needshelp21
Sep 29, 2011, 01:02 PM
READ FIRST: this is very serious, please take it seriously, this will also be very very very long, I'm going to go as in depth as I possibly can, and will easily take up all 5000 characters + a few 5000 characters from being able to edit and add more. Also, Take note that I'm a 14 year old boy, and I'm focused on my needs, I will most likely use vulgar language, and probably offensive language as well, so please don't take it seriously, if I say things like gay or retarded.
With that said, let me start my story. I'm a 14 year old boy that lives in a small community and goes to a small school, community of 1000, school freshman class of 90. I'm school smart but not street smart, in anyway shape or form, in fact you could call me street retarded. Everybody in my family has something a little weird with them (not like disabled weird, but real small stuff, like a funny name, or they have a special saying that's gay, or stuff like that.) I'm a fairly rich person, not talking millions, but I do own an iPad, xbox, big basement that's all to myself (and my friends) and a TON of food. I have 3 brothers that all are a lot older than me and had a different dad. They are in their 20s and I'm 14 year old freshman. None of them had a ton of friends in high school so both of my parents are really nice to all of my friends, they let them be as loud and disruptful as they want to be, and always have enough food to feed them. Whenever I have a larger number of kids over, (which is pretty often) like around 8 kids, my parents offer to buy pizza for everyone, we end up getting like 3 large pizzas, 3 different types of pop, etc etc. Very very very generous and nice parents.
Now I'm going to tell you a little about all my friends, and give you the first letter or 2 of their names. H:"leader" of our group, 1 of my 2 best friends, really tall, really strong, cares about his reputation a TON. Puts down others to lift himself up and make himself popular. Knows I'm an easy target, but knows I get superpissed when he messes with me, so he usually messes with me when its me him and at least 3 others, other than that he is nice to me. After going at me making me so pissed I won't speak to him for about 4 hours of the school day he starts to let up and try to make me feel better. V: probably my best friend, but thinks very little of me, always tries to put me in situations where I make myself look like a retard, enjoys watching me **** up in things, likes to get me aggravated. E: probably next in line after me of getting made fun of the most, but is the only one that I'm questioning if he's making jokes at me or being serious, because he makes fun of me when its just me and him and nobody does that because it makes the situation awkward. Takes things too far when he makes fun of stuff about me. N: thinks he's a badass, makes fun of me to get me in a pissed off mood, huge ****, this will sound gay but I think he's like "out to get me" because I didn't play football this year and I normally do and he thinks football is life. M: used to use me but I don't think he does anymore (heard him saying he only hangs out with me for my food) usually never makes fun of me, sometimes backs me up but usually laughs when others make fun of me. This is a huge step up from most everyone else.
Now lets talk about why they make fun of me. Okay lets start with the people in my family. My dads name is marcel, which is an uncommon name, and he is a bit weird, like his expressions and stuff, one example right of the top of my head is he says " how you?" instead of "how are you?". He does a lot of other embarrassing stuff that I'm not going to get in depth on.
My mom is a perfectly normal person, her name is chris, she is really nice, my friends came up with the nickname BMC, big momma chris, and that's what they call her, even when she's around because she doesn't know what BMC stands for, so they will bring that up when she's like bringing us food or something like that.
My brothers name is marc, and he suffers extreme depression issues and social anxiety, dropped out of college and came to live with us. I had friends over everyday, so he slowly started to try to hang out with us, because he can't hang out with anyone even remotely his age. This was back when we were in 7th grade. He did a ton of drugs and he always told us about them and now that we know about them (and some of us do them) everyone now calls him a want to be hard *** pretty much, they give him this raspy voice and say things like (yeah I'm marc, I like to smoke some doobies on occasion you know nothing much) which by the way he never said. My sister isn't very sister-like, she's closer to being a mother, she does a lot of motherly like things. So my friends now overexxagerate that to the point where if we watch a pg 13 show and she's over they will always bug me about turning off the TV because it might say "***" in the show. Or if I get a grade slightly lower than one of them they will say "oh **** rob, Mommy (thats their nickname for her) is going to be mad, she might even slap you" or other things ike that. She also married a frenchman, who's name is matthew, but with the french accent it turns into Matt-Chew, like a sneeze sound. They always make fun of him.
