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View Full Version : Relationship problems and nausea?


lauren90
Oct 3, 2011, 11:47 PM
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Me and my boyfriend are not doing well, he's been taking back his promises and tearing me up inside. We are still together, but I feel him slipping away. He says he loves me the same, but he definitely doesn't show it anymore. He leaves me waiting for long periods every night while he's with his friends. He always put me first, but not so much anymore. We've been dating almost 7 months, is this just the ending of that honeymoon stage? I have just been feeling nauseous all the time and I feel like there is a huge hole or a knot in my chest. I can't eat, everything feels like its coming up.

kinshu123
Oct 4, 2011, 02:38 AM
Herein I would like to say two things... 1.I have often seen,from personal experience too that reduced emotional contact often causes such a state of mind... have you guys been doing more and communicating less?? or have you'll been talking mostly mush and nothing else?? am sure you love each other but that doesn't mean your relationship consists only of that romantic element.. trust me,it just gets stifling after a point of time.. talk to him,just simple everyday talks,go out and try new places ,show him what a good FRIEND you can be!. you don't have to tell him you love or miss him everyday,indeed I think he would like it better if you only say it when its coming from your heart... what I mean is there has to be a balance between friendship and romance... a great relationship can only be founded with a great friend :)... also try and be a little more understanding,a little less fighty-fighty and just welcome him home with a smile and see the change.. hope this advice helps you out :)

Chellou06
Oct 4, 2011, 08:41 AM
I've gone through something similar. It sounds like he is "too comfortable". Communication is the key to any relationship. Do you live with him? If so maybe he's feeling smothered. Don't get too upset just yet. Don't suspect the worst and just set him down and let him know how you feel. If he doesn't understand and nothing changes then you need to do what makes you happy.

Wondergirl
Oct 4, 2011, 09:10 AM
As much as you want to, don't make him the center of your life. Get your own groove going with friends and activities with them. Join a library book discussion group or writing group, read the new bestsellers, take a cooking class, learn how to knit or crochet, join a gym or a local women's sports team (volleyball, soccer, softball), try out for a local group that puts on play or musicals. In other words, get a life going apart from him, so that, when you are with him, you have interesting things to talk about. It will be good for him too because then he won't feel smothered; he will want to be with you instead of having to think of ways to get away from you, if you are too clingy.

mmresd
Oct 4, 2011, 10:55 AM
Definitely been here before, it can be one of two things, either he is wanting something else, or he is comfortable where he is at. The only way to know is to ask him, and when he answers the only thing you can do is choose to trust him, you will get used to it as well, love can be shown in many several forms, and the form a person chooses to show their love through, might be different than yours and might change often.

talaniman
Oct 4, 2011, 12:20 PM
Honeymoon is over, the honest communications starts. That's how you resolve issues between you for the benefit of you both.

lauren90
Oct 5, 2011, 01:11 AM
Thank you thank you! This advice helped a lot. We are having better communication, so I will get to the bottom of it! I am moving 4 hours away for school, in about 3 weeks and I just finally decided on this, so this could be effecting him also? Whatever happens we will always be very close friends

lauren90
Oct 5, 2011, 11:35 AM
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I am moving away from my boyfriend and he has been ignoring me so much lately. He says he's always too busy. What is exactly going on in his head? I try to talk to him about it but he just says he loves me and nothing is wrong, something is definitely very wrong. He's not talking about it. I am taking the whole thing very hard. Is there anyway I can get by the beginning of a bad breakup before it gets ugly?

talaniman
Oct 5, 2011, 05:48 PM
You made no mention of moving away, but maybe the distance is something you both can adjust to or work through. What makes you think it's a break up? That's not what he indicates.

lauren90
Oct 6, 2011, 02:31 PM
All threads have been merged together.



