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sambazza
Sep 13, 2011, 08:50 PM
I get bullied at school because I'm ginger but it has been going on all my life and every time I get bullied I kind of make myself ill like the next morning I feel very ill and I need some advice on overcoming that. I also do archery with my dad and they also have started bullying me because I do that sport

justcurious55
Sep 13, 2011, 09:03 PM
Have you told any adults about what is going on? Or tried getting a teacher involved?

Growing up is tough and kids can be mean. A lot of the time, when someone is bullying someone else, it's because they're insecure and trying to make themselves feel better. It doesn't make it any easier to hear their hurtful comments, but it makes it easier to understand why it happens.

Sometimes the best response to bullying is no response at all. Bullies usually like to get a reaction. If you don't react, they'll likely get bored and move on.

And as long as you enjoy doing archery with your father, keep doing it. It's a unique talent, not everyone knows how to (your bullies might even me jealous of it). And years from now you'll look back and be grateful you got that chance to bond with your father.

sambazza
Sep 13, 2011, 09:08 PM
My whole family know I am bullied and my mam is going to have a meeting with my teacher tomorrow but I'm in year 8 and its been going on since year 1

justcurious55
Sep 13, 2011, 09:16 PM
I wish I had more advice to offer you. I know it's rough now. But it really does get better, even if it doesn't seem like it now.

sambazza
Sep 13, 2011, 09:25 PM
Its okay

justcurious55
Sep 13, 2011, 09:31 PM
That's the thing, it's not okay. It's good that you're trying not to let it get to you. But it's not okay for these kids to bully you. Don't let yourself think that they have any right to bully you, or that you deserve it.

TurningPages
Sep 15, 2011, 08:40 PM
Hi,
I'm trully sorry for what you're going through. Bullying is really nasty and it can scar someone's life forever.
I was also bullied at school but because of my weight. Kids were calling me fat because of some extra pounds I had gained during my teenage years. My best friend who was at normal weight was called skinny, chicken legs etc. My sister was bullied because of her acne. My cousin is bullied 'cause he's gay. My mom told me how she still feels bad when she thinks about a guy at her school who was telling her she had fat calves.

What I'm trying to say here is that it doesn't matter if you are ginger, do archery etc. Nothing really matters because if someone wants to bully you, they're going to do it anyway. You can show up at school with dyed hair and stop doing archery but people who bullied you before will find something else to make you feel bad about. You can be the most flawless creature in the world, it won't matter because they'll make something up just to make you feel bad.

My advice to you is of course to let an adult, who cares about you and can help, know (parent, teacher), but most importantly, don't let your bullies see that their mean words affect you in any way. If they see that what they say makes you feel bad, they'll never stop. You should always be confident and look fearless around them (even if inside you, you feel differently). You shouldn't lose yourself respect under any circumstances. Don't walk away when you see them and don't give them the pleasure that they are feared.
Pretend that they are not there, laugh with your friends and show them that you're having fun and you don't care about them. Most bullies seek attention and when they realise that they won't get it, they give up.

Some of them though might not stop. These bullies, you'll have to face. I know it's hard but if you don't, they'll never stop and your whole life, you will look back and regret the fact that you didn't do anything to defend yourself. I don't mean to get in a fist fight with them of course. Violence is never the answer. But make clear to them that you're not a victim they can push around whenever they feel like it.
The next time they'll insult you, try having a clear mind and think of something witty to say back. Even if they won't stop bothering you at once, at least you'll feel good about yourself because you reacted.

Bullies are very timid deep down and take their insecurities out on others. And if you're quiet and kind, for some reason, they see you as an easy prey. Do you think they would go against someone stonger than them? No, because they're cowards. You should feel sorry for them and not fear them.

And please don't feel ashamed about your red hair. I'm in fashion industry and I can assure you that ginger models book the best jobs. All designers are fond of them because of their rare and ethereal beauty. See Chantal Stafford-Abbott or male supermodel Danila Polyakov. Gorgeous people! Plus, there are so many gingers like Axl Rose, Nicole Kidman and so many others who made their ginger hair their trademark instead of being ashamed of it. And you should do the same.

Sorry for my long text. I hope I helped even a little.
Best luck in everything you do!

martinizing2
Sep 15, 2011, 09:39 PM
Well done TurningPages.

It is hard for many to admit to, or advise a person that some form of violence can only be subdued with like action.

Intervention from adults , school officials , even the police will cause a certain percentage of bully to try harder and has to be dealt with by the person being bullied.
Often as TPages said the bully will stop when he finds out you will reach a point and make a stand but it may result in a confrontation.

I am a believer in everybody having some training in self defense.
Ju jitsu , ti kwan do , mma , boxing or most any training in self defense can be an enormus boost in confidence.
I like the ju jitsu because the "basics" are to stop and subdue (a very basic analogy) and it is effective.

God forbid you have to fight. But if you do it helps to have some basic knowledge and have practiced how to react.

We all will almost certainly encounter bullies somewhere in our lives and from experience I can tell you a tiny bit of preparedness can explode into confidence in yourself.
And that is the real key, to believe in you.

You have already shown maturity by seeking answers and the strength and fortitude it requires to do this speaks well of you.

I believe you have inner strength already in you to handle this. Now you have to believe it too.

Keep us updated on your progress.

sambazza
Sep 22, 2011, 02:44 PM
Hi, thanks for the answers recently it has been quiet but in a few weeks it will start again I will keep yoou updated