he asks me to go to a concert with him, but just as friends ( aka I buy my own ticket) we only hang out in groups and I don't know if I should bother anymore. I feel like I keep going after this guy, and being a modern woman I have no problem making the first( or second or third) move, but I have a limit and I don't want to seem desperate. I really like this person, but I am getting really mixed signals here and don't know what to do... Now it seems I'm over complicating this and the simple answer is he doesn't want a relationship so move on. But my question isn't about what he thinks is the right thing to do in this situation, that he stated clearly, my question is, does he like me and is really afraid of what will happened if we have continue developing this... whatever it is, or is he simply attracted to my body but has no interest in me? Sorry for the super long post! Please help!
I work with a guy for about 2.5 months. I liked him for a long time and got the feeling that he liked me, but he is so reserved that I was going insane trying to to figure him out. Just when I decided to give up he invited me to his and his roommate's house party, we get drunk, he kisses me in the kitchen but in the midst of super hot kissing he warns me doesn't want a girlfriend ( now this guy is here on an internship for 6 more months and then goes back to his country)anyways, I tell him I don't want a boyfriend and boom we end up sleeping together... from then on we have an awkward elephant in the room at work but we smile and stay friend, act like nothing happened for about a week. Then we go out again with our regular group, drink... I get brave and decide to ask him what's up. He tells me although he doesn't regret that night, he doesn't want a girlfriend and also doesn't believe in friends with benefits because he believes that if we try that in the end I'll just hate him. I argue telling him that I also don't want a full on boyfriend but think we can find middle ground. We argue for about this for sometime... during which time he keeps taking a step towards me and then back repeating "no no this is such a bad idea, this will not turn out well!". When I ask if he sees me as a platonic friend he says of course not and that he is very attracted to me and sits in the office wanting to kiss me. BUT repeats that friends with benefits does not work and someone will end up hurt (I guess meaning me)he also mentioned that he had a girlfriend right before he left for this internship and that it was a bad experience. Anyway, I say fine lets be friends, we shake hands, I pull his hand down and plant a kiss between his cheek and lips. Next thing you know we are making out in the middle of the street. We go to his apartment and...
Now to backtrack, earlier that week I went out with his friend for a drink and we got super drunk, he kissed me and I kissed him back. We both realized how stupidly horrible the whole thing was since his friend if engaged and I like the other guy, but the dude told the guy I like about it anyway... so going back to us arguing on the street at one point he asked me " can I ask you something?" I say "sure" and he asks me "did you kiss my friend?" I automatically lie and deny it. Then when we are at his place I feel bad about lying and tell him that I did lie, at this point he looks at me and says "please don't lie to me again I'd rather know the ugly truth"...
Anyway after we slept together the second time again... we pretend nothing happened... he asks me to go to a concert with him, but just as friends ( aka I buy my own ticket) we only hang out in groups and I don't know if I should bother anymore. I feel like I keep going after this guy, and being a modern woman I have no problem making the first( or second or third) move, but I have a limit and I don't want to seem desperate. I really like this person, but I am getting really mixed signals here and don't know what to do... Now it seems I'm over complicating this and the simple answer is he doesn't want a relationship so move on. But my question isn't about what he thinks is the right thing to do in this situation, that he stated clearly, my question is, does he like me and is really afraid of what will happened if we have continue developing this... whatever it is, or is he simply attracted to my body but has no interest in me? Sorry for the super long post! Please help!