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CFZD
Aug 22, 2011, 06:24 AM
I recently met a French guy online in the new city, he asked me out 4 dates in a row. He is very respectful, and I do feel clicked with him just on the first date. He shares the same Asian culture background as me although he is French, I have an Asian background but grew up in the States. The most important, we laughed and laughed on every single date, we just had SOOOO MUCH fun!

We share the same values, and similar background ( belief, education), even working in the same industry. Similar to me, he didn't date previously, he is very easy going a bit shy (very much like me). He is very open toward me, showed me the pics of his family, apartment, friends etc.

Now last Saturday we had the 4th date, he hugged me for 10 minutes straight, because it was cold at night, while I was waiting for the bus. We said goodbye afterward, and he texted me said he enjoying being with me and had a good time.

Next day he texted again said he just woke up, and how is my day? I answered, but no response. Normally he will email me, or text me the next day at work, but he didn't. I know he has a meeting in Paris today, but he can still check his email. I emailed him because when I called him it went straight to his voice mail in the last couple days. I want to make sure he doesn't have connectivity issues. No response?

I just feel so weird that he hasn't texted me for two days. He did get on the dating site today, if he can get on the dating site, he certainly can get on email!

I thought we had a great time, and he is interested! He even bought me a gift as a surprise that he said he will give me this week. He texted me 3 times a day, emails me at least 2 times a week, now how come it stopped? :(

amicon
Aug 22, 2011, 11:29 AM
I'm sorry but it seems he lost interest and is too much of a coward to tell you.

I wish
Aug 22, 2011, 12:31 PM
If he wanted to talk or see you again, he would find a way to get in contact with you again.

Him having activity on the dating site is definitely not a good sign. Sometimes ignoring someone is another way of letting them down easy.

CFZD
Aug 22, 2011, 12:46 PM
Hey, I just got an email from him, he said his cell phone was broken,and he has had stomachache for the whole day.
I can believe his phone had problem, because I did know that his phone wasn't working once I was calling him in the metro.
Anyway, I will take his words this time.
I could be wrong but I do see him as a good person with a good heart. I see his kindness from small things that he does to the people in the metro, waiters in the restuarants, and things he does to his grandma and sister.
In the Financial center of Europe it is just as cut-throat as in NYC. People are very materislistic and surperficial.I could go out with handsome italian men, or smart german engineers, or British businessman with an english accent.However, I am looking for someone who is true and sincere, share the same values and in the same intellectual level. I really want to give this guy a chance, a guy like him, chances for him to get a date is low in such cut-throat city. I hope the best for us!

To I Wish, that is still my concern that he is still on the dating site. But we haven't talked about exclusiveness, and we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend yet. I will take the time and see how things go. Your point is valid, and I completely understand and am aware of.

I wish
Aug 23, 2011, 01:20 PM
I'm glad he found a way to contact you and he gave an reasonable explanation. It's your choice whether you want to believe him. Since you have decided to believe him, then we can take the next step.

The fact that he has not taken off his online profile yet is because he's not yet serious enough with you to do that. Maybe at some point, he will want to get serious with you and then take off his profile.

But the fact that this is a concern for you is because you're not at the same level of feelings towards each other yet. You want something more serious than he does.

I would say, before you worry about being at the same level, just keep getting to know each other better. There is still lots more to learn about each other, so find out and go from there!

CFZD
Aug 24, 2011, 09:49 AM
He paid 200 euros on that site and only 3 dates can't get too serious I think. I didn't contact him yesterday. But I received 3 SMS 4 emails 3 calls and one voice mail from him saying sorry and he got a new phone now. He asked me out for tonight but I am not going.

I wish
Aug 24, 2011, 12:33 PM
If he's asking you out again, it means he still wants to get to know you better and to spend time with you.

Did you suddenly have a change of heart about him?