They also make fun of me, the most notable reasons are that I don't talk to girls very much because I have a low confidence (hard to have a high amt. Of confidence with how much they make fun of me, and other reasons I will get into) and also because I sit in my room and play xbox too much, this is completely true and I won't deny it, but what I will say is that its I find life to be way way way more fun doing that then being with my "friends" because when I'm with my friends all they do is make fun of me.
Now I will put these people together with what they make fun of me for. Lets start with marcel: E always talks about how he's gay and fingers his ******* at night and how he doesn't have a ball sack and how he rapes me and how he takes pictures of my **** when I'm asleep and ***'s on my face, a bunch of stuff like that. H always brings him up in class, to the class, usually upper classmen. Example: he has to give a presentation, he's trying to be funny and get popular, so his first sentence of his presentation is well, "to tell you the truth marcel helped me on this project a ton." a bunch of stuff like that. V always tries to tell me that I have a terrible relationship with my dad (which isn't true at all) and tries to tempt me to do completely unreasonable things, like this example "rob, to get some bonding time in with your dad, you should ask him to suck your ****" N always talks about how BMC and marcel are "gettin' it iiiiinnnn" and stuff like that.
N recently made a discovery through one of his older brothers friends, that my brother marc went through a gay stage, so now everyone, especially H makes fun of him for being possibly legitimately gay, as well as being a "hardass", one "famous" example of this by H is "marc smokes trees and sucks Ds, rob does he suck your D?".
We always eat lunch at my house because we have free lunch, and my family has tons of food they can get for free. Well my sister is always home, because she just moved back from france and she's trying to get a job, and I guess that she is so bad that all my friends hate her (she's hardly ever even said a word to any of them, but I guess she ruins everything) every time we get to me house H asks if "mommy" is home, and if she is he says something a long the lines of "i swear you need to kill that ugly *****, I mean I would **** her, she's got a nice ***, but she has bushy *** eyebrows and a ****in lemon shaped *** head, and she's ruining your life rob" he's making fun of her more and more at my house now too, today he yelled at the top of his lungs (almost guaranteeing she can hear) "Lauren! Or Mommy! Rob Wants to Jack off to you!" I can guarantee that she usually hears him, because my mom has been asking me lately if my friends are being too mean to me, or if they treat me right, stuff like that.
Okay now lets talk about why my friends make fun of ME, not my family but ME. As I said I'm pretty street retarded, or just really dumb in general other than like school questions, so H ALWAYS,ALWAYS asks me questions like would you rather, or would you do this, today it was would you let a 8 year old give you a hand job for 1million dollars, and this is always just a choice of, which will get me made fun of for less, so I figured maybe I should go with yes because it's a million dollars, I said yes, and the 8 people that ate lunch at my house today all said DUDE You're a ****ING CREEP, and as soon as we got back to school today hunter went to tell someone in our spanish class (first class after lunch that we both have together) what I did this time at lunch (its always a routine to tell him what I said at lunch) he walked in a little late we were both already in our seats and you could see the excitement in Hs eyes, no exaggeration he was SO EXCITED to tell this story. He tells the story and the person says, what's so bad about that, id do that for a million dollars. And Hs face dropped (it gave me so much satisfaction) H says "oh" and turns around.
Okay now lets talk about combination stories here. They always say things like "rob have you seen BMC give Marcel a bj?" or "rob, I know your gay, and I know Marc is gay, do you guys have buttsex? Or "rob, last night, while you were asleep, marcel recorded lauren and mattchu's sex and jacked off to it, then marc came in and sucked marcels ****. Do you wish you were there?"
Now for where this is brought up. In Class. Never when the teacher can hear, but H especially, ALWAYS tells as many people as he can in every class we have together about something In my family. Girls, Upper Classmen, anyone. And when he asks me those would you rather questions, if I answer "correctly" he will change his question and tell people that's my answer, example "rob, would you bang _____(hot girl)?" and if I say yes, then he turns to the person next to him and says " Dude! Rob just told me that he said he would have sex with ______(insert ugly and mentally challenged kid in our grade)! What a fag right!" and then if I say no I didn't he says "yaaaaaa yeah did" (idk how to explain it but its this voice that he does where he holds the yaaa, and then says the yeah did quick. )
Ive tallied up how many times I'm made fun of compared to others and got outragoues numbers like
Me:30 the entire rest of the class:3 (this is in 1 hour of time then I reset because I can't count my number that high). The point is I know they are joking, but its way way way too much, especially when they bring it up during class and in front of girls that I like, they wonder why I don't talk to them, its because I have no idea what they think of me, and how much of what H has told them they believe, etc. Etc.
