Sorry for the long post... But I really don't know what to do so telling the situation n detail..
My girlfriend and me have been having crazy fights over the past few months. So in anger we both said we were breaking up Around a Month back. But next day onwards we still continued talking and chatting and weeks later we also confessed we still love each other a lot.. And are not going to move on..
We have had a few breakups in the past when angry and fighting and usually get back within few days.the longest being last time which was 3-4weeks.. during which we wold still talk and chat but just not officially together.

Recently she came for her best friends birthday party. (in my city.. She stays in another city 3 hours away).. And at this party was a very close friend of that best friend... who happens to be a guy who had a huge crush on my girl for many years and was a good friend of hers at that time.. My girl had kissed him once 4 years ago to spite her then boyfriend.. But told me she felt repulsed and guilty so never went ahead.. Though she did go on a few dates with him around 2 years back.. (just 2-3 months before I met her).. So well this guy.. I guess can be called her ex as they went on few dates and have kissed and been close.. She cut off contact with him because when they were dating he apparently told all his friend she is his girlfriend.. And she didn't like that so they fought.
They had met some months back at this same best friend place and they spoke it out and the fight got over and they got back to being cordial and friendly again.
Now.. This best friend knows I hate that guy not because I am insecure about him (though that's what she thinks) but because he is always around my girl when she goes to meet that best friend and sticks like a leech to them (he has always been like a leech with my girl).

Anyway,My girl is epileptic and she got an attack when she was there at this friends place doing up the arrangements for the party at night and this guy was there too helping and since they were apparently alone , when she got her attacks, he handled her and held her. She called me up later ad told me about this and I kind of got pissed that how come he was the only one there.. How come you two were alone and all that crap. (btw, my girl knew that I always hated her being around that guy, and that's why would never mingle with him and just keep distance and not keep much contact with him ,though she'd get pissed about it as she claimed that they were always very close friends and he was there for her whenever she needed a friend in the past and now even that misunderstanding over which they didn't talk much was cleared out).

So well, he held her and hugged her during her attacks and all that stuff and all this made me get damn irritated so I told her, that she should be there with him and he is there to handle her and hug her and not call me and this worsened her condition a bit. But what was in my mind was.. Even though she knew I hate that guy around her.. She was there all Alone with him and he handled her.
She got pissed as well ( pretty normal I guess because I acted like a jerk.. I thought over it after I calmed down and realised it was a medical condition and anyone helping at that point is good , it was just unfortunate for me that it was this guy, but he did help her and I should have been glad . But it had just got me disgusted to know that he was there alone with her and it made me jealous at that point so I lashed) and she also got pissed because she felt I was suspecting( we had broken up this time because I said some remark about them and she felt I was suspecting so we had fought) . So I called her up next evening and just asked her how she was and then we hung up.

Then I logged onto Facebook and see.. The best friend, whose birthday it was.. Posted a picture of My girl and that guy.. Very close.. Like.. Her back facing him and touching his left shoulder and he is holding her with his left hand around her neck... And labelled the pic as 'awwwwww'..
This really hurt me.. She always knew I hated that she be close to that guy . She knew I got pissed that he handled and hugged her during her attacks and still yet later.. During the party She is so close to him and he is holding her so close..
That best friend just uploaded this One photo from the party which kind of feels like it was just to piss me off and hurt me intentionally(but then the world doesn't revolve around me, So I dunno)...
And the comments on it hurt like crazy.. More than 10people liking the photo.. And over 40comments.. Like people saying.. You two give the most perfect picture.. You two look perfect together... And one guy wrote.. The girls smile is so happy but the guys smile is so crooked.. And this best friend replies.. The crooked smile is because they are having a secret affair.. And poss another comment.. This is what some people claim.. (hinting at me) and my girl and that guy like this comment.. And then another person writes.. No wonder the girl looks so happy and then there's like shhh.. its just for us to know.. And stuff like this.. It really hurts to read all this and see my girl being held so close by a guy I really despise.

I wrote her.. Nice pic.. Guess I should leave your life now.. And cut off all contact from her.. But the problem is.. I used to text her everyday at 7pm to have her epilepsy medicine and I even stopped that as I cut off.. But she still continues to message me at 7pm daily, that she has taken her medicine. This is going on for the past 5 days..

I really don't know what to do. I know she loves me but that photograph and her closeness to that guy really make me feel like throwing up and I kind of hate her for that closeness as she always knew I hated that guy like hell.. I don't want to be with her anymore because of all this and I am trying to move on but she is still messaging me daily and trying to stay in touch by trying to have conversation online.
Please help me.. What do I do? I really don't know what to do.. I hate the fact that she has this pic with this guy and people love them together and all.. And she is close to him too but it also makes me wonder at times ,why she is still holding on even after she knows she has hurt me like hell... And if it is really reason enough to finish this relationship and connection forever..
Please help me..

