Out of fear of me finding out in another way, my boyfriend just informed me that for the last six years, every now and again, he would give oral sex, (or receive it while watching straight porn), for money to a rich gay man.

I've dated my boyfriend for almost a year, and live with him, and just found this all out. My boyfriend finally opened up to me once he realized this man was going to contact me. I guess my boyfriend had, for the most part, disappeared from this man since he and I met.

From what I'm told they met up once in the beginning of our relationship, and then it stopped. About a month ago this man started calling my boyfriend non-stop and threatening him if he didn't start seeing him again.

They met up last week... My boyfriend pretended he was going to do the "job" he used to do for this man before meeting me, but instead took the man's money, and ran away.

He said he didn't intend on doing anything with him. He just wanted to take his money, so the guy would learn to stop harassing him, and my boyfriend needed the money. We had both lost our jobs last month, and although getting back on our feet, we are still a little behind.

I never thought of my boyfriend as gay, and although he's obviously sick, I still don't think he's gay. Just psychologically damaged.

I've stumbled upon his porn history on the computer, (of women by themselves), and he seems very attracted to women that pass by... Not that I like that, but hey, he looks. Apparently this whole thing started with this guy when my boyfriend had just turned 18 years old and was broke and living on his own.

This mN had come into my boyfriend's restaurant he worked at thE time and had given him an amazing tip, and left his business card, informing my boyfriend that he had a great job opportunity for him. This guy actually knew my boyfriend's friend at the time, so my boyfriend felt comfortable meeting up with this guy to find out about the job.

Turns out the job was for him to give him oral sex for pay. Sometimes even gifts, new furniture, etc. My boyfriend has had a troubled past with his alcoholic mother who had abandoned him at a young age, so he has a past of pain and damage and feelings of neglect and worthlessness, (so there's already low self worth), and since he was broke, he figured he would do it just that one time, block it out of his memory, and take the money.

It turned into a regular thing for the next six years. Whenever this man wanted my boyfriend to come over, he would threaten him with harm to my boyfriend's family if he didn't come over to do it again, or would tell all of his friends and family that he was gay if he didn't do it.

So, my boyfriend, feeling all of this guilt and shame would comply, and be rewarded with money. Either do it to this guy or having the guy do it to him while he was zoned out on pills and watching straight porn to be able to go through with it.

This guy knew my boyfriend wasn't into it, but obviously took advantage. Now this man continues with his threats, and even has lawyers and private detectives helping him to make it look as though my boyfriend has stolen from him, and is threatening that if my boyfriend doesn't continue to do this job for him every once in awhile, that his life will be ruined with the damage that this man can and "will" do using the law (he's successful and has some profession with lawyers).

This man has threatened that he will harm my boyfriends family, as well as me, and my boyfriends reputation. This man has already harassed us by having the cops show up with false claims that my boyfriend was trying to commit suicide, as well as has called my boyfriend's father and friends telling them that my boyfriend is gay, (he obtained the phone numbers from my boyfriends call log, because one of the gifts he once gave my boyfriend was a phone, which allowed him to look at call logs online).

How do we settle this and get away from this guy? He is wealthy, and has investigators gathering information on his behalf. He knows my car, my name, where my boyfriend lives. How do we move on as a couple? How do I heal? How does he heal? How should I take all of this?

My boyfriend is full of guilt, shame, and feels like he wants to die sometimes because of the humiliation and possible future humiliation.

Please help. This man is powerful, and we are poor.

I would say you end this relationship now while you still can. He is playing on your sympathy.

Do you actually kknow all you have written that you have been threatened and your family by this 'rich man' or is this what your b/f has told you?

Summation, get out of it while you can; I think it is all a good story on your b/fs part; no one, absolutely no one has this much power over the police. If you want to go one step further, report this man to the police or the FBI, if you want the number we can find that for you.

Tick

Sounds to me like he wanted to do it... no force was involved.