I have every class of the day with H, and he won't let me go, if he ever senses I'm slipping from his grasp of friendship he always stops making fun of me, stays really nice to me, and makes me laugh a ton. But in art class, H and V team up and make fun of me. In addition to everything I've already listed, H comes up with something new everyday to pressure me about. Today it was the fact that I don't answer my phone when they call me on weekends. Last friday it was that I try to be like M too much (the only person that doesn't actually make fun of me) the day before that it was that I have an assignment to talk to at least 3 girls today for more than 5 minutes. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Everytime I'm around them (unless they are in the "renewal" stage) I want to kill myself, not in a exaggerational way either, I find myself thinking about suicide every night, going very in depth in my thought process, the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I don't think I could get myself to do it, and I don't want to be that selfish and take my life while ruining my families. In fact, part of me wants to commit suicide and write a note to H saying something powerful that will stay in his head for the rest of his life, like a simple sticky note saying his name and then "**** you *******" and sticky note it on my dead body. I know this is terrible but I can't help my self from thinking of that satisfaction. But on weekends (i usually literally don't leave my house once) I like my life again, this is because I'm not around 1 "friend" the entire time. Whenever they call me to hang out, either on my cell phone or on the home phone and I see caller id on my TV, I literally cringe with absolute nervousness that I'm going to have to talk to them and then potentially hang out with them, at that point in time I want to run and hide not be found for like 30 minutes.
I don't know what to do, I can't get away from them no matter what I do. I guess I could talk to my parents about moving because it's that bad, but I don't know. They'res almost always at least 1 of them in one of my classes, and they don't understand that I hate them, and their such HUGE douchebags that if I told them straight up I hate them and I don't want to talk to them ever again I'd never hear the end of it. If I stop hanging out with them completely then they will just make fun of me in class until I start hanging out with them. Another HUGE HUGE part of this is that they truly are my best friends. I mean apart from making fun of me, (I know that's a huge part of this) they really do fit me perfectly. Its hard for me to explain, but like everything that I think they think as well, we are like all perfectly the same, we like the same things, we think the same things, we do the same things, etc. Like for example, all of us play the same sports, nobody else does that at our school. No group of friends all play the same sports, (football, basketball, baseball). I can't explain it well, but if I could keep them from being ****s to me, they would be my best friends and I would not question them, ever.
I truly don't know if they are using me for my stuff, using me to make fun of, if they really do like me and don't realize how far they are going, or if they I'm just super paranoid and take this further than it is
Ive had other Yahoo answers questions that I've posted and I've gotten all of those responses. I really don't think I'm paranoid, maybe what I've told you doesn't seem very bad but you'd have to be there please don't say that option, I think its much worse than that.
Please help me, Your answers could be EXTREMELY appreciative, like even life saving appreciative. I don't know what to do, and my life is slowly getting worse, I'm thinking about just getting rid of the idea of having friends in my life, making in through high school literally never talking to anyone unless I am prompted to, living completely alone with a terrible life, until the end of college, then get a good job, and maybe live a good life from there. This would mean having a terrible life, but not committing suicide.
If you have any suggestions, or ideas, etc. That would be very helpful, should I talk to this with my parents? Should I ask to move, not tell them why but tell them living here is making me suicidal?
Thanks once again for your time and help, and if you need to your welcome to email this account at [email protected]
EDIT: (that was copied from a post on a different site before) I just discovered that my " the entire time. Whenever they call me to hang out, either on my cell phone or on the home phone and I see caller id on my TV, I literally cringe with absolute nervousness that I'm going to have to talk to them and then potentially hang out with them, at that point in time I want to run and hide not be found for like 30 minutes.
I don't know what to do, I can't get away from them no matter what I do. I guess I could talk to my parents about moving because its that bad, but I don't know. They'res almost always at least 1 of them in one of my classes, and they don't understand that I hate them, and their such HUGE douchebags that if I told them straight up I hate them and I don't want to talk to them ever again I'd never hear the end of it. If I stop hanging out with them completely then they will just make fun of me in class until I start hanging out with them. Another HUGE HUGE part of this is that they truly are my best friends. I mean apart from making fun of me, (i know that's a huge part of this) they really do fit me perfectly. Its hard for me to explain, but like everything that I think they think as well, we are like all perfectly the same, we like the same things, we think the same things, we do the same things, etc. Like for example, all of us play the same sports, nobody else does that at our school. No group of friends all play the exact same sports, (football, basketball, baseball). I can't explain it well, but if I could keep them from being ****s to me, they would be my best friends and I would not question them, ever.
