sunbeamrunner
Sep 28, 2011, 09:52 AM
First of all, thank you for taking the time to read this, I really value any feedback or input you guys have.
I have been dating this new guy for about 4 months now. I know this isn't long but I am concerned about the level of affection he shows towards me, or lack of. He is just turned 31 (I am 26) and he has a 6 year old child from his last relationship. We all get along great and his family all say that his son has really taken to me.
He has said that he loves me. But I am a firm believer that actions speak louder than words and the way he is with me makes me question if he really does love me. When we are out together he shows me no affection, he doesn't hold hands, not even a peck on the cheek. At a family meal his sister commented on how distant he is with me and this asked if this was normal. I was so stunned I didn't know what to say. It really upset me as it made me think that he must have been different with his ex.
I spoke to him about it and he said that he is just not that affectionate and that his last relationship was so crummy he is finding it hard to adjust to being with someone that loves him. I stupidly thought he would change a bit for me after this discussion but things are still the same, to the extent where I am afraid of saying I love you to him for fear of feeling dumb and foolish if he doesn't say it back.
We live a far distance apart so only see each other 1-2 times a week which kills me. He barely texts me (whereas he used to text me loads), so I guess this makes the lack of affection when we are together harder as I know that I have missed him loads by the time we meet up, but he doesn't seem to show it unless we are alone (when it may be the odd peck on the cheek).
Am I over reacting? He hasn't been able to meet any of my friends or family yet so I have no one to confide in.
I have been dating this new guy for about 4 months now. I know this isn't long but I am concerned about the level of affection he shows towards me, or lack of. He is just turned 31 (I am 26) and he has a 6 year old child from his last relationship. We all get along great and his family all say that his son has really taken to me.
He has said that he loves me. But I am a firm believer that actions speak louder than words and the way he is with me makes me question if he really does love me. When we are out together he shows me no affection, he doesn't hold hands, not even a peck on the cheek. At a family meal his sister commented on how distant he is with me and this asked if this was normal. I was so stunned I didn't know what to say. It really upset me as it made me think that he must have been different with his ex.
I spoke to him about it and he said that he is just not that affectionate and that his last relationship was so crummy he is finding it hard to adjust to being with someone that loves him. I stupidly thought he would change a bit for me after this discussion but things are still the same, to the extent where I am afraid of saying I love you to him for fear of feeling dumb and foolish if he doesn't say it back.
We live a far distance apart so only see each other 1-2 times a week which kills me. He barely texts me (whereas he used to text me loads), so I guess this makes the lack of affection when we are together harder as I know that I have missed him loads by the time we meet up, but he doesn't seem to show it unless we are alone (when it may be the odd peck on the cheek).
Am I over reacting? He hasn't been able to meet any of my friends or family yet so I have no one to confide in.