CFZD
Aug 24, 2011, 03:04 PM
I can't go b.c. I made plan with other friends. I will meet him this weekend. I try to take it light hearted as well. I realize I started to fall but talking to you asking you questions makes me think and look at myself, I stay rational that way! Thanks for your input I wish! As always! :)

I wish
Aug 25, 2011, 12:49 PM
Glad to help! Keep us posted and have fun when you meet up!

talaniman
Aug 25, 2011, 04:03 PM
Be careful. If he has many options, and opportunities, and you only have ONE, and that's him, guess who gets carried away first? Chances are great that will be YOU.

CFZD
Sep 5, 2011, 02:06 PM
Why is it so hard to understand a Cancer man?
One minute he is warm to you, the other minute he is quiet and leave you alone?
He said he likes me a lot, I am very important to him, he misses me, he asked me to call, to text to email then he doesn't necessaily respond.
E.g. Saturday he asked if we could chat online? I said yes, what is your skype then he never responded. Last week, he said could we meet on Sunday I said OK, what time you want to meet, he then never responded.
He initiated all conversations ( mostly by texting) then he stopped them himself in the middle of the conversation. I can assure he is single, he is quite honest and a nice person. ( he is not on the dating site any more)
He is having big trouble with his job that's why he can't hang out lately and had to travel back to Paris this week. But why can't he tell me what's going on? I am okay if he doesn't want to tell, but why he said he can tell me now then all of the a sudden he stopped texting me about what happened to him? He said he doesn't want to bother me with his issues, I said I understand I will wait for him to solve the problem. And if I don't respond to his email on the same day he would call/email/text 10 times.
What's wrong with this guy? He is 30 and I don't think he is immature. He gives all when he is on a date with me,a nice gentleman, sweet, generous, shy and he only dated one girl before me.

Wondergirl
Sep 5, 2011, 02:15 PM
What is your sign?

(I have been married for 44 years to a Cancer man, so maybe I can advise you.)

CFZD
Sep 5, 2011, 02:27 PM
Cancer, as I said in the title.
He just sent me a message saying he will come back on Friday to get some clothes because he will be working in Paris for two weeks, but he will come back to spend weekend with me.
What should I say?

Wondergirl
Sep 5, 2011, 02:32 PM
Cancer, as I said in the title.
He just sent me a msg saying he will come back on friday to get some clothes coz he will be working in Paris for two weeks, but he will come back to spend weekend with me.
What should I say?
I asked for YOUR sign.

I'd spend the weekend with him and get to know him better.

CFZD
Sep 5, 2011, 02:33 PM
Sorry , I am Aries!

Wondergirl
Sep 5, 2011, 02:40 PM
Does this make sense? It seems to fit. (My mom's an Aries.)

When it comes to Aries woman and Cancer man, it is balancing between the outgoing and extrovert nature of the former with the comfort loving and introvert characteristics of the latter. Both Aries and Cancer have great attraction for each other but to ensure the relation works perfectly for long time they have to work hard. Otherwise, the attraction would wane too soon leaving them poles apart from each other.

Aries woman may find Cancer man a bit possessive and restraining and difficult to understand due to frequent mood swings. Problem point in the relationship is that while great understanding and adjustments are required, both of these partners are stubborn as well as inflexible in nature.

If each of the two partners bends a little, the relationship could flourish into one of the best possible while if the two do not relinquish their stubborn obstinacy, the relationship could be damaged beyond repair. Success and failure of the relationship are thus their own making most of the times.

Aries Woman And Cancer Man | Aries And Cancer Love Match And Compatibility - THE OFFICIAL SITE! (http://ariesandcancer.com/category/aries-woman-and-cancer-man/)