I truly don't know if they are using me for my stuff, using me to make fun of, if they really do like me and don't realize how far they are going, or if they I'm just super paranoid and take this further than it is
Ive had other yahoo answers questions that I've posted and I've gotten all of those responses. I really don't think I'm paranoid, maybe what I've told you doesn't seem very bad but you'd have to be there please don't say that option, I think its much worse than that.
Please help me, Your answers could be EXTREMELY appreciative, like even life saving appreciative. I don't know what to do, and my life is slowly getting worse, I'm thinking about just getting rid of the idea of having friends in my life, making in through high school literally never talking to anyone unless I am prompted to, living completely alone with a terrible life, until the end of college, then get a good job, and maybe live a good life from there. This would mean having a terrible life, but not committing suicide.
If you have any suggestions, or ideas, etc. That would be very helpful, should I talk to this with my parents? Should I ask to move, not tell them why but tell them living here is making me suicidal?
Thanks once again for your time and help, and if you need to your welcome to email this account at [email protected]
EDIT: (that was copied from a post on a different site before) I just discovered that my " are not my friends whatsoever, and never have been for the past 7 years of my life. I didn't let them eat lunch at my house today, because my mom didn't want my sister to have to do their dishes everyday anymore. When I got back from lunch, the "poking fun at and joking" got a WHOOOLE lot worse. It turned from maybe their joking, to me KNOWING they have never liked me, and always used me for my stuff. They verbally bullied me so much, and once they realized that wasn't working, they took turns physically punching me in the face when the teacher wasn't looking (this teacher is old and never is very aware of what's going on). You will think less of me for this, but I didn't do anything. They punched me maybe 50 times in the class. I didn't say stop, because at first I figured it would only be once or twice, and once I realized they wouldn't stop, I was too close to crying (me already being emotional person, combined with the fact I just got punched in the face 20 times). So I didn't want to say anything because I would burst out in tears. I didn't want to tell the teacher because then I would just get beat up or verbally abused much worse. Finally I didn't try to fight them or stop them physically, because I am about 10 inches and 80 pounds smaller than all of them. There were 3 of them, AND I'm way weaker than them and wouldn't be able to do 2 ****s to them
With that said, let me start my story. I'm a 14 year old boy that lives in a small community and goes to a small school, community of 1000, school freshman class of 90. I'm school smart but not street smart, in anyway shape or form, in fact you could call me street retarded. Everybody in my family has something a little weird with them (not like disabled weird, but real small stuff, like a funny name, or they have a special saying that's gay, or stuff like that.) I'm a fairly rich person, not talking millions, but I do own an iPad, xbox, big basement that's all to myself (and my friends) and a TON of food. I have 3 brothers that all are a lot older than me and had a different dad. They are in their 20s and I'm 14 year old freshman. None of them had a ton of friends in high school so both of my parents are really nice to all of my friends, they let them be as loud and disruptful as they want to be, and always have enough food to feed them. Whenever I have a larger number of kids over, (which is pretty often) like around 8 kids, my parents offer to buy pizza for everyone, we end up getting like 3 large pizzas, 3 different types of pop, etc etc. Very very very generous and nice parents.
Now I'm going to tell you a little about all my friends, and give you the first letter or 2 of their names. H:"leader" of our group, 1 of my 2 best friends, really tall, really strong, cares about his reputation a TON. Puts down others to lift himself up and make himself popular. Knows I'm an easy target, but knows I get superpissed when he messes with me, so he usually messes with me when its me him and at least 3 others, other than that he is nice to me. After going at me making me so pissed I won't speak to him for about 4 hours of the school day he starts to let up and try to make me feel better. V: probably my best friend, but thinks very little of me, always tries to put me in situations where I make myself look like a retard, enjoys watching me **** up in things, likes to get me aggravated. E: probably next in line after me of getting made fun of the most, but is the only one that I'm questioning if he's making jokes at me or being serious, because he makes fun of me when its just me and him and nobody does that because it makes the situation awkward. Takes things too far when he makes fun of stuff about me. N: thinks he's a badass, makes fun of me to get me in a pissed off mood, huge ****, this will sound gay but I think he's like "out to get me" because I didn't play football this year and I normally do and he thinks football is life. M: used to use me but I don't think he does anymore (heard him saying he only hangs out with me for my food) usually never makes fun of me, sometimes backs me up but usually laughs when others make fun of me. This is a huge step up from most everyone else.