Harshness warning.

She is lucky to get dumped by you and now has a chance to get a more mature secure guy to have fun with.

You making a big deal over a stupid party, and Facebook picture, and have no self control. At least you set her free from your impulsive insecure, immature behavior.

That's the only thing about your post that you have done right.

@talaniman.. I ever liked that guy and she knew it. Couldn't she respect that bit? So obviously seeing them holding each other in a photo would be disgusting for me?

And Come on, The comments were any pleasing either. That they both look great as a pair and stuff like that.

Which guy wold like that his girlfriend has a close hugging pic with some other guy and people like that photo and love them as a couple and that they look perfect for each other?

The reason for the break-up was an over-reaction on your part. Of course she needed someone to help her if she was ill. You did realise that albeit too late. If you base your life on what people post on Facebook you are going to make some really awful decisions. People play all sorts of silly games on facebook; don't get pulled into that.

Having said that I think you two need to be apart. The fighting and jealousy don't indicate a healthy relationship. Yes I think it is time to lose all connection. Give you both time to work on yourselves before you consider another relationship. You need to work on what is making you feel insecure and what is triggering your anger. What she needs to work on isn't for you to worry about now. Move on, heal, and learn better for next time.

QUOTE by Pboy87;
@talaniman.. I never liked that guy and she knew it. Couldn't she respect that bit? So obviously seeing them holding each other in a photo would be disgusting for me?
One party picture and you go nuts and blame her through you anger?? Okay you didn't like it or the comments, but you have to recognize she didn't take the picture, nor made the comments so should she be blamed? You cannot control others, but should ALWAYS maintain control over yourself. Believe in her, trust her, NOT some pictures or comment on a social network site.


And Come on, The comments were any pleasing either. That they both look great as a pair and stuff like that.
She can't control the actions of others, neither can you. You indeed over reacted.


Which guy wold like that his girlfriend has a close hugging pic with some other guy and people like that photo and love them as a couple and that they look perfect for each other?
This is beneath my radar, and I would be much more concerned about her seizure at a party, than some dude I didn't like at the same party. Nor would I care about what someone posted on their Internet page, or the comments someone else posted on that page.

Its to easy to stir crap on the Internet, and if that was their goal, IT WORKED like a charm, didn't it?

Bottom line, you dumped your girl for the actions of others, and made this her fault. Now what do you think she feels about that, and your continuing to not talk to her about it? Maybe she loves a jealous, insecure, unfair guy, but I don't think so.

Obsessive, and you have lots of trust issues.

Whatever this is, is not working. Leave it alone. Let it go. Move on. Maybe they do make a perfect couple. Maybe she is better off with her ex. Probably a lot more understanding of her condition as well.

I agree its not her fault that the picture was Up.. The seizure was HOURS before the party.. when she and that guy were helping the host with the arrangements for the party and they were alone so he helped her.
She knows I get pissed at that guy being around her and when she told me later( before the party and just minutes after the attack) I asked her who handled her and she told me that he was the only one there and he handled her. And I told her, "ok maybe i really didnt need to know that it was him." and she said, So I guess You want to hang up now ad not talk and I said yes.. So its pretty evident that she knew I hate that guy and still yet.. during the party she got that close to him and had that picture with him.. and it wasn't even a dance (she is a dancer) as the guy had his drink in his hand. So even after she knew I got pissed about him being alone with her(which is weird) and him handling her She still went ahead to get close to him in the party.. closer than what he would have been while handling her and This time intentionally and not because of a seizure.
This does irritate. Her attack isn't in her control but her hugging ad holding him in a party is.. right? So even when she knew I hate that she still did it..
Worse, She and that guy are also commenting on those photos and neither said that she has a boyfriend or that HE isn't her boyfriend or they aren't a pair. And been Liking other peoples comments when they write stuff like people think they have an affair going on.. and all such stuff..

Its not like she is completely innocent here.. She went close to him intentionally (which is in the pic) and she didn't even meet him much previously as she knew I don't like her meeting him and vice versa so whenever she met she wouldn't even have a handshake with him and be just cordial.
So why this closeness now AFTER I made it evident that I got pissed that he handled her by hugging and holding her during her attack. And then this uploading and comments on it as if they are a couple.

I Have cut off all contact with her since, but she still keeps trying to call or sends me crap messages like watch this movie, u'll love it and similar stuff..