The last thing a guy wants to do is put his Johnson in the mouth of an unwilling participant. Teeth clamping down will ruin his life real quick. Your boyfriend decided the money and the gifts were worth performing oral repeatedly on another man.

Most straight guys would never consider it at any price. But apparently he liked doing it enough to keep doing it.

Not unlike some female escorts do for extra money they don't actually need for survival.

Most women would not consider that either in any but the most poor countries.

I know what he tells you... and reality is people tend to say what they think you want to hear, you wasn't there and don't know the other guy to hear their side. I believe this is also one of those times. Its not like a gun was to his head and it happened only once.

Let's get this out of the way. Your boyfriend did steal from him at least once-this last time.

I am very curious about the time line.

'... my boyfriend just informed me... ' Sounds like he in the past few days told you all of this.

However, this makes it sound like you have known or been aware of a problem for much longer:


This man has already harassed us by having the cops show up with false claims that my boyfriend was trying to commit suicide, as well as has called my boyfriend's father and friends telling them that my boyfriend is gay, (he obtained the phone numbers from my boyfriends call log, because one of the gifts he once gave my boyfriend was a phone, which allowed him to look at call logs online).

It is also interesting that the man 'left' your boyfriend alone for a year, then shows up in his life again about a month ago. If he is as powerful as you seem to think and wants your boyfriend as much as your boyfriend says, I doubt it would have taken him a year to get in touch. The phone would have shown where your boyfriend is.

Apparently, the man has already told family and friends so his 'blackmail' threats don't hold water.

Other than supposedly false allegations of stealing, there really isn't anything else that can be said or done from what you have posted that hasn't been. The police are involved. You, his father and friends know at least part of the story. Who else is there left to care about?

Your boyfriend needs to get his life in order. If he is feeling all of these negative emotions and they are affecting his daily life, he needs to look into counseling. If you are in the states, many health departments can get him in touch with the proper people. You/he can do research on what is available in your area if you aren't.

As for you, you can decide to stay with him and try to work through the issues with him. Be prepared for more revelations that may change the facts as you know them at this moment.

You have a better concept of the actual time line and events. However, it seems like in this past month a lot has happened according to your post. I would take a step back and get the facts before deciding to stay with him. Actually, because of the discrepancies, I would probably walk away.

I really don't believe this 'man' is a worthwhile person, and probably putting on an act, not as great as he thinks he is. I also don't think the b/f is entirely up front with the OP about his involvement with this 'man'. I think he probably enjoys every minute of the drama that he has created in all of this.

Tick

They met up last week... My boyfriend pretended he was going to do the "job" he used to do for this man before meeting me, but instead took the man's money, and ran away. . . He said he didn't intend on doing anything with him. He just wanted to take his money, so the guy would learn to stop harassing him.
Let me get this straight. To make this guy go away, your boyfriend thought larceny was the best move.. . Your boyfriend is either a bad liar, or just stupid. Why would anyone think that is a good idea? Moreover, the fact that you posted that is evidence against your boyfriend, should this rich creep find this post.

Secondly, if this guy was harassing your boyfriend for the past six years, why hasn't he reported this creep already? He may even be able to sue for damages. Six years have gone by and he's 24 (right?), I think I speak for everyone when I say it's really puzzling why a grown man has not stuck up for himself.

My gut tells me these pills that your boyfriend needed in order to "go through with it" is a big factor in his relationship with the rich guy.

Your boyfriend sounds like a real shady dude, break up with him.

I think there has to be a lot more to the story, I am sorry it is causing you the hurt and pain.

Depending on how young he was when it started, he may have been talked into, but it appears over the years he has done it willingly. This does not mean he is a bad person, he just agreed to have sex for money,

After that he has now stolen money from the man, Not sure what this will do to stop him calling and threatening. Now he can threaten to report him to the police.