Now lets talk about why they make fun of me. Okay lets start with the people in my family. My dads name is marcel, which is an uncommon name, and he is a bit weird, like his expressions and stuff, one example right of the top of my head is he says " how you?" instead of "how are you?". He does a lot of other embarrassing stuff that I'm not going to get in depth on.
My mom is a perfectly normal person, her name is chris, she is really nice, my friends came up with the nickname BMC, big momma chris, and that's what they call her, even when she's around because she doesn't know what BMC stands for, so they will bring that up when she's like bringing us food or something like that.
My brothers name is marc, and he suffers extreme depression issues and social anxiety, dropped out of college and came to live with us. I had friends over everyday, so he slowly started to try to hang out with us, because he can't hang out with anyone even remotely his age. This was back when we were in 7th grade. He did a ton of drugs and he always told us about them and now that we know about them (and some of us do them) everyone now calls him a want to be hard *** pretty much, they give him this raspy voice and say things like (yeah I'm marc, I like to smoke some doobies on occasion you know nothing much) which by the way he never said. My sister isn't very sister-like, she's closer to being a mother, she does a lot of motherly like things. So my friends now overexxagerate that to the point where if we watch a pg 13 show and she's over they will always bug me about turning off the TV because it might say "***" in the show. Or if I get a grade slightly lower than one of them they will say "oh **** rob, Mommy (thats their nickname for her) is going to be mad, she might even slap you" or other things ike that. She also married a frenchman, who's name is matthew, but with the french accent it turns into Matt-Chew, like a sneeze sound. They always make fun of him.
They also make fun of me, the most notable reasons are that I don't talk to girls very much because I have a low confidence (hard to have a high amt. Of confidence with how much they make fun of me, and other reasons I will get into) and also because I sit in my room and play xbox too much, this is completely true and I won't deny it, but what I will say is that its I find life to be way way way more fun doing that then being with my "friends" because when I'm with my friends all they do is make fun of me.
Now I will put these people together with what they make fun of me for. Lets start with marcel: E always talks about how he's gay and fingers his ******* at night and how he doesn't have a ball sack and how he rapes me and how he takes pictures of my **** when I'm asleep and ***'s on my face, a bunch of stuff like that. H always brings him up in class, to the class, usually upper classmen. Example: he has to give a presentation, he's trying to be funny and get popular, so his first sentence of his presentation is well, "to tell you the truth marcel helped me on this project a ton." a bunch of stuff like that. V always tries to tell me that I have a terrible relationship with my dad (which isn't true at all) and tries to tempt me to do completely unreasonable things, like this example "rob, to get some bonding time in with your dad, you should ask him to suck your ****" N always talks about how BMC and marcel are "gettin' it iiiiinnnn" and stuff like that.
N recently made a discovery through one of his older brothers friends, that my brother marc went through a gay stage, so now everyone, especially H makes fun of him for being possibly legitimately gay, as well as being a "hardass", one "famous" example of this by H is "marc smokes trees and sucks Ds, rob does he suck your D?".
We always eat lunch at my house because we have free lunch, and my family has tons of food they can get for free. Well my sister is always home, because she just moved back from france and she's trying to get a job, and I guess that she is so bad that all my friends hate her (she's hardly ever even said a word to any of them, but I guess she ruins everything) every time we get to me house H asks if "mommy" is home, and if she is he says something a long the lines of "i swear you need to kill that ugly *****, I mean I would **** her, she's got a nice ***, but she has bushy *** eyebrows and a ****in lemon shaped *** head, and she's ruining your life rob" he's making fun of her more and more at my house now too, today he yelled at the top of his lungs (almost guaranteeing she can hear) "Lauren! Or Mommy! Rob Wants to Jack off to you!" I can guarantee that she usually hears him, because my mom has been asking me lately if my friends are being too mean to me, or if they treat me right, stuff like that.
