So, I met this girl 2 months ago through this college cheer program I am a part of. We were assigned to each other as stunt partners on our cheer team, and started hanging out a lot at practice and outside of practice with a group setting. Then after we started hanging out a lot, I started to develop feelings for her, and I found it she did too. It was the summer time when it happened, which is partly to blame, but she is an incoming freshman, and me a 4th-year-senior. We began spending a lot of one on one time together, and I literally slept over like 6 times. Cuddled a lot, played footsie, talked about deep stuff, laughed, but I never kissed her. Something told me not to. Not sure if it is because I knew in the back of my mind that things would change or what, but things did change.

I took her out for her birthday right before school started last week, took her out to a really nice dinner, dessert, came back and watched a movie at my place and cuddled, but I could tell something was on her mind. A few days later, she come to me asking if we could talk because we weren't hitting stuff in practice. In all honesty, I didn't think we were hitting stuff because she had stuff on her mind and I was doing perfectly fine. What she told me is that she didn't want to lead me on, and right now, she wants to enjoy being independent and single because she came her to be that, and that she is not the right girl for me right now.

I KNEW this talk was coming, but I got a little emotional, but what she told me is that I am her best friend here, and she doesn't want anything to change from what we have right now (including the cuddling! And one on one time). She just wants me to be her best friend right now. Honestly though, I need space from her because it pains me being around her outside of practice. She told her roommate who told me she wants to hook up with me too without the emotional attachment. Honestly, I feel like she doesn't have a clue of what she wants because not only do best friends not cuddle, they don't hook up either.

I deleted her number from my phone so I wouldn't be tempted to needlessly text or call her, and I Facebook messaged her saying that," Hey, last night all I wanted to say was that I respect your need for space right now. Take as much time as you need and go out and have fun. :)" She said thank you, but she also said if I really cared about her, I would be her best friend, not give her somewhat of an ultimatum. I can't be her best friend right now, I can be friendly with her since I have to be around her pretty much every day, but I can't be her best friend. I want to she if she contacts me down the road asking to talk or whatever after she's experienced a little more of college, and I am not sure exactly how I would respond to her.

I consider her one of my best friends also, but I don't want to be suckered into the trap of being her friend and there never being anything between us. So I will be her friend, but I'm not going to be her shoulder to lean on right now... I can't do it because it hurts me so bad to be around her knowing I want more than she does. She told me the timing is the biggest problem, and it didn't matter who wanted to be with her right now, it wouldn't happen, but she also told me that I am going to make someone so happy some day. I want that to be her, but it's going to be a slow process if it does.

My question is: Should I be her best friend right now and see if anything comes from that (although I strongly doubt it will and many of my friends do also) or should I stand my ground and continue to have no contact outside of cheer practice with her? Also, for her birthday, I got her 4 tins of different kinds of teas because she LOVES tea and a mug that said "happy birthday tay" on it. If those are still up in a month's time, what does that mean?

Sounds like she wants to get college out of her way & is thinking about her future & every thing that she wants to do in her life & knowes if she gets to attached it will be hard to let go at this point in her life but still wants to hold on to you some how because she likes you a lot .

I don't see why she is so worried about being attached. I think it scares her because she is supposedly "independent". I was talking to other girls in front of her last night, not to upset her, but because she said she was over me and wanted to be my best friend. But then she got mad when I did it. She doesn't know what she wants.

She knows what she wants, Friends With Benefits and no commitments. That's exactly why you leave her alone because you cannot enjoy this without the title, and commitment YOU want. You simply are to attached, A lot more than she is evidently, but that's what happens when you give all your attention to one person. Now she thinks she owns you.

Distance is what you need. Send her gifts for her birthday, but none of this best friend stuff. You can't handle it, and neither can she.