Once someone is cheating is easy for them to stop the affair when it's over a year. I divorced my hubby and someone said I shoudn't of divorce so quick. The reason I filed so quick is because he cheated but with the same person for over a year. Now I call myself before I filed I had to get my head straight and think things through.

He's been sleeping with the same person for a year. Do you think he could have stopped or did I throw my marriage away or what? How serious do you think this could have been. I was always bringing this woman up and he swore nothing was going on. Could it have been easy for him to give this woman up and if so at what point in their relationship.

I'm asking because some people said I jumped the gun too quick. They were getting it on like twice a month then it became more and more. He said that he could leave her alone but he always keep communication with her.

Did I jump the gun, do you think it would have been possible for him to have let this go?

He cheated on you... what's the difference if he could let it go or not? He cheated. Should you have stayed with him because he might have been able to let it go? No way. You did the right thing.

You have many questions and its obvious you are hurt and confused. You did the right thing for yourself, and now must stay out of relationships until you heal.

That does mean sexual ones too. Look he lied, and cheated and threw this marriage away, but you are the one hurting. So you must give yourself some healing time and be good to yourself until you are stronger, and feel much, much, better.

Would you like your other posts merged with this one, so others understand the extent of your pain??

I look at my previous answer and, after reading it, I find that it comes across as callous. I did not mean it that way at all.

You did the right thing and didn't deserve what you were getting. It happened to me... my first wife cheated and it was terrible. I understand what you're going through and it's obvious that the person that told you that you jumped the gun is clueless. Good luck to you.

"They were getting it on like 2wice a month"
"The reason I filed so quick is because he cheated but with the same person for over a yr"

You did the right thing. By filing. Now follow through.

Take some time to sort things out w/yourself.
Remind yourself why. And how this isn't & wasn't right.

I would give yourself a break, too. Don't put it back on yourself. Not matter what runs through your head.

Look at who's doing what.

You didn't throw your marriage away. Just know that he isn't husband material.

Be glad you know.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to vanheart again.

Oh you guys are all awesome thanks!!

It would have not been possible for you to trust. Each time he was not accountable for, you'd think he was with her. Preoccupied by doubt, the issue would cause major problems. You have made him accountable for his actions. You are moving on with yours. Something was missing and he was not asking you for it. Find out what that something is so you won't lose another.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-long-can-affairs-kept-dark-646077.html

Seeing as this thread was started less than 6 months ago, and you claimed that your husband started cheating on you a year ago, well, what comes around goes around.

You've been cheating for over 2 years according to the above post, and with a married man.

It's hard to feel bad for you when you're doing to another woman the very thing you claim was done to you. And it's also pretty evident that you started your affair before your husband cheated on you. Even if he didn't, you're still a home wrecker.