Okay now lets talk about why my friends make fun of ME, not my family but ME. As I said I'm pretty street retarded, or just really dumb in general other than like school questions, so H ALWAYS,ALWAYS asks me questions like would you rather, or would you do this, today it was would you let a 8 year old give you a hand job for 1million dollars, and this is always just a choice of, which will get me made fun of for less, so I figured maybe I should go with yes because it's a million dollars, I said yes, and the 8 people that ate lunch at my house today all said DUDE You're a ****ING CREEP, and as soon as we got back to school today hunter went to tell someone in our spanish class (first class after lunch that we both have together) what I did this time at lunch (its always a routine to tell him what I said at lunch) he walked in a little late we were both already in our seats and you could see the excitement in Hs eyes, no exaggeration he was SO EXCITED to tell this story. He tells the story and the person says, what's so bad about that, id do that for a million dollars. And Hs face dropped (it gave me so much satisfaction) H says "oh" and turns around.
Okay now lets talk about combination stories here. They always say things like "rob have you seen BMC give Marcel a bj?" or "rob, I know your gay, and I know Marc is gay, do you guys have buttsex? Or "rob, last night, while you were asleep, marcel recorded lauren and mattchu's sex and jacked off to it, then marc came in and sucked marcels ****. Do you wish you were there?"
Now for where this is brought up. In Class. Never when the teacher can hear, but H especially, ALWAYS tells as many people as he can in every class we have together about something In my family. Girls, Upper Classmen, anyone. And when he asks me those would you rather questions, if I answer "correctly" he will change his question and tell people that's my answer, example "rob, would you bang _____(hot girl)?" and if I say yes, then he turns to the person next to him and says " Dude! Rob just told me that he said he would have sex with ______(insert ugly and mentally challenged kid in our grade)! What a fag right!" and then if I say no I didn't he says "yaaaaaa yeah did" (idk how to explain it but its this voice that he does where he holds the yaaa, and then says the yeah did quick. )
Ive tallied up how many times I'm made fun of compared to others and got outragoues numbers like
Me:30 the entire rest of the class:3 (this is in 1 hour of time then I reset because I can't count my number that high). The point is I know they are joking, but its way way way too much, especially when they bring it up during class and in front of girls that I like, they wonder why I don't talk to them, its because I have no idea what they think of me, and how much of what H has told them they believe, etc. Etc.
I have every class of the day with H, and he won't let me go, if he ever senses I'm slipping from his grasp of friendship he always stops making fun of me, stays really nice to me, and makes me laugh a ton. But in art class, H and V team up and make fun of me. In addition to everything I've already listed, H comes up with something new everyday to pressure me about. Today it was the fact that I don't answer my phone when they call me on weekends. Last friday it was that I try to be like M too much (the only person that doesn't actually make fun of me) the day before that it was that I have an assignment to talk to at least 3 girls today for more than 5 minutes. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Everytime I'm around them (unless they are in the "renewal" stage) I want to kill myself, not in a exaggerational way either, I find myself thinking about suicide every night, going very in depth in my thought process, the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I don't think I could get myself to do it, and I don't want to be that selfish and take my life while ruining my families. In fact, part of me wants to commit suicide and write a note to H saying something powerful that will stay in his head for the rest of his life, like a simple sticky note saying his name and then "**** you *******" and sticky note it on my dead body. I know this is terrible but I can't help my self from thinking of that satisfaction. But on weekends (i usually literally don't leave my house once) I like my life again, this is because I'm not around 1 "friend" the entire time. Whenever they call me to hang out, either on my cell phone or on the home phone and I see caller id on my TV, I literally cringe with absolute nervousness that I'm going to have to talk to them and then potentially hang out with them, at that point in time I want to run and hide not be found for like 30 minutes.
I don't know what to do, I can't get away from them no matter what I do. I guess I could talk to my parents about moving because it's that bad, but I don't know. They'res almost always at least 1 of them in one of my classes, and they don't understand that I hate them, and their such HUGE douchebags that if I told them straight up I hate them and I don't want to talk to them ever again I'd never hear the end of it. If I stop hanging out with them completely then they will just make fun of me in class until I start hanging out with them. Another HUGE HUGE part of this is that they truly are my best friends. I mean apart from making fun of me, (I know that's a huge part of this) they really do fit me perfectly. Its hard for me to explain, but like everything that I think they think as well, we are like all perfectly the same, we like the same things, we think the same things, we do the same things, etc. Like for example, all of us play the same sports, nobody else does that at our school. No group of friends all play the same sports, (football, basketball, baseball). I can't explain it well, but if I could keep them from being ****s to me, they would be my best friends and I would not question them, ever.