CFZD
Sep 18, 2011, 10:03 AM
I don't understand this, is that me or him? Long story short:
Last Saturday he came to see me, and he asked me what I would like to do this Sunday and he said he will come to see me this Sunday. I told me what I like to go to this museum that he is also interested in.
On Thursday, he said what I am doing on Sunday? I said I would like to hang out with you. He said that sounds great but he has 10 page paper to complete in two weeks and he has a presentation next Monday. So I asked, if he is still coming to see me. He didn't respond. I asked again and told him if he is busy we don't have to hang out. I always support him. He didn't give me any answer. I asked again, please tell me if you are coming so I can make plan according, and again I told him, its okay he doesn't come, I understand.
On Friday night, he told me that he will be busy on Sat. What I am doing? I told him I will be going to a pot lock etc. He then asked what I am doing on Sunday. I told him again, I thought you would come but if you don't come its okay. He said let him check the train, he checked then told me that it cost 200 euros to come. I said, that's too expensive, I wouldn't want you to spend that kind of money to see me. I miss him and we will see each other when it's a better time for him.
On Saturday night, he told me he will make my dream come true, he would like to see me. I was at the potluck so I didn't hear the text until after one hours, he called me 6 times and texted 5 times. So I called him back told him, I would have course like to see him.

All the conversations were done by texting from him, he NEVER answered any of my calls or call me except for Sat. Night but I wasn't able to reach the phone.

He said he would come on Sunday last Sat. Then he changed his idea on Thursday, Friday, but last min on Saturday night. I called him one hour later, then he never responded back, so today he texted me saying b.C. I didn't respond in time, he changed the ticket to next weekend. I am always so understanding with him, always, I compromise him in every way so far, try to be so patient. I feel that he is so changeable, unreliable, yet he is caring when I am with him and he bought me gifts, a totally gentleman. I understand he is busy and just lost his job and starting a new one ( which he didn't tell me until afterwards, I was also understanding about that too).

Should I keep talking to him? ( it's always in texting, man he tells me to call him so many times, and every time I call him, he would never respond!)

I am so confused and frustrated now!

landomando
Sep 18, 2011, 07:03 PM
Talk to him. You two just need to communicate better.

CFZD
Sep 19, 2011, 04:33 AM
I tried to talk to him in a real nice way, he told me to be cool and relax... I don't know how I should solve this problem then.

Cat1864
Sep 19, 2011, 05:54 AM
If this seems harsh, it is not directed at you but at a man who apparently thinks his needs are the only ones in the relationship.

I think you need to stop being so understanding of his 'needs'. If he won't sit down and talk (no, texting) to you about the relationship and expectations, then I think you need to look at your own needs and how he isn't as worried about you as you are about him.

With his behavior, I would seriously consider ending the relationship due to his inability to set plans and keep them. He seems to have a lot of excuses for not seeing you and none of them are his fault. They seem designed to keep you holding on for 'the next time.'

When was the last time you actually saw him? If you look at his pattern of behavior, do you really expect him to show up or to text saying that something came up or you didn't respond to one of his texts as quickly as he thinks you should have so he isn't coming?

He doesn't respond to your calls which he asked for in the first place. But he expects you to text back immediately even when he knows you are at a potluck. He isn't trying to build a relationship. He is keeping you available for when he wants to be with you.

As one Aries to another, I would not be putting up with this from anyone else so why put up with it from him. I may be understanding of my partner's needs, but I am not going to allow him to walk all over mine.

I would end my confusion and frustration by walking away from the cause. Actually, I did and then I found a man who wanted to work with me to build a future. It was hard walking away from someone I thought I loved. But when I got some distance from him, I realized it was the relationship I was trying to hold on to instead of him.

Take care of yourself and your needs and good luck.

talaniman
Sep 19, 2011, 05:39 PM
Your solution is simple, STOP GOING ALONG WITH HIS PROGRAM. Let him do the chasing and wondering.

Is this the "french guy"?

CFZD
Sep 20, 2011, 04:31 AM
Yes, that's the french man.

CFZD
Nov 2, 2011, 02:24 AM
An update on this french man, with the limited communication and so many issues he has had, he didn't want to talk about with me before, over the weekend he suddenly texted me how much he liked me and he has resigned his job and will move back to my city b.c. of me!
I am surprised... I have actually tried to forget about him, and erase him out of my life in the last month.
There is one German guy I met lately, he likes me very much too. I have gone out with him couple times,and he is really nice to me. I like him, not as quick as how I felt for the french man, but this German guy is more reliable and communicative.
What should I do now?