Your just to anal and intense. Your lucky she is still willing to talk to you. No one is 100 percent innocent but your over reacting is obvious to everyone here. Stop getting so pissed. Maybe because you getting pissed and being so over obsessive your pushing her away into the arms of other people. Stop being such a ---- and maybe you will actually have a relationship without so much fighting. Next time your in a relationship please hold yourself back. Do not get so obsessive, actually try to learn how to trust your partner, and go to anger management classes.

@JoeCananda76.. Well I Know I got angry at the time when it was unnecessary about her getting an attack and him helping her.. but then it also makes you wonder that how and why they hell were they both alone in the first lace.. where was the host or the maid or the hosts mom ( I know all these 3 were in the house then too). And its not like it's a palace. A normal 2 bedroom apartment. 5 people(minimum) in the house and helping and these 2 are alone in some room and she gets the attack when he is there and no one else even knows about it. Also... counting 5.. She is there as she came with the hosts mum from another city, why was the guy even there and she alone with him ( when she knows I don't even like her talking to him is weird).

Anyway, Its just irritating to know that even after she knew I was pissed and I was pretty vocal about it, Not passive.. she still went so close to him in the party.. Even after knowing I got pissed that they were alone and that he held her and touched her during the attack.
Its like as if she deliberately got that close to him as I yelled at her and fought.
And then the pic and the comments about them looking awesome together and them agreeing and flirting openly without either of them saying that they are NOT a couple.

It hurts more as it does feel it was done just to piss me off.. intentionally...

You know what no matter what anybody says here your still going to act like a crazy man. Does not matter what we say or do.

It seems like she was in a lose, lose situation with you anyway. She should cut her losses. You should too. Stop being so angry.

She needs somebody with that tender touch, that person that will understand her and that person that will be there for her at all times.

Getting pissed and angry with her just shows that you do not have that tender touch. You do not have the understanding and obviously you do not understand her condition either.

Stress from other people like you can bring on more seizures. So Stress in an epileptic life is toxic and people can become toxic and your part of the problem.

At the same time maybe your looking for excuses to leave her because her epilepsy scares you? Who knows? I think you should end it for good. Hopefully she will find somebody that will be her everything. Without putting too much stress on her in her life.

You obviously do not understand epilepsy that much and what an impact that has on a persons life. I do.

@JoeCanada76.. Her epilepsy has never scared me and never will.. I have been with her for over a year and seen many of her attacks and handled most of them. Ans she really felt secure with me during those seizures ( even more secure than she felt with her mother).

Its NOT about the seizures here.. She was absolutely Fine after the seizures. And I Know she was as she had a nap after it and she s usually fine after an hours rest.
Its about her closeness to the Guy in the party Voluntarily.
In the attacks it was a medical condition and anyone being there ad holding her is a good thing as she needed help. She had no control over who would help her. Or who she would prefer to help her.. Hell she doesn't have control over herself then for those 5-8 seconds..

But during the party ( hours later) she dd have control over who she wet close to.. Hugged.. held.. right?
She knew even during the attack that I hated that guy being around her that's why she wasn't telling me who handled it till I asked her as she knew I'd get upset. So knowing ALL this.. Hours and Hours later in the party, she still went that close to him and held him and he held her..

And if that wasn't enough, their comments on the photo also seem like they are a couple.


I Don't Know why you guys are holding not the fact of the attack,when I completely understand that bit.. Im hurt at what happened many hours AFTER the seizure.. during the party. There were more than 30 people present at the party and this is the only one she had to hold and hug and then till like 4 days later comment on the photos and like comments like they are a couple?

Bro, calm down. Go and shoot these questions to her, calm and firm. What's the story behind the pic, what's the story behind the comments? Everything, give her a chance to explain before you can jump to conclusions. And do not get angry, frustrated if in case you decide to ask her and when she agrees to explain.
Don't you think that you are thinking all the wrong possibilities? Like - why didn't she comment like this in fb, why didn't she do like that etc etc. well, what if, that guy just pulled and reeled her to him to have that snap taken? What if your girlfriend had nothing wrong in her mind, but you just got angry so that she never wanted to defend herself?
If I were you, I would ask her time, talk to her, hear what she has to say.
And when she agrees that she cheated on you or something like that, that is when you should get frustrated or angry, or my flavor - dump.

@BK201.. thnks fr the reply.. I am completely sure she has not cheated on me.. And am completely sure that she never would or never has.. Its not about cheating here.. Its just about me not liking her being close to that guy physically and still yet she goes and holds him..
Its about the inconsiderate behaviour of hers.. She knew I always hated that guy.. for months now she knows that. Still yet she would meet him and was alone with him when she got her attacks . And then got close to her during the party and hugged and all and then the pic and the comments.
And anywy there has to be a bloody damn good explanation as to why she didn't explain on the pic that he isn't her boyfriend and why they were flirting to openly on the pic and liking comments together like a couple.