I truly don't know if they are using me for my stuff, using me to make fun of, if they really do like me and don't realize how far they are going, or if they I'm just super paranoid and take this further than it is
Ive had other Yahoo answers questions that I've posted and I've gotten all of those responses. I really don't think I'm paranoid, maybe what I've told you doesn't seem very bad but you'd have to be there please don't say that option, I think its much worse than that.
Please help me, Your answers could be EXTREMELY appreciative, like even life saving appreciative. I don't know what to do, and my life is slowly getting worse, I'm thinking about just getting rid of the idea of having friends in my life, making in through high school literally never talking to anyone unless I am prompted to, living completely alone with a terrible life, until the end of college, then get a good job, and maybe live a good life from there. This would mean having a terrible life, but not committing suicide.
If you have any suggestions, or ideas, etc. That would be very helpful, should I talk to this with my parents? Should I ask to move, not tell them why but tell them living here is making me suicidal?
Thanks once again for your time and help, and if you need to your welcome to email this account at [email protected]
EDIT: (that was copied from a post on a different site before) I just discovered that my " the entire time. Whenever they call me to hang out, either on my cell phone or on the home phone and I see caller id on my TV, I literally cringe with absolute nervousness that I'm going to have to talk to them and then potentially hang out with them, at that point in time I want to run and hide not be found for like 30 minutes.
I don't know what to do, I can't get away from them no matter what I do. I guess I could talk to my parents about moving because its that bad, but I don't know. They'res almost always at least 1 of them in one of my classes, and they don't understand that I hate them, and their such HUGE douchebags that if I told them straight up I hate them and I don't want to talk to them ever again I'd never hear the end of it. If I stop hanging out with them completely then they will just make fun of me in class until I start hanging out with them. Another HUGE HUGE part of this is that they truly are my best friends. I mean apart from making fun of me, (i know that's a huge part of this) they really do fit me perfectly. Its hard for me to explain, but like everything that I think they think as well, we are like all perfectly the same, we like the same things, we think the same things, we do the same things, etc. Like for example, all of us play the same sports, nobody else does that at our school. No group of friends all play the exact same sports, (football, basketball, baseball). I can't explain it well, but if I could keep them from being ****s to me, they would be my best friends and I would not question them, ever.
I truly don't know if they are using me for my stuff, using me to make fun of, if they really do like me and don't realize how far they are going, or if they I'm just super paranoid and take this further than it is
Ive had other yahoo answers questions that I've posted and I've gotten all of those responses. I really don't think I'm paranoid, maybe what I've told you doesn't seem very bad but you'd have to be there please don't say that option, I think its much worse than that.
Please help me, Your answers could be EXTREMELY appreciative, like even life saving appreciative. I don't know what to do, and my life is slowly getting worse, I'm thinking about just getting rid of the idea of having friends in my life, making in through high school literally never talking to anyone unless I am prompted to, living completely alone with a terrible life, until the end of college, then get a good job, and maybe live a good life from there. This would mean having a terrible life, but not committing suicide.
If you have any suggestions, or ideas, etc. That would be very helpful, should I talk to this with my parents? Should I ask to move, not tell them why but tell them living here is making me suicidal?
Thanks once again for your time and help, and if you need to your welcome to email this account at [email protected]
EDIT: (that was copied from a post on a different site before) I just discovered that my " are not my friends whatsoever, and never have been for the past 7 years of my life. I didn't let them eat lunch at my house today, because my mom didn't want my sister to have to do their dishes everyday anymore. When I got back from lunch, the "poking fun at and joking" got a WHOOOLE lot worse. It turned from maybe their joking, to me KNOWING they have never liked me, and always used me for my stuff. They verbally bullied me so much, and once they realized that wasn't working, they took turns physically punching me in the face when the teacher wasn't looking (this teacher is old and never is very aware of what's going on). You will think less of me for this, but I didn't do anything. They punched me maybe 50 times in the class. I didn't say stop, because at first I figured it would only be once or twice, and once I realized they wouldn't stop, I was too close to crying (me already being emotional person, combined with the fact I just got punched in the face 20 times). So I didn't want to say anything because I would burst out in tears. I didn't want to tell the teacher because then I would just get beat up or verbally abused much worse. Finally I didn't try to fight them or stop them physically, because I am about 10 inches and 80 pounds smaller than all of them. There were 3 of them, AND I'm way weaker than them and wouldn't be able to do 2 ****s to them