I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months and we had sex for the first time almost 2 months ago. I'm 17. I told him I am moving about 4 hours away 2 months ago and he said that didn't matter to him, he'd still stay with me and visit on weekends. But the past month after we had sex he's been treating me really bad, acting like I'm more of a friend. He started a new job and is going to be going to college in December. He hangs out with his friends all the time and He ignores me, is rude, and mean. He's never been this way before the past month or so. This is my first love and I feel used. I don't understand why this happened, or why he is treating me this way. I used to be an extremely happy girl! All the time! But now I just feel drained and upset all the time. I cry all the time. I feel like I gave so much and he never did anything. He says he's not that upset about losing me and he needs to focus on his life. He also says he wants to be friends and talk to me everyday still. Is this his way of coping with me leaving? Or was he just using me?

sunbeamrunner
Oct 7, 2011, 06:06 PM
The person who can answer these questions is your boyfriend. You have to decide if you really want him to give you an honest answer about why his behaviour has changed towards you. Be warned if you ask him to be honest with you, you must be prepared to hear something that you may not like.

Perhaps asking him will help give you some closure. Breaking up with someone you care so much about is hard and it will hurt. But what you can not see at the moment is that things will get better in time. The pain will fade eventually.

He has seems to have moved on and it is important that you tru to as well. Holding on to this is not going to be helpful. It is cruel what he has done to you, and a very cowardly way of ending a relationship. Perhaps he was not the person you thought he was, and maybe it is better that this happened now rather than a few more months down the line after you had moved.

If you decide that you want him in your life as a friend - make sure that's really what you want... him as a friend. If you accept that because you feel it is someway of holding on to the relationship you once had, then I fear that will only make things harder for you to move on.

You are still so young and you are going to meet other men, fall in love with them and maybe get your heart broken a few more times. It's the risk we have to take, but you will pick yourself up eventually. You will feel better and you will find someone new. It may not seem like it at the moment but it will happen.

Honestly I think that if this boy could treat you the way he has done... is he really someone you would want in your life? Try to think how you would advise your friend if she was in your situation... would you be telling her that he was worth it after treating her so badly?

lauren90
Oct 9, 2011, 07:31 PM
All threads have been merged together.


My boyfriend are heading down that breakup path, I have my last homecoming next weekend and we have been dying to go together all year. We are best friends, but I am moving 4 hours away in a week and we've been together about 8 months. He's been promising for months that he would do whatever it takes to stay with me.

He's completely changed now, flirting with other girls and treating me like I'm just a friend. He gets an attitude extremely fast, and I can never bring up anything serious without him getting mad, never like he used too. (I'll add his father is in the military and his parents are divorced, he rarely sees his dad.) He won't tell me his true feelings, so he is pretty much dragging me along. Which is making the situation much worse.

I really love him and want to share next weekend with him before I leave, but he's been breaking my heart, I've deleted my Facebook to prevent anymore drama but I am just so heartbroken and I feel stuck in this unhealthy pattern. I know he loves me but he is just defending himself. Are there any tips to make this week a little stress free?

We've already distanced ourselves a lot, but he still texts me and says that he loves me more than anything and that he'll never love anyone as much as he loves me. Mixed signals? He also says he wants to be friends when I move and visit me all the time. I don't think I can do that though.

Do men always go from relationship to friendship without any problems? I know I definitely can't do that, I need time to heal. He is so confusing I can't keep up. I feel depressed and down all the time, and I spend so much time trying to figure out what is going on in his head! This is so unhealthy for me but I really want to tough it out another week, just so we end on good terms. Is there any advice?

I'm at my breaking point. I feel like its me that is the problem, but he could have some buried emotional issues that could cause this strange behavior? Is there any way I could help him? Even though I'm the upset and depressed one, I always think of him first.

Wondergirl
Oct 9, 2011, 07:44 PM
Did he start changing two months ago?

talaniman
Oct 9, 2011, 07:46 PM
He sees what's going on, and is protecting and distracting himself, Why don't you just come out and tell him you want this to be a happy farewell, instead of trying to get in his head and distress yourself?

No sex, just good byes. Emotional aren't you?

Homegirl 50
Oct 9, 2011, 09:23 PM
Sounds to me like he is not as much in to you as he was before having sex.
He says he loves you but treats you with such disrespect, why do you want to hang on to this boy?
Of course he wants to keep in touch, you can be his toy.
Leave him alone. He does not sound like he is worth it to me. There will be other boys. Let this one walk.