There is nothing that a sex partner can threaten

Yeah, he wasn't forced to do this... for money and gifts... that's not being forced. I'm thinking your BF likes or liked doing this and was messing around with the guy without your knowledge. Maybe they had some kind of fight and the other guy threatened to tell you... so, it could be that your BF decided to fabricate a story for you in case the other guy did try to tell you. Maybe... maybe not.

Either way, he wasn't forced, that much I know. And think about it, no straight guy is going to want to perform oral on another guy... not for money or gifts.

I think there's way more involved behind this ridiculous story he told you.

I find it interesting that there first time the boyfriend was propositioned he willingly agreed because he needed the money, now he is being forced into doing these things? Sounds like a good movie to me.

You have 3 choices here: you and your boyfriend call the police and file a harrassment/rape charge, you leave him, or you continue to live this lie.

Thank you all for caring so much. When I posted this last week, it was the day after I had found out about what was going on. My mind wasn't thinking clearly, and I was in shock. Now things are a lot more in perspective, but I still have some questions circling around in my mind. My boyfriend and I have done a lot of talking. He's changed his number, so the guy can't reach him anymore, and I feel like he's finally realized he can't b.s. about this story anymore... at least as much as he had (I mean, I can't necessarily trust that he's 100% honest after all). At 18, when he met this man, he was into drugs and his family turned there back on him, and sometimes he had nowhere to go (he was locked out and ignored)... this man offered him money, small gifts, got him out of trouble with his minor misdemeanors, allowed for him to stay at his house while he wasn't around just to hang out and get away. First it started as a "job offer" meet up, the money was offered, my dumb boyfriend thought quick money for drugs was a good idea, then the guy got to know him a little more and started helping him out in the ways I just listed... when my boyfriend didn't want to do it anymore, the threats would start. My boyfriend had several gf's since and lied to all of them the same way he did me. Some found out and left. Some never knew. I guess the reason this man started to search for me was because he was getting jealous that my boyfriend had a girl in his life and didn't want to be with him. This guy wanted more than just an occasional escort. My boyfriend decided this last month he wanted to end this for once and for all, but thought he should go over to the guy's place one more time, take the money this time and not do anything for it. Of course this pissed the man off, he started calling my boyfriend non-stop that night and my boyfriend was crying to him saying he just wanted to die and wanted all of this to end. That's why the police showed up that night. I had just gotten home from work after all of this happened (we live together), and things seemed fine. Then the police showed up saying this man had called saying his roommate wanted to kill himself. When the police showed up, I was baffled and my boyfriend pretended he was confused. The police left thinking this crazy man obsessed with my boyfriend (who my boyfriend had previously "worked for" and was just obsessed with him)was just a lunatic and calling the police out of the blue on my boyfriend just to harass him because of the past that had been supposedly long over and was never anything more than an undeserved obsession. This man, a couple day later finally got a hold of me... told me that my boyfriend had been his boyfriend for 6 years (not an escort... but when I asked if he paid for the sex and what not, the guy started to fumble on his words badly and wouldn't give a clear answer). My boyfriend thought he could just ignore his past and never have to tell me, and we could go on in our happy little relationship. Stupid boy. Now that I know, my boyfriend has opened up to me... the first person he's ever been able to admit what he enjoyed about the sexual experiences, what he likes done to him, what damage he feels has been inflicted on him, his feelings of guilt and shame. I've told him what he's done was extremely wrong, I don't know if I'll ever trust him, and that he doesn't know what love is. I also told him that what he enjoys sexually is not wrong, whether he's bi, gay, straight or whatever. That's fine, but disrespecting people, partners and lying is incredibly selfish, dangerous (health wise), and that is what he should feel guilt and shame for. He told me this man made him feel good and did things to him that he was ashamed to tell women he wanted done to him, but that he hated the fact a guy was doing it... and that's where the drugs, alcohol, and watching straight porn while it was done came into play. However, he did do things to this man... even if they didn't stick in each in other's you know what, they did everything else... I've told him if he enjoys both sexes then we should talk about it and there should be a healthy understanding between us about what's allowed and not allowed, and if I'm not the one for him, then I'm not the one, but that someone else will please him the way he wants to be pleased as long as there is trust and respect. I informed him of the importance of respect and honesty, and that if he were to just go slow with a partner, not cheat on them, and over time grow close and begin to experiment with them, that things could be really great for him. He's telling me he wants to be with me, wants a future with me, wants a family with me, wants my trust, and wants honesty. He's also telling me he feels no need to do that to a man again, have it done to him by a man again, and wants to do those acts with me now that his secret desires are out... he was just afraid to admit and talk about his sexual needs with me before, and this guy had helped him realize what he liked, beginning at 18 when he was just trying to make drug money and get by... what do you think of this??

