This is my last hope, and something that I never thought I would do, but I need help to make a decision. I've been in a relationship for the last four years and I do love my boyfriend, although I question on a daily basis whether I'm in love with him anymore or not. There are times when I can't stand the sight of him, and then there are times when I'm overcome with so much love for him, it overwhelms me.
When we first met, I knew from the minute I saw him that he was the one I wanted to be with and at first everything was great. Up to that point he had been the only man to make me feel absolutely beautiful. He would surprise me with great dates, call all the time, text me good night... everything a girl wants in a man, I had in him. I'm not sure where it all went wrong, but it did. After a while I noticed things going downhill a little bit. Sex was happening less, jokes weren't being told as much, dates weren't happening as often, which I thought was just the normal course of a relationship.
Skip ahead four years and I do still love him, but I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I have a father more then a boyfriend. I work 40+ hours a week, sometimes my day starts at 4am and he will get mad if I try to take a nap after work and calls me lazy on a daily basis anymore. I am constantly on the go from the moment I wake up in the morning. Even on my days off I seem to work harder then when I am at work! Mine and his family all see what I do on a daily basis and are amazed that I'm able to keep up the way that I am, but he doesn't see that. No matter what I do, it's never enough for him.
He makes comments indirectly to me that makes me question myself. When I met him I was almost 220lbs, I am down to 145lbs now, but even that doesn't feel like an accomplishment. He's always telling me I should go on a diet, I should get healthier meanwhile, he's eating cupcakes and playing video games.
Our sex life, which used to be amazing, has fizzled to almost nothing. He's only concerned about his pleasure and could careless about mine. He never used to be like that, which again, makes me question myself. Maybe he's just not attracted to me anymore? He says he is, but actions seem to speak louder then words do.
But my real dilemma stems from work. There's a guy that I work with that I have found myself deeply attracted to. I've liked him since he started, but lately the attractions growing more and more on both of our parts. He's told me straight out that he likes me. He's a too good to be true kind of guy. Great smile, funny, so sweet, caring, willing to drop everything to help me when I need it. He's the total package that every girl is searching for. My favorite part of the day is when he comes into work. I usually only get to see him for a minute as I'm leaving for the day, but I always walk out smiling because I've talked to him. He tells me everyday that I'm beautiful,and that I'm the best part of his day. When I am there longer and he walks by we both just stare at each other and you can't get the smiles off our faces.
I feel horrible for having feelings for someone else. I've been with my boyfriend for four years and we have been through hell and back, but I can't help liking my friend from work. I feel as if I'm the worst girlfriend on this planet right now. It took me a long time to find someone that I love as much as my boyfriend, and whether we stay together or break up tomorrow, no one else will ever take his place in my heart, but I'm just wondering if all the hell we've been through just hasn't taken its toll on me. It used to be that I couldn't even bring myself to look at any other man, cause no man even compared to him in my eyes, but with my friend from work, somehow things have changed. I don't know what to do right now, and asking friends is out of the question, they're too close to me and would only tell me what I want to hear or what they think I want to hear. So, my question is, #1... am I as horrible a person and girlfriend as I feel right now and #2... should I let my relationship go and pursue something with my friend? I'm more then confused and in desperate need of advice.

So two guys you met that are the full package impressive

You know that's the start of most relationships after the honeymoon phase is over you are left with something more than just physical but more mental.
Or at least you should.

Sadly with. Your current relationship things have gone down hill have you guys ever spoken about these problems? Have you ever told him what his comments do to you? I feel this talk with you and him is long over due
You have two options here ask yourself do you really love your boyfriend if your. Eyes are going to another man then it's a no.
Because you are lacking that passion that spark that feeling wanted you once had in your old relationship.

And that feeling will die down in any long term relationship but you must talk about your feelings and both of you must work at it together if you ever want to bring the fire back in the relationship


Now what you have with office boy is a huge crush it's normal your emotional cheating on him right now though
What should have happened is when you felt them feelings. You should. Have really avoided this guy as. Much as possible because now he is an easy way out to you does he know your in a relationship?

I would say talk with your boyfriend about how you feel give him another chance he and yourself have earned that over the last 4 years.

If you feel. It's too much work or you don't want to put any effort into it then break up with him now.
I get the impression that you have already made up your mind
You want that new fresh boyfriend feel

All thebest

I can understand ending the current relationship, but jumping into another one without a proper healing period will create a lot more problems than it solves.

Maybe its time to move beyond the old relationship, but don't fool yourself into falling for another one that looks great on the surface, and makes you feel better just yet.

That's how all relationships, even bad ones start, great but fade when they have don't have feel good and great sex any more. You should know that from first hand experience.

Leave if that's what you want, but take time for a PROPER HEALING, what's the hurry??

The grass is always greener.

Have you discussed the way you feel with your boyfriend. I would tell him everything you are saying here.
If you really want to be honest. With him & yourself.

I would either invest or split.

But, not because of a co-worker tickles your fancy.
Not only is it jumping from the fire into the flame, it could mean losing your job.

Don't be that girl.

If you are done & don't want to continue, then don't. Lasting relationships require work.

But don't get into another one. That's easy.

Okay #1, you're not the worst girlfriend in the whole world, these feelings you get, well, I guess all I could say is that you feel that way because your boyfriend isn't showing it the way he used to, so deep inside, your probably desperate. Maybe your boyfriend acted the way your friend from work does, and that's why you still love him, but since he's not showing any emotion, and even making you feel negative about yourself, your emotions are already hungry for some companionship, and that's why you feel so attracted to this guy.
#2, if you truly feel like you still have a chance with you boyfriend, then don't give up hope, and try to make this work, but if you really don't see any more future with him, then don't stay there and suffer. Try telling you boyfriend how you really feel, and if things don't work out after that, then there's really no more you can do after that. But before you can pursue your friend, if you really need it, try taking some healing time, because two breakups altogether will be really painful, so it's best to take sometime for yourself. But if you think you feel good about pursuing your friend, then no one's stoping you, go right ahead :)