Sophie000
Sep 20, 2011, 03:32 AM
Hello everybody
I'm looking for some wise advice, I don't really have anyone to talk to about this so hopefully one of you out there can help.
I have been with my husband for 3 years. Actually we are not married because of this problem I am about to mention, but I consider him a husband anyway since we have a child together and live as husband and wife.
He is a wonderful man, very loving and caring, a great father. There is nothing I can find fault with in him, we have our little arguments but nothing serious, except for this problem that seems to be in me. I just don't know if I love him.
I forgot to mention I am 24 and he is 35. I got pregnant the first time we slept together. I have only had one boyfriend before him. So this is a case of me being crazy with curiosity about other men, other experiences, having thoughts like my fun life is over, now I'm a mum and wife, I will never feel free and easy again. I am tempted all the time by fantasies about a new beginning, being out on my own again (with my son of course, he is almost 3), and making the most of my youth.
So now I have been kind of stuck in this position for almost the whole time we have been together, half here with him, half not.
I can't go on like this, and even though I say nothing, he is very sensitive and senses it. Lately almost every night he has been having dreams about me leaving him, which is amazing because outwardly I am loving and its only inside that I have this confusion, but he picked it up. This is obviously not good for my son either. I don't want to regret leaving him, but I also don't want to regret staying this way for years until I'm old and nobody else wants me! I'm ashamed to admit this but I will- there is an element of vanity here, I feel like I'm too young and attractive to be stuck inside the house all day every day cleaning and looking after my son, I feel like I'm wasting my life.
Okay. That's pretty much it. Please diagnose! I really need help something has to change.
I'm looking for some wise advice, I don't really have anyone to talk to about this so hopefully one of you out there can help.
I have been with my husband for 3 years. Actually we are not married because of this problem I am about to mention, but I consider him a husband anyway since we have a child together and live as husband and wife.
He is a wonderful man, very loving and caring, a great father. There is nothing I can find fault with in him, we have our little arguments but nothing serious, except for this problem that seems to be in me. I just don't know if I love him.
I forgot to mention I am 24 and he is 35. I got pregnant the first time we slept together. I have only had one boyfriend before him. So this is a case of me being crazy with curiosity about other men, other experiences, having thoughts like my fun life is over, now I'm a mum and wife, I will never feel free and easy again. I am tempted all the time by fantasies about a new beginning, being out on my own again (with my son of course, he is almost 3), and making the most of my youth.
So now I have been kind of stuck in this position for almost the whole time we have been together, half here with him, half not.
I can't go on like this, and even though I say nothing, he is very sensitive and senses it. Lately almost every night he has been having dreams about me leaving him, which is amazing because outwardly I am loving and its only inside that I have this confusion, but he picked it up. This is obviously not good for my son either. I don't want to regret leaving him, but I also don't want to regret staying this way for years until I'm old and nobody else wants me! I'm ashamed to admit this but I will- there is an element of vanity here, I feel like I'm too young and attractive to be stuck inside the house all day every day cleaning and looking after my son, I feel like I'm wasting my life.
Okay. That's pretty much it. Please diagnose! I really need help something has to change.