Is he still addicted to drugs?

My Boyfriend Was Forced into Sexual Favors with a Man - - What Do I Do? Hello just:

Forced?? FORCED?? I didn't read about any FORCE. What I read is that your boyfriend is a prostitute and a thief, and he's gay too.

If that's fine with you, stick around.

excon

Connsider these facts...

#1 He played the skin flute for pay... not once but over years.
Then lied to you about the details.

#2 He committed a robbery. No excuses allowed. Robbery is robbery.

Besides the addiction issues I see a track record of poor choices he isn't taking personal responsibility for.

Do I care that he once used? No, I care about he might still be.

Do I care if he liked sausage? No, I do care that he wasn't honest about it. (and if you both haven't been tested you should be). There MIGHT have been more than he admitted to.

Do I care about him robbing the guy, Damn right I am... and you should be as well. You are likely to be the next victim.

What's with the name change?

I can't thank you all enough for helping me analyze this! I really, truly can't! I promised I wouldn't tell our friends about this, in order to help him through his self realization and guilt and shame; but it's made me feel alone.

Name change because I couldn't log back in for some reason with the other name.

Okay... bad choice after bad choice always thinking he could get away with it, feeling like a bad person who was worth nothing, and this man kept allowing him back into his live like an idiot, allowing for him to play his dumb games. So we have two people here who manipulate and make bad choices with one another... and then there's me who has too much a heart of gold. I want to believe because my boyfriend is young and had troubled youth and bad background and now feels hopeless because he's done too much wrong that he now just wants to make things right. I want to support this choice of his. I want to help. I want to believe him (not trust because that's out the window)... but I don't want to be nieve either and have him cheat on me or steal from me (I doubt he'd steal though... I'm someone he looks up to, not someone he sees as a money bag he receives sexual pleasure from). He's telling me now that what started as a one time thing for money turned into something rather enjoyable, but he felt guilty for it because of who it was with a guy and it mentally broke him down. He's scared to be labeled gay. This guy threatened to tell his friends he was gay, so that probably made him feel ashamed, he has no gay friends, and his dad told him gay means you're sick. He has told his dad about this though. He's opened up a lot to me and to his father (more so me though). I see progress, and having had me in his life (my genuine, be kind to everyone and open mindedness self) has probably helped him to see some sort of light and realize how ****ty it was for him to do what he's done. I want to help people, but I don't want to be hurt in the process. Plus I live with him and I can't just run out right away yet... if I choose to do so.

In the mean time though, is he in denial about being bi or maybe just straight up lying to me? He says he watches straight porn, never wanted a man, and doesn't want one again... it was just what the man did to him and he didn't know a woman would be willing and he was scared to ask. Furthermore, is it possible someone see the light and become an honest person?

Dam... I just don't know where in this day and age you draw the line when it comes to sexuality and helping people... nor do I know how much to believe that someone who's so down about themselves and feels so ashamed for their past will actually turn to becoming a true, honest person. I have no sorrow for him anymore. I realize he wasn't forced. I was stupid for believing in the possibility of that for the first 24 hours when my mind was in shock.

He lied... he's still lying about this and I bet he's lying about far more things too. You MIGHT (but I don't see how) be manipulated onto a one time act. You don't get manipulated into a Homosexual act repeatedly over years if you don't like performing it it. No possible way, that just doesn't happen. Would YOU perform oral on another woman if YOU didn't like it? Think about that a minute. Not just once... but repeatedly over years.

He's telling you a BS story about why and how rather than simply being honest. In other words he's been telling lies... and he is still telling lies.

He is blaming everyone else rather than accepting full responsibility for his own choices... and the robbery, the repeated oral acts... the drugs... every one of those was his own personal choices.

I don't doubt you have a good heart... but he is now the one doing the manipulating here. Accepting money for sexual favors is Prostitution... and that makes him a male prostitute. Or at the very least, previously one. That's a misdemeanor offense, but still another crime.

The issue isn't if he is bi or not... its the fact he never accepts responsibility, AND has issues telling the truth. Not to count... following the law. He committed a robbery after all. That's a felony that will result in jail time if convicted. And would let him practice up on his prior paid profession.

You could possibly inadvertently get tied in with any future crimes he may commit. I think you can do far better, these sorts of actions are going to seriously hamper how far he will advance in life. Which means you might end up renting in a Trailer park rather than owning an upscale home in a nice neighborhood years from now if you marry him.

(no - he's not still doing drugs - just to answer your question there)

You're all right... I guess I just want to believe in the good of people and that they can become better. He doesn't deserve me, nor do I deserve this b.s. I just always wish for the best in people, and I always end up waiting around trying to help their lives. It's so often that ex's contact me to tell me how much I've helped them to realize in life, thanking me. I feel like I'm just a lesson giver to help people to become better people. It's a burden though... who's loving me. I truly do get multiple compliments when I go out, and am hit on regularly by strangers. I'm open minded and easy going and really want to have a good relationship. I'm pretty much the best girlfriend to have. Not that I've always been this way; but I find myself to have been so in the last three relationships for sure (I'm 28 now). I'm starting to feel stupid, and settling almost seemed like the only choice, but I guess that's how people end up sitting at the bar drinking their sorrows away with nothing to show for it by "retirement" age... damn... so moving on's the option. I know in some odd way he truly thinks he loves me. It's because no one has shown him love, and I've been the first to show him (for an entire year) what genuine love feels like (to receive anyway). I hope leaving doesn't make him fall back into his old ways. How do I always end up in mixed up situations. It's truly never obvious until I live with the guy... then the skeletons come out of the closet to play. Well, I'm 28... have to be smart on this next choice if I ever want a best friend, partner, and a family someday. Thank you all.

Everybody is spot on in this thread. Now the hard question, or if somebody already asked it. Apologize ahead of time for skimming through the answers.

Now I think it is your job to get tested for STD. The risk factor with the history , etc... Not sure if you were practicing safe sex or not. Please get yourself tested for stds, maybe it was not on your mind but considering the circumstances it should be.

It's on my mind. I'm making him pay for it. Thank you all so much. If I hadn't found this website, and you all hadn't taken the time to cared enough to respond, I don't know what I would've done. I appreciate your straight forward answers and support. How did I get twisted in this shiit? My god... just when you think you know someone. Thank you again.

Listen, people make mistakes, people make bad decisions, it’s a part of life, and there not one person here and on this site who has not made bad decisions before. Yea, some are worse than others, but no one is perfect. If you think you can trust him again and love him you can move on from this. It would take counseling. But be prepared to find out that he may be gay or bi, or whatever. Yes what he did was wrong, but this was BEFORE you. He did these things in the past, and there's not ONE of these posters here who have not told another OP to leave the past in the past. Yes you need to be checked for STD's, yes you have every reason to not trust him right now, but if you love him, you can't let his past ruin your future. Do you deserve to be lied to? Nope, no one does. But I have to ask, do you love him, do you want to work this out, do you want a future with this man? Or are you looking for us to tell you--you should leave him? If so, take the actions to make things better, not only for him, but for you too. Or get out. Tell him that this is something you can’t move past, and you cannot love someone who has lied to you about such an important thing. You deserve better, and he deserves to be better for you.

It's on my mind. I'm making him pay for it. Thank you all so much. If I hadn't found this website, and you all hadn't taken the time to cared enough to respond, I don't know what I would've done. I appreciate your straight forward answers and support. How did I get twisted in this shiit?! My god... just when you think you know someone. Thank you again.

Having a good heart opens you up to this sort of thing. Usually it takes a few hard knocks like this one to learn that things usually ARE what they first appear to be and you didn't have a wrong first impression, And not be so quick to assume all people are a good inside as you might be. That first impression is more likely to be correct than any second or third guess would be.

People CAN change... but its rare without a near death experience being involved. The rest just lie and pretend. Usually at someone else's expense.

And just so you know... its not just you, deciding when to cut your losses and move on is rarely a simple or easy decision for anyone. Most of us have been there before, sometimes more than once.

Aurora Bell... if this was a part of his past, then this would be sooooo much easier for me to handle, and not a reason for me to be mad. He has been doing this behind my back at least once a month for the entire year that I've dated him. He'd still be doing this (more than likely, because he'd been doing this for six years now with this one guy) had the guy not found out my boyfriend had a girlfriend (found out about me), and out of jealousy decided to try and find me to tell me that my boyfriend was hist escort. The part that gets me is that I would drop my boyfriend off at his job thinking he had to work, or allow him to borrow my car while I went to work, and he would go to this guy, have dinner with him, and get paid to enjoy giving or receiving head.. . and he can't tell me why he did this other than that he is "self destructive" and he still claims he doesn't like guys at all. I told him if he's bi, he's bi... but that he can't cheat and lie to me, or anyone for that matter. This is difficult for me because he can't tell me the main reason why he did this again and again, ruining his self respect and three relationships; so how is it possible for him to determine why he wouldn't do it again? If he doesn't know why he did it, then how can he determine how to fill that void that caused him to return to this man to play escort again and again? He said he just liked being paid to be pleasured because this man knew just what to do when sucking him and the way he would touch his behind (sorry to get graphic here, but this is what I'm dealing with),. things he was afraid to ask for from a girl because he would be labeled "gay" and/or they would find out or assume that he learned this from a guy, or ask where he learned about it and would find out that he was cheating on them, so he never asked his gf's to do these things to him even though he enjoyed them. He decided it was better to try to cut corners to get ahead and accept this man's money and get off all at the same time. He said he had to watch straight porn while he had this male pleasuring him (knowing this man wanted more physically and emotionally & knowing he supposedly wasn't attracted to men in the first place), and then have the man would later threaten the lives of his friends and family (weeks later), along with threatening he would expose my boyfriend's lies if he seemed like he wasn't going to come back to play escort again. It's difficult for me to believe my boyfriend just liked receiving money and what the man was doing to him and that he didn't actually enjoy that a guy was doing it. After all, he did it to the guy in return... "for money."

Justme, it seems everyday you are getting more of the story and it just keeps getting worse.

As far as I am concerned this isn't about sexual likes and dislikes and being able to be open about them. For me, it is about the lying that he seems to still be doing. There seems to be a pattern of expanding on the truth as you come to accept parts of the story. For example: he hadn't heard from the man for about a year. Now, they were meeting up every month. I think you are still watching this unfold like a plot in a soap opera. Lots of twists and turns still to come.

The only thing I believe is that he may like anal play. He doesn't have to be gay or bi to enjoy having his prostate manipulated. It isn't uncommon among heterosexual males.

I think you need to walk away. Your line about 'making him pay' is a good reason. If you are staying in the relationship to be able to punish him, then you are damaging yourself. Take some time away from him and get your head back on straight without his influence. I think you will see things much clearer after you allow the confusion to dissipate.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and please, take care of yourself.

You keep mentioning that he still claims he doesn't like guys... that he "had to watch straight porn"... you may believe that, and I understand if you do, but I don't believe it. You don't understand how he could keep going back to this guy and losing his self respect... look at it objectively... he does like guys. He does. No straight guy is going to keep doing this (or wouldn't ever do it in the first place) if he didn't like guys. So he's bi at the very least... don't let him fool you into thinking otherwise.

Now, I understand that him being bi may not be an issue with you and really it doesn't matter if that is the issue. The real problem is the lying and the deceit. Originally when I read that you were going to stay with him I thought that it was good of you to try and work through this and that you were willing to accept that he may be bi... now, after reading your last few posts, it's clear that he has been lying to you all along, doing this behind your back. If he was doing this with a woman every month, you would be pissed and leaving him because he was cheating on you. So I ask... would you consider this cheating? I would. Still and all, if I was you, knowing what you know now, I'd be gone and not simply cause he's bi but because he lied and cheated on you.

Nobody could blame you for leaving him knowing all this.

Take care.

I didn't realize he was still doing this justme. I would definitely get rid of this guy. He's a liar! And even though he says he is not gay, he most certainly is. No one deserves to be lied to, or cheated on. It doesn't matter who he cheated on you with, but the fact that he cheated! Would you have stayed this long had it been an older woman he was giving/getting sexual favors from?

I am really sorry you are going through this, it's not easy. I hope you feel confident with the choices that you make. My advice, walk, run, fly get the heck out of there and don't look back.

Take care
Bella

He did it over and over again... money or no money... he obviously liked it.

I can possibly write off a one time event as "for the money"... but repeat performances... are only because he enjoyed it. Most guys wouldn't do it even once for any realistic amount of money much less chump change.

Besides NOW he is claiming... he was the one getting the knob polished vs vice-versa. Like that changes anything... well, it exposes him as a bigger liar.

Let me cue you in on something.

A guys antenna isn't going to raise if he doesn't get "in the mood" , a woman can perform if she isn't, A guy just can't. Two things a guy can't lie about... getting in the mood... and getting off (you know what I am speaking of here). Many women can and do lie about both all too often.

That means if he REALLY didn't like it... he could play a catcher... but he has to be into the game to play the pitcher.

Cat1864 - when I said, "MAKE HIM PAY" I actually meant that in response to what someone else had written about me going to the doctor to be checked. I meant I will be going to the doctor soon, and I'm making him pay the bill. Not that I'm making him pay for what he's done. Sorry about the confusion. Sometimes I'm in a hurry here to type a response.

Weird thing is, I think he's afraid of admitting he's bi, and secondly that he didn't consider it cheating (I guess because it was purely psychical, going on since long before me, and was a man... dumb logic!). I'm thinking there's some serious pyschological issues here, and that he's more than likely what online has described as a sociopath. I wish I could stay with him and believe him, but getting truth out of him was like pulling f-ing teeth. He wants help now and to do the right thing, but I guess people don't change easily. I'm hurt by every guy I'm ever with. I guess it's because I'm so easy going and nice and they think they can take advantage. It sucks. There's a part of me that thinks, well now he's realized I won't hate him for being open with me and maybe he will do what's right for himself by not doing things that harm him (mentally), that he'll surround himself by good people, and maybe never lie to me again... plus, if every boyfriend I've ever had lies to me, at least this one will now be honest with me now that the door has been opened, and I won't have to be blindsided again by a new lying boyfriend... or maybe people don't change and I'm setting myself up for it to happen again. I need a psychologist now!

This thread can be followed here

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/can-bi-guys-mostly-straight-have-honest-non-cheating-relationship